Hourglass...new one, finally!

by nickelpickle
  • March 13, 2005
  • Short Story

It was interesting... *turns laptop upside down* nope that didnt help..im a bit confused, but it kept me reading..it needs more...gret writing though:)

Comments & reviews · 3
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hekategirl
Review
hekategirl wrote a review · Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:23 pm

This isn't my favorite of the Hourglasses, but its nice. For some reason I don't like it when you use 'Tis' I don't why though. And this one was a tad confusing like when you write this:

I’m Thomas. What’s your name?” He absentmindedly asks, his attention mostly focused on George.

“I’m Luke.” Thomas’s head jerks upward.

“You’re the boy who…” He makes the motion of firing a gun, with a little ‘bang’ in it for dramitazation effects. I look down, uncomfortable.

“Yes.” Now, apparently unimpressed, he turns back to the worm.

“That mussa been scary.”


Huh???? you'll proably clear that up in the next chapters but it was a little confusing to read with out any backround.

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Elizabeth
Comment
Elizabeth commented · Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:17 am

Favor for a favor great job Sam... i am too tired to point out mistakes or nything but.. otherwise good....

MONKEYS!!!



You walk into this room at your own risk, because it leads to the future, not a future that will be but one that might be. This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements, technological advances, and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the super states that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.
— Rod Serling