Wasting my time without light.
There is no fight in me.
I close my eyes,
but nothing is right.
My dreams have seen the sun.
Even then,
They paint quiet lies.
Now,
The painting lives.
You were clothed in glistening black.
Holding a scarlet sash.
And your liquid glance,
It would have shattered glass.
The ocean surrounded where we stood.
Your reflection crushed my plans.
So then,
All I wanted was a dainty hand.
I reached across the expanse...
But these dreams,
They painted lies.
And now,
The painting dies.
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,847 Reviews
Nice poem! I love the voice in this piece. It seemed as if it suddenly spilled out of your soul! In my opinion, I also think it had kind of a mystery to it! Also, the imagery you created is rare and distinct. Nice work!
Hi there.
This was very good. Your use of launguage here is great. You avoid all cliches and keep everything vivid and strong.
This poem here deals with some dark themes and you handle that very well. The imagery is really good.
So keep going with this it's really good.
I really like this poem. The emotion just flows in the words and the descriptions paint a very vivid and interesting picture in my mind. It makes me want more haha. Keep up the good work I can't wait for more. May you receive many and helpful reviews. I can't find anything wrong with this grammar or spelling wise. Nor with the poem in itself so good job. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!
Soulkana<3