Tale of Love

ONE

I stare at the pathway to your office, like it’s some kind of magic portal, to my personal fairy-tale. As I walk towards it, I hear melodies like the cry of angels; beseeching me to come therein. But my nerves fail me. My pulse goes over the roof and my heart, my heart is suddenly overcome with sadness; because what I want so badly, I cannot have. My tears descend like a waterfall in spring and with a heavy heart and my hands on my face, just in time to hide my tears from my co workers, I go back to my cubicle because he was coming out; my boss was coming out of his office.
Does he notice me? Did he notice I wore these cute glasses today? They give such compliment to my round face. Oh! Did he notice them? It’s not really a new jacket. I have been saving them for the right occasion but I wanted to look different - good different that's why I wore them today. Just for him. So he will see there is more to me than the haggard girl from the fifth floor.

Julia grew up in an orphanage. It was quite nice, a small cottage that looked like something out of a fairy-tale. They had less than Two hundred  kids there. I guess the inhabitants of Barnawa, didn't abandon their kids as much.

Julia, 9 years old. Independent and a little bit head strong enjoyed the thoughts of adventure. So behind the cottage, against the Mrs. Nun’s orders (As they called their orphanage Head Mistress) she would climb through a small opening in the wall, which lead to a main road but across the main road was an apple tree. That bore such succulent apple and seems to belong to no one. But bless her soul, she loved them. So each weekend, she would go there and pluck an apple, sit under it and eat, and carve something into the tree’s bark. She didn't just enjoy plucking apples from the tree, but also enjoyed climbing it, That was her routine.

. This tree was so big; it grew into the house of the Adamson’s. Mr. Adamson has always wanted to cut the tree down because it grew into his property but Mrs. Adamson stops him every time. She feels it has a calming feel to it. The Adamson’s had a big house, gorgeous cars and lived very comfortable. I even heard Mr. Adamson may be governor or so.

David is the only child of the Adamson’s they loved him so. Coincidentally, h also loved this apple tree and would enjoy the apples that fell into his house if one luckily grew on the branches that blossomed into their house. Each day, as he be driven to and fro school, he would say a sweet hello to his apple tree that supplied him with such sweetness. And when he would go on his bike rides, he would stop for a while and also carve something into the tree.

Both David and Julia wondered who else shared such love for their tree that would constantly carve words into it too.

Fast forward Eleven years later....

I know that when you love someone, your very essence is consumed by the thoughts of that one special person; With your invariable nature completely depleted thereby losing your quintessence in the process. “i refuse such baloney “I say, as i steal one last look at his perfect face.

But still my heart flutters like the wings of a million butterflies and when i see you, i completely loose sweet reason and totally throwing caution to the wind, i slide into the parallel universe where your love for me shines so bright, it hinders the sun.

Loving you, is like giving away a chunk of my oxygen, that way, I've put my life in your hand but I’ll be screwed if that you throw the oxygen tank away leaving me, breathless and crushed. As you can tell, I’m in love or maybe it’s a crush, wait, maybe its infatuation. I can barley tell the difference. I can’t explain why I feel this way. Should i tell you? Should I tell you how many butterflies I get when I see your face? And how much I blush when you look my way? Maybe I will or maybe not. 

I am not the usual girl next door or the high maintenance bimbo. I am more of the quiet shy girl with the weird hair and of course, with occasional mishaps like tripping, and sneezing in people face by mistake – a little too often. Apart from that, I do just fine. I am an intelligent, funny and adventurous girl but unlike the other pretty and flawless girls in the office, I seem to be in the dark. It’s like there is this secret language, they – normal people speak which makes them socially acceptable but when I try to talk to people, it’s like the more I talk, the more freaked out they get by me- or do I usually say the wrong things or don’t they just like me? - _ - I also think there is this secret place they go through every morning that brushes away every bit of flaw and makes them exceptionally beautiful and chic. Kind of like a car wash. They look so effortlessly gorgeous but until I find that place, I’m doomed to walk the earth just the way I am; and worse, continuously, I’ll keep yearning for his love in silence because truthfully, no one wants someone that looks as haggard as I do. But my very existence still revolves around thoughts of being with him.

‘Miss Julia’ ‘Miss Julia’ called my supervisor. Her loud voice brought me back to earth.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to drop off the document at Mr. David’s office? Are you trying to make me lose my job? You know how important this document is to today’s board meeting.”

Of course! I was on my way to drop it off at his office when I was suddenly overcome by my silly emotions then forgot about my obligations and ran back to my cubicle; forgetting the reason I was at that floor in the first place.

“I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll get right on it immediately.”

She gave me a stern look and said,

“Honestly Julia, if you weren’t so good at your job, I would have had you fired a long time ago. You sometimes lose concentration. I wonder what’s constantly on your mind.”

If only she knew. And if she did, she wouldn’t even care. She will probably fire me if she found out I was hopelessly in love with our boss.

I race back to 44th floor but I stop by the powder room to fix my hair. Sigh! Nothing I ever do will make me have the perfect hair. I have tried everything. I even cut my hair short just to make sure it looks the part but I seem to have made the whole haggard look worse. Anyway, I spray on my favorite perfume. Oh no! I probably sprayed on a little too much. I’ll just wait for a while for the scent soften a little bit. While I was inside the powder room, still laying quiet commands to my hair, two blond women walked in. They looked so chic and gorgeous. Perfectly tailored suits, long hair and heels I couldn’t believe they could walk with. And they scented so nice. And the instant they walked in, they both gave me a disapproving look. Meanwhile, they seemed to be talking about a man and how they thought he was absolutely gracious and handsome.

The first lady said “oh my goodness! Do you see the suits he wears; just one of those could pay my salary for a whole year. He is so chic.”

“How superficial” I thought to myself...

Second lady said, “His face, ooh... And that body! He obviously works out daily. His girlfriend is so lucky. I will steal him the first chance I get. I just wish Mr. David would ask me out.”

. “You and me both “

Oh no… did I say that out loud? They both stared at me and then the first blond said,

“What the hell are talking about? And don’t you know listening in on someone’s conversation is rude?” the second blond snapped!

. “And what are you even doing on this floor? This floor is no place for people like you. Now go!

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

And then I left the powder room. I felt sad. How could they say someone like me didn’t belong on this floor? I may not look the part but I have both their IQ’s combined and then some. Anyway, I wasn’t about to get upset over people that shouldn't matter. On my way to his office to drop off the document, my legs were shaking and my pulse was over the roof.

This wasn’t going to be our first meeting. The first time we met, was at the company’s Christmas party. He looked so exquisite in his black suit and oxblood tie. Looking at him, it was like he fell from heaven and decided to honor us by walking among us – mere humans. He’s such a giver! I felt so much tension just looking at him. which reminds me of this theory i have, i call it the Love theory. you see,It’s my belief, that when two people who are meant for each other, are seconds away from colliding, the tension in the earth’s atmosphere becomes so high that lights all around the world begin to flicker for ten seconds straight; because of the magnitude of their love that has been foreseen. Birds begin to sing and trees wave with the utmost anticipation of their union that has been predestined by the forces of time.

When their eyes meet, time stops. the earth stands still, then a sudden flood of emotion blinds their method of reasoning. That’s why they say love is blind. I know because i have seen it before.
While their eyes are on a fixed gaze of each other, their heart beat is at its highest velocity, there becomes numbness in their fingers and toes. There is the sudden feel of floating on a cloud. and they would swear they hear angels sing an "A" note continously as they walk towards each other.
During this time in space, these two people are adamant about their surrounding, they become totally unaware of the people or things around them. Heavens forbid they meet on a main road, then theirs would be a tragic comedy.
When they get to few centemiters close to each other, their eyes begins to caress each others existence, in that fixed gaze, a pure light , mixed with each of their essence, escapes from their beings; thats why most people gasp for breath at the first sight of their one true love. And then this essence, mixed with pure light and emotions, meet at their center and collide in beautiful harmony.
That, my darlings... is how it begins. At least, thats how i think it happens, Right? right?

       My hands felt numb that the champagne glasses I held up in a tray above my head almost fell off. That would have been disastrous because I was a waiter at the dinner party. I had so much student loan to pay off so I took up any part-time job I could handle. Anyway I regained my balance and tried to focus on work.

“Table two needs a refill” the head chef shouted.

“I’m on it”... I searched with my eyes for table three and walked slowly towards it. On my way there, someone tapped my shoulder and said.

“Excuse me! May I have a glass of wine?”

“Yeah sure” and then I turned around and guess who? It was David. I just stood there like I had seen a ghost and for five seconds, I froze! I just stood there looking at his perfect face and then almost embarrassed, he asked again

“Do you think I can have one of those? He said with a quick smile.

I suddenly regained consciousness, “Oh! I’m sorry, you can’t. It’s for table three and I don’t want to keep them waiting”. I said in a soft panic.

Wait! Why did I just say that?

“What?”

Huh? Oh... I said, it’s for table three and…

He cut me short and said, “ basically you work for me, and I’ll be paying for the services you render this evening so why don’t you just give me a glass and no one gets hurt” in an almost playful tone.

Exhaling a nervous short breath, “Ok! “ I handed him a glass but it almost fell from my hand but he caught it before it slipped off and at that very moment of impact, with his hands on mine, it felt amazing. And then suddenly, our eyes met. His eyes looked so brown and warm. That was the moment I fell in love with him. This happened in a split second but for me, time stopped.

“Wow! How much are you paying such a clumsy waiter?’ Beatrice his girlfriend asked, as she walked towards us.

He gave a kind smile and gave her the glass of wine. That was my queue. I turned around and headed for table three.

David looked particularly dashing today. Gosh! I love him so much it hurts. I hope he doesn’t remember how clumsy and almost embarrassing I was at the party. Actually I hope he forgets my face. I want this to be a fresh start.

I walked smartly to his secretary and asked if I could go in and talk to him.

“Why do you need to talk to him? Do you have an appointment?” she asked,

“I don’t really need one. He is expecting this document and he needs it for his meeting this afternoon”

“Give it to me. I’ll hand it to him myself”

What? What was she trying to pull? I came all the way to this floor and won’t get to see him? Why was she being so difficult?

“I’m sorry that won’t do. I have some important information I have to pass to him vocally “I lied.

“Well then write it down” she said almost raising her voice.

“The meeting is less than thirty minutes. Do you really want to be the reason he goes in there without the necessary information he needs? Because I won’t hesitate to tell anyone that asks that it’s your entire fault. It might even get you fired.”

“Fine, you can go in” she said, as she rolled her eyes.

I knocked faintly and I heard him say “come on in”

I stepped in head first and said, “Ummnn… Good day sir! My supervisor asked me to hand the Oscar enterprise document to you; she said you needed them as soon as she was done with the compilation.”

“Yes I do. “Then he paused, why didn’t you just hand them to my secretary?”

“Ummnn… well, my supervisor specifically said, ‘hand them to Mr. David’ and I…I take my job seriously”.

“Ok… “He said, with a grin and his eyebrows rose for a second.

Even though I didn’t want him to remember me, I felt a little sad he had forgotten. And then I turned to leave.

“Err… waiter girl! Tell my secretary to come in here for a sec.”

The hair on my skin stood. He remembers. Not sure if it was a good or bad thing but he remembered. I didn’t turn around, I just said,

“Sure”.

And then, I walked out with a huge smile on my face. Yes! My lifelong dream was fulfilled. He knows I exist.

As I walked out of his office, I felt such joy. I have never felt this kind of happiness before. My tummy was in knots my palms were sweaty. I walked up to his secretary and said,

“David wants to see you.”

“Its Mr. David, I don’t know who you think you are but I’ll make sure I put you in your place “.

I looked at her with surprise and wondered where that came from. I didn’t even mean any disrespect. With my head spinning with thoughts of him and i together, I forgot to add ‘Mr.’ anyways, I wasn’t going to let her ruin my first ray of sunshine I have had in a long while. I went back to my cubicle a happy girl. Who would have thought; I was the sobbing girl like thirty minutes ago. Now I was grinning to myself from chin to chin.

When the day was over, and everyone was busy finalizing their work for the day, crossing the “T” and dotting their “I’, I was busy writing a poem about David in my journal. Sometimes, when I get excited or emotional, I write about it. So I wrote:

I like your lips looks like they are made of silver.

I like you eyes, they are like little crystals.

I like your cute little smile, it makes me shiver.

Not sure if this will work but I’m not much of a thinker.

Because in head, thoughts of you linger.

Maybe I should write you a song. Yup! I’m a singer.

And yes, I sing too and I’m pretty good at it. But my parents didn’t want me to major in anything ARTS. They wanted me to do anything that had to do with science that way, they figured my future would be bright and it would give me a major chance for success. With the writing, I am no Shakespeare but I write what I feel and anyone that read it, seemed to like it. After today, I see myself writing many more poems about David in my journal.

After I was done, I was spent. Apart from the David thing, work was quite stressful but I was finished with all my work for the day and the company was closed for the day and it was time to go home. So I headed downstairs for the lobby. I had my head down because I was trying to check for any missed calls or messages. I hadn’t looked at my phone all day. As I walked faced down, I bumped into someone and phone fell to the ground. As I picked it up, rising to my feet, I screamed.

“Hey, watch where you are going;  Jerk”!

And of course, the jerk was David. And immediately I wished I hadn’t said what I said.

“I’m sorry sir; I…I didn’t know it was you”

“No I’m sorry I was the jerk that bumped into you” he said smiling.

Then I looked down at my feet.

“So what exactly do you do here?”

I looked up and saw his perfect formed face, focused on mine. I could barely speak; I just smiled back like a star stricken fan. As I found the will to speak, I said, ummn… well… I work on the fifth floor. We are in charge of the ….ummnn…

“Baby there you are” Beatrice screamed from half way across the lobby.

I watched her as she walked towards us. She was perfect. Perfect hair, body, face and she had etiquette. She was every man’s dream and every woman wanted to look like her and from where I was standing, I could tell she smelled super nice and expensive... Hec! I would date her if I were a guy.

Here! She handed me the shopping bags she was carrying.

Why? I asked.

“Is she not the company’s maid or help or something? “She turned and asked David.

O my GOD! I mouthed softly to myself. I had never been so humiliated in my life. My face turned red and then for the second time that day, Tears rolled down my eyes. But this was a different kind of pain. This one pierced deeper.

“C’mon that’s not very nice. Let’s go.” said David and took her by the hand and left. As they left, she took one last look at me. I felt as if I had been stripped naked in front of a big crowd and they were pointing and laughing at the top of their lungs with glee. Wait, no. this felt worse.

I just stood there and watched them leave and still in disbelief. How could he let her say such hurtful words to me and not make her apologize? But how could he? I know he didn’t owe me anything and technically, compared to her fancy clothes, I did look like a maid. But then again, He didn’t even know my name. I was just “waiter girl” to him. I finally found the strength to move my feet. I walked home that day; thinking hard about my life. Taking a good look at my life and crying all the way home like a child that was punished by her teacher in school and going home to tell her parents. I hated David for not standing up for me. Yes, he told her to be nice but that wasn’t enough. She basically used me to mop the floor. My dignity was shattered and the best he could do was, “that’s not nice”. Maybe I chose the wrong guy to fall for. Basically that’s my life story. I always fall for the wrong ones- I’ll elaborate.

I had my very first crush at the age of seven; his name was Michael. He was cute, smart and funny but he had a girl friend already so I just crushed on him in silence and always prayed that he would one day like me as much I liked him. This went on for four years but he still didn’t notice me. On the fourth year, I was transferred to another school and also crushed on a boy named Festus but he also had a girl friend but this time I didn’t crush over him in silence- lesson learned. I showed him I liked him but without saying a word to him about it. You know, the occasional smiles and laughing at his obviously dead jokes. He understood the message but instead of avoiding me since he didn’t like me back, he gave me false hope. When his girl friend dumped him, I assumed he would then become my boyfriend but my mistake was that I avoided this question" WHY DO YOU LIKE HIM”? the thing is, if you like someone ask yourself the reason why and if you can’t answer that question perfectly, then end that crush or relationship if not you will end up hurting yourself like I did. After his break up, he ended up with another girl which hurt my feelings so bad because I was next in line (at least that’s what I thought) but with time the pain healed but I still crushed on him but he still took me for granted and never took me seriously for three years. On the third year I asked myself that question I was avoiding then it made me finally realize that the only reason I crushed on him was that I didn’t want to feel lonely or even without purpose – if you will, technically I just needed someone to fill in the blank space that read “do you have a crush” because every other person had someone they crushed on. Plus I didn’t have any other choice because either every other person was taken or too childish to handle a relationship. But after I asked myself that question; I stopped crushing on him. But the truth is that I don’t want to ask myself the same question with David. This might seem crazy but I love my pain. The pain I feel because of David is a bitter-sweet kind of pain.

As I walked home, amidst all the tears I shed, I had a moment of clarity. I decided to fix my life. I mean, look at me. I was a total mess. Deep down I knew Beatrice had the right to say what she said because I looked the part. I decided it was time to change everything – I mean everything. Maybe if I looked the part, every other thing would follow. Like David’s attention and if I’m lucky, his love.

I decided to join a gymnasium to get into shape. Let’s face it, I was overweight. The truth is that I needed a makeover from head to toe but I hadn’t the faintest idea on how to achieve it but I knew I had to. I was already twenty. I can’t continue assuming that my being unkempt was a phase and it would pass. I had no one to talk to about it. I lived alone. I barely had friends and my neighbors were foreigners that barely spoke English. I wasn’t sure on how I would achieve my newly found goal but I knew I had to; if I wanted to live a happy life. As opposed to a life of continuous crying and bullying by other perfect looking women.

I got ready for bed. And before I closed my eyes to sleep, I wrote this down:

Beautiful butterfly, your wings are broken

All from the hurt you feel.

Mama says you are beautiful

But they don’t seem to see it too

Tell me… What is beauty? Is it her curves?

Or the absence of flaws.

Oh! How can I make you see- the beauty that’s inside of me.

I barely slept. I was busy making a mental list of how many changes I had to make but at the same time not lose myself. You would be surprised how long that list was but I decided to shorten it. When I was fully awake, I made an outline of things I needed to do to improve myself.

1. Go on a diet, preferable vegetarian. Visit a nutritionist for help on the perfect diet for you.

2. work out daily for thirty minutes

3. Visit a beautician every two weeks for hair, facial, manicure and a pedicure.

4. Change your perfume

5. Change your wardrobe, it’s awful- A drag queen wouldn’t dare pick an outfit from it even if it was for free.

6. Drink lots of water – 2000ml daily.

7. Shop once a week for one cute outfit or shoe or maybe a bag.

8. Learn how to apply makeup _ it would help highlight your already beautiful formed face.

And finally,

GET DAVID TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND BREAK HIS HEART. –he deserves it. Maybe I am being a little too harsh with my last point of agenda. But men are like that. They just feel they can act whatever way they please. They have continued this way for centuries. I’ll do this for all the women of the world. “My pleasure” I could hear the loud applause in my head. Women of different races, from the past time and present, at their feet, applauding.

Technically, this wasn’t the first time a guy had chosen someone better over me. It happened during my last year in high school. Everyone had started making preparations for our final examinations which included the necessity for evening tutoring. One day, during evening lessons, a new boy started the lesson with us, his name was ido. He was cute but this time seemed to like me. He became my friend and that’s how we started hanging out but there was this girl that was a year below both of us. Truthfully I had no idea why she attended the tutoring. She obviously had a different reason apart from gaining knowledge because for her level, she wasn’t required to write the exam for another two to three year but yet, there she was. She liked him too so she started flirting with him. I was helpless. I wasn’t the kind to flirt to counter her flirting. Even if I was, I wouldn’t know how. She would go as far as dancing in front of him during lessons. I got tired of everything so I just stopped talking to him because I wasn’t going to fight for a boy with a younger girl. It was beneath me. But the sad thing is that he started dating her or I think he did and then afterwards, he jumped to her best friend and then my best friend. Yes, I know. I dogged a bullet but the point is he chose her over me and left me hanging.

– To be continued

TWO