Published January 25, 2011
This is dedicated to Noah A. Page, you are an extremely inspirational writer and a person I miss dearly in my daily life. I hope you're inspiring other people elsewhere.
You came in the heated blister of Summer,
a Summer I recall strictly in youth's depth.
Waving hair fell down your face, chocolate
the same as your eyes that bore into words.
There in a place so faraway from it all;
from the buses, the streetcars, the lights
and mostly the sour disapointments,
we found each other in a strange mess of life.
As dicsovery commenced, odd as it was,
I found a wordsmith amongst artists
and a unique being like none other before you.
The sky to us and us alone looked painted,
a blank canvas a child waves its hand across.
Life's curves and detours came and passed,
We took to them much like One instead of Two.
Cruel, crisp Winter grasped our creative minds.
No longer was there green grass for us to lay upon,
and no longer did your hand find mine in the day.
Ice blanketed what used to be our playgorund,
and now words could not unfold like before
So we forced them in screaming cries onto the floor.
Weeks dripped by with incadescent slowness,
yearning for sunlight I imagined backwards
Of a sweet time when first we were together.
Now, sick with attempts an explosion occurs,
so close to the encompassing light of Summer.
Our hands are too small, brittle to hold on
Our shoelaces are tangled, and our bodies worn.
All we could do was gaze upon the coming days,
and know we could not make it to see their greatness.
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140,727 Literary Works • 673,681 Reviews
Hey mystiquevander,
I was browing through the literary forums, and saw your name under this piece and knew it was worth reading. And if definitely was! Just take a quick glance through the poem, there's a few spelling errors, nothing too important though!
So, here's where you can stop reading, because basically I'm going to completely spill on why I loved this! The imagery was reall great, igniting most of my senses and definitely emotion. The emotional wave and feel in this was beautiful. It was like a small wave containing a greater power, crashing up against rocks on a shore, not harshly, but strong enough to impact. Which is what this poem did. And I really liked how you showed the emotional difference between the first and second verse. Comparing feelings with the weather almost, the Sun with happiness and clouds with sadness.
It only made me want to throw myself deeper into it. Best wishes for future writing mysti! (Yes, that is what I'm calling you from now on, lol. If you don't mind...)
RedLeaf
It is a good poem....
Very well written and as said above very good use of imagery....
In a very proper way you turned your story into these beautiful verses....
You are a very talented writer...
Keep up the great work...
PM me for anything....
Hiya! I'm Luxy and I'm going to review this for you. This was very well written and I liked all the imagery that you used. It made this very intriguing to read. I thought that you made the transistion from happy to sad very well and you wrapped it up well. Keep writing!
Luxy