Published February 17, 2010
felt tip fingers, the wondrous
mingling intertwined interlaced
interlocking inserted insecure
sweet anxiety, the thumping chest
arrested soft and sweet his lips so soft
trailing below the lines summer breath
hers exhaled, exhilaratingly painful
intelligibly thrilling unfortunately false
sweet eruption. Failed capture.
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Canary word: Present
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140,775 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
I loved it. The fast face of it. The flow was great. Perfectly describing teenage lust. Your obviously very talented. What inspired you to write this poem. It immediately caught my attention. All in all I have no criticisms you have done a perfect job with this. Well done!
I do love the mixture of syntactical style used. The flow of the sentences is very original.
Although I do think that the introduction could have more information.
The grammar does confuse the original idea but at the same time works well with the stylistic feature of the poem. Well done