Chapter One
If you think Fae are always happy, guess again. I mean, just because human are supposed to be all whiny and selfish doesn`t mean Faeries are absolute perfection. How would I know this? Not because I`m a Faerie, right? Yes, I`m a Faerie named Madeline Becker, or as I`m more often called, Insanely Mad.
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(Unfinished)
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Canary word: Present
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayy....well this is a very intriguing piece right here. I do get that this is unfinished at the moment, but considering it has been a few years I doubt its going to be finished anytime seen so I'll review this piece which I suppose can be taken as the first paragraph of the first chapter which does make it one of the most important paragraphs so lets see how it measures up.
Soo...as far a hook goes and as far as this being attention grabbing as a first paragraph, I think it manages to do its job pretty well actual. Faeries aren't exactly the most unique topic but this is a fairly unique take on that topic and it looks like you've put you're own spin on things and with lines especially like the very last one which says that our protagonist is called Insanely Mad definitely intrigue me....with what it could possible mean, so I can say this is the sort of thing that would make me want to continue reading the rest of this chapter and beyond.
So overall, as far as first paragraphs go, this one's really well done here...and it seems like it could do its job and do it quite well.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey I get that this is unfinished, but it'll be great if you post the whole finished chapter. If its not done, just type it out on a document and copy and paste the final work here later. It'll make reviewing a lot more easier
Not much to say yet since the details are still vague, but the first two sentences was a good hook. Personally, try not to go to the whole 'how do I know? Well I am one, my name is _____" Intro since yes, its straightforward, but not as interesting.
The 'Insanely Mad' bit was intriguing though.
thanks for the compliments and the advice.
Hey mymy!
Well um, this isn't how your supposed to post things on YWS. If possible your usually meant to write it out on Microsoft word so you can save it and keep adding to it so you can eventually post it on YWS. This isn't really a chapter either. I've seen poetry longer then this. Also, maybe you want to write about something else because this "Faerie" idea has been used ALOT lately. Some sections in this writing could be changed as well. Lastly, I didn't get much information from this. All I found out was this story is going to be about Faeries. I didn't learn the apperance of the main character, the age or even the gender. Well anyway just something to think about.
Jordan
Okay, Thanks. I just found this site, and I don`t know much about it.