Published January 2, 2010
Part your lips and whisper a sweet verse of poetry. Open yourself up to the treasures of a heart and mind. Speak out when others cannot speak. When there is no noise scream, and shout. Once alone left without another’s presence spring up and reach the unreachable. Hold on to the people you trust hold their hands and be apart of their life song. Tearing and breaking you down might become the outcome of what others strive to do to you because of your bravery. You power to be what you are and your ability to not prey on others. When the waves of hate crash upon your tender skin do not be hit and fall instead stand up for your rights. Your beliefs of right and wrong will scare the wicked and they will slowly wither away to nothing. The good in you will frighten their horrid heart and it will quake when you stab at it with love, compassion, and forgiveness. They will hide their emotions of sorrow and hold on to the anger that once consumed them, and held them prisoner in their own body. When they were trapped in a cell, or held captive you will be their to free their souls from the deep abyss. Your quest to help others will make your life more treacherous than ever but the rewards will benefit you greatly. At times the world will be sinister and horrible but there is beauty. Once it is found never forget it hold on to the memories of triumph instead of dwelling on the dark sides of things.
Its rough work but i got inspired and whatever came to mind i wrote.
~myintensity~
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140,653 Literary Works • 673,580 Reviews
quite spectacular stranger, each word effortlessly flowed. Its like i can see you saying them. a beautiful poem if thats what it is.
I really enjoyed this. You do need a lot more punctuation sprinkled about in your piece; but I loved the idea and the content.
I especially loved this part.
EDIT: The rest of my comments were written under the impression that this was posted in poetry
It does feel like free-verse poetry, though. Something to consider?
*****The Universe******
Hello again.
Nitpicks and comments:
The beginning line is very sweet and really cute, I like it. Mind if I use it sometime?
Comma after "Fall."
Comma after "Ever."
Comma after "Horrible," please remember to put commas! xD
Comma after "Found."
Okay, so I like this one too, a lot. It is very good and you have so much talent, keep on writing and chillin' like you do.