Published April 2, 2011
A Perfect Image
Am I everything you place me to be?
Am I beautiful, amazing, kind, caring?
How can you think I'm so great?
You all place me on this pedestal.
Praising me, telling me I'm everything you'd want to be.
But I'm not.
I'm not this perfect person you play me as.
I'm not a pristine glass image splayed with color and adornments.
I'm a piece of shattered glass, plain, and forever broken.
There is nothing separating me from the crowd.
I blend in as if I weren't there.
When someone looks at me,
They see simple, quiet, and nothing more.
Yet you see greatness, extravagance, perfection.
How is your perception of me so warped?
Is it truly warped?
Or is it my outlook that's distorted?
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140,544 Literary Works • 673,415 Reviews
This was really good.
That was really, really good. Wonderful job.
Wow. Thank you for this monument to imperfection and I definitely wish I could write something like this! Your statements are very strong and your word selection is excellent. Very well, writ, my friend.
Hey there! I really enjoyed this poem, and it did a great job of portraying the author's (???) perspective. I love the contrast between author's impression of themselves versus the subject's impression of the author. Overall, great job, and sorry for the not-so-helpful review, but I honestly just can't do any nitpicking with this one! I look forward to reading more of your work, and until then, Ciao!
This is an awesome piece! I couldn't find anything wrong with it. Happy writing!
Wow this poem is great!!!!!!! I love the title and hoe it relates so well to the poem.
I can really relate to this poem, and honestly I think everybody can relate.
It's so truthful, an I can see the whole image!!!!!!!!!!
The only thing is that the poem basically stops after each line, maybe put some more commas instead of as many periods.
Overall this poem is amazing!!!!!!!
I love it so much!!!!!!!!!
Keep up the great work!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY REVIEW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's not true, everyone stands out somehow. How many people do you know that can write a poem like this? I sure don't know a lot! I write poetry too, but I fail at non-rhyming! I'm glad you didn't make it rhyme, though. It makes it seem more serious and sad. The whole thing pulls together quite nicely.
Hi there. Lavvi in to review.
So, today, I'm not going to talk about the substance of the poem but more about technicalities. I'm glad that you do punctuate, but it's not exactly in the right way. There are too many periods and it makes the poem stop: it's rather clunky with all of them. Replace them with commas, semi-colons et cetera. It will make the reader pause, for sure, but not at a full stop. It will enhance the poem's fluidity.
Yours,
Lavvi
great piece! Most people don't see themselves like others do..I don't have any criticism really...
nice!!
Alright, to the review. You have great imagery here:
and the poem has a very nice flow to it. However, at the end of the day, it's just another poem. I guess, this poem isn't powerful enough. Not saying it's bad, it just doesn't have enough emotions in it I suppose. You're telling us about how another poem views the narrator as perfect, yet the narrator doesn't feel so. What you're not telling us is: Why. Why isn't the narrator perfect. You tell us, she's a shattered piece of ornament. What you don't tell us, is, why?
So to sum it up, I think that you need to put emotion in it and also tells us a back story to it. If you put it in, the poem would have so much more meaning.
That's all. Hope it helps!
I really liked this and I hope you continue to do poetry you really are good at it!!! Keep up the good work and Happy Writing. I couldn't find anything at all wrong with this other than what was pointed out so I can't add anything new so good job. Best of wishes and Happy review day!!! Until laters!!!
Soulkana<3
Heya Reality, Gsp here, and I'll be your reviewer today!
This is a very nice poem, I like the meaning and message behind it, but I did notice a couple of things.
I like this part, but the second line is a lot shorter than the rest of the poem. I know what you were trying to put across, but I would make it longer if possible.
That last line is great, I love it.
Other than that, this is a great poem with a great message. Keep up the good work!
~Gsp.
Hello! This is a great poem! I really like this poem! I like the imagery in the poem and your vocabulary. The poem's imagery is visually interesting and your vocabulary is pretty vivid. For example,"I'm not a pristine glass image splayed with color and adornments./ I'm a piece of shattered glass, plain, and forever broken.", this shows how the poem's imagery is visually interesting. An example of your vivid vocabulary is "Yet you see greatness, extravagance, perfection./ How is your perception of me so warped?" These lines show your vivid vocabulary.
I really like how the speaker questions whether the people who put the speaker on a pedestal have a warped perception of her or if her outlook is distorted. That's really good! Although, I think you should imply why people put the speaker on a pedestal and imply why she is broken because it would give the reader more insight as to the speaker's life/ personality and it would strengthen the message in the poem.
The poem, as a whole, is great. I think you should keep writing poetry. You'll get better with practice and with people's help. Personally, I can relate to this poem. It just speaks volumes to me.