Published November 27, 2012
"Mom! Can I get this?" A little girl ran over to her mother with a pink, transparent recorder. I smiled at the little girl, maybe she'll become a professional musician one day, you can never know for sure! That's why I loved my dad's music store so much, it was a place where all different people could come together and share their passion for music. I happily helped the girl at the store counter as she proudly blew into her new recorder. Her mother said the famous, "What do you say?" line, and the little girl turned to me. "Thank you," she looked down at my name tag, "Elle." I smiled at her and waved goodbye as she twirled out the door. She was the last customer of the day, and it was time to close up shop, my favorite part.
I'm not saying it's my favorite part because I'm sick of working by then, it's because I get to do anything I want at the shop. Of course, Dad always checks on me while working in the storage room, but I love tinkering with all of the instruments. I ran up the stairs to the new arrivals room, where I found a cream-colored baby grand piano surrounded by a tuba, upright bass, and a sparkling silver saxophone. I sat down at the piano, and as soon as I started playing, I couldn't stop. The baby grand had the best sound I ever heard, clear and crisp, but with a dreamy hint to it. Each key seemed to bring me further and further into this black hole of music, one that I usually have a hard time escaping. I decided to play "Butterfly Waltz" a song that Dad would put me to sleep with, and it really works. Soon, I was making myself tired. It couldn't hurt if I just rested for a second on the bench in the corner of the room, right?
Twelve midnight, at least that's what my watch read. What? That couldn't be right, I had only rested my eyes for a few minutes. I picked myself up and looked around the rooms dark red walls to make sure that nothing had happened when I was sleeping. It looked fine except for a suspicious little door that I hadn't noticed before. I opened it up, but nothing seemed to be in there, just a gray wall. I shrugged and decided that it was way too late to stay here anymore, but then I heard footsteps.
"Elle! How are you doing, darling?"
"I haven't seen you in a long time!"
"Hey, Elle!"
A parade of people who looked like they were from another century paraded into the room. Why do these people know me? Who are they? I thought. The men were wearing top hats and suits and had canes. The women wore long dresses and fancy hats and had gloves. Each of them picked up an instrument, as if it was there own, and began tuning it. I was completely baffled, but enchanted at the same time.
Suddenly, a group of flute players began playing a slow, beautiful song. Playing along with them, were cello players, a classical guitar player, and violinists. One of the cello players motioned with his bow for me to play the piano. I almost floated to the piano, and I immediately began playing this song that I didn't know. It was like I was sitting on my own little cloud of symphonic sounds. Then, the clarinets joined in.
The clarinets picked up the tempo along with a group of trumpets, trombones, and an upright bass. Big band music! I love that type of music, with its fun, booming brass. The band began playing "The Entertainer", and I knew the song by heart. My fingers effortlessly flew over the keys, while the tuba boomed in the back. Each instrument seemed to be telling a joke or laughing, and the musicians seemed equally upbeat.
As the song wound down to an end, a woman in a long, silver dress and white gloves picked up the matching silver saxophone and changed the song into a smooth jazz ballad. Every instrument in the room began adding to the ballad, and I stopped playing to listen. Every instrument had something beautiful to add, and every person played their instrument absolutely flawlessly. As everything in front of me slowly became blurred, all of the musicians waved goodbye to me as the instruments shattered before my eyes.
"Aaah!" I shouted as my dad shook me awake. It was all a dream. How could all of that be just a dream?
"Honey, what happened? It's seven o'clock," Dad said looking at me concerned.
"Oh, I just was really tired after work, sorry," I told him.
"Okay, I'm going to just unpack the last of the instruments, and we'll go home," Dad said.
I nodded and stood up to stretch as he left the room. Looking down I saw the silver saxophone leaning against the piano and smiled. Right next to the saxophone, I noticed a pair of white gloves.
"Are you ready, Elle?" Dad asked from the bottom of the staircase.
"Yeah, coming Dad!" I shouted remembering to take the white gloves with me.
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Very eerie to me. The plot was hard to understand at first, but I got it toward the end. I can see a lot of work into this peice, love. Keep it up
Nice attempt but I could not understand the plot. You started off with a child and a recorder and it seemed like the story had something to do with the child. Then you went into saying why you liked the shop. Then you floated to a portion where you play a song along with a band that you know by heart. But what was the message? Where was the story? I would appreciate your ability to move from one topic to the other so effortlessly. Your narration was good. You flew through the story but the plot gave it away. The way you ended it caught my attention-it was indeed a nice way to end but then the middle of the story didn't have much to offer. Overall, the start was good and so was the end but you should consider working the middle. I do not know if you are a regular writer but if you aren't then I would say job well done. But if you are then please rethink your plot the next time because as you see, the narration and style of writing alone cannot save a piece. All the very best. Cheers!