Published January 8, 2009
how do you measure love?
maybe with how much love you feel
or maybe how many times
you realize it is real...
do you measure it in inches?
can you measure it in pounds?
or maybe in days, between now,
and when it was found...
perhaps you measure it in heartbeats
though if your love is true
your heart will beat much faster
then loveless peoples do
maybe you measure it in minutes
though if your love should die
the minutes will continue
and leave you all alone to cry.
so maybe it's measured in chapters..
for they must sometime end
and any thing could happen,
you can marry your best friend
and when the chapters over,
the love it contained is threw
but do not let that upset you,
for there's always chapter two
so if this questions flying
through your mind like and aimless bird
know that life's a story book,
the answer's in the words.
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"leave you all alone"- cut to "leave you alone"... it sticks with your original rhythm... I haven't counted syllables but either way it feels better. And "love contained is threw" should be "love contained is through"... but other than that you've got a weird conclusion going there... "the answer's in the words"???? With your whole continuing book metaphor are you saying what defines us is what we say? No point to that last stanza at all for me... unless someone can explain.
Great rhyme.
It was off in a few stanzas though. The grammar mistakes have already been pointed out so there's no need to reiterate. Hmm... I really liked this poem. Nice message, great words and spot-on rhyming. It rather reminded me of the song seasons of love.
it was really good, i loved it! keep writing
oh nd there were a few errors that i caught,here....
through your mind like and aimless bird ( and should be an)
the love it contained is threw ( i don't think u used the right through, but i dont know)
I usually don't like love poems, but I do like this one!
I agree that in some of your lines, the rhythm is off. May I suggest rewrites for the first 2 stanzas that I think would flow better?
how do you measure love?
maybe with how much you feel
or maybe how many times you stop
and realize it is real
do you measure it in inches?
can you measure it in pounds?
or maybe in the span of days
that has passed since it was found.
I love the stanza about heartbeats. "Peoples" should have an apostrophe on the end to show possession.
I felt the stanza about marrying your best friend was a bit out of place. It didn't seem to follow the natural progression of the poem.
In the second to last stanza, "chapters" should be chapter's and "threw" should be through, I think. And in the last stanza, "questions" should be question's.
I like the way the last stanza wraps things up.
Well done.
rachel
I'm not a poet, nor do I read poetry, but I really do like the way you presented this! A couple of the lines felt a little bit off, such as, "and leave you all alone to cry." I don't feel like the all belonged in there. That's really the only nitpick I found. Your rhyming wasn't forced and your content was awesome! Good job!