Thoughts admist midnight terrors.

Wow, that was amazing. I love your layout, it was a very good rhyming scheme. Your conventions were good too. And your word choice was also very well incorporated.
What really hooked me though, was the feeling in this poem. It was something like... what's the word for it... Peaceful hopelessness? I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but it's the only way I could really describe it.
My favorite part:

Efforts failed
My work’s now done.
Hope has fled
My spirit’s gone.
So let me sleep, under the sun.

Time has passed
And life’s a waste
Let me pass,
Sweet I’ll death taste.
Cold tears leave, my ill-gone face.

Roses gather
Round my corpse,
Petals tattered,
Lonely props.
Not in rivers, But in drops.

I loved it all, keep it up!

w&w

Hello mono! I'm Storm to review your poem!
First of all, let me say I really like this. It has a haunting sort of feeling to this, like you hollowed out the really creepy feel the words kind of have and gave it a new meaning.
I don't know, that's kind of hard to understand...
Anyways, I really like your rhyme scheme and spacing, but the commas in the middle of the last line of every stanza seem out of place because a pause is not really necessary in any of them. Well, maybe you could get away with it in the last stanza.
I think you should rearrange commas in the first stanza so it reads:

"Efforts failed,
My work’s now done.
Hope has fled,
My spirit’s gone.
So let me sleep under the sun."

The second stanza is a bit confusing as well. I would change it so it reads more like this.

"Time has passed,
And life’s a waste.
Let me pass,
Sweet death I’ll taste.
Cold tears leave my ill-gone face."

I also really don't like the word ill-gone. It seems to disrupt the flow.
My only nit-pick for the last stanza is "corpse" doesn't fit your rhyme scheme, but I wouldn't worry too much about that, it works fine anyways.
Well, this is a really nice poem regardless, so thanks for posting!
--eyeofthestorm

Very uniaue and I like the idea of a corpse, seeing as it's like it's the corpse that's talking and I also like the idea of the petals being in drops. However
"Time has passed
And life’s a waste
Let me pass,
Sweet I’ll death taste.
Cold tears leave, my ill-gone face."
If you read that stanza, it makes absolutely no sense, the line "Sweet I'll death taste," makes no sense at all. Perhaps rearrange the words. Overall, it was a wonderful poem.