Verse 1:
I fell
Tripped over my own feet
I'm lost
And there's no hope of finding me
These days
I'm begging for things I need.
Is it my fault
I wear my heart on my sleeve?
Chorus:
I'm not asking you to love me.
I just want you to forgive
My selfish idiocy.
I can't get you to believe me
When I say, "I'm sorry."
I can't believe I'm sorry.
Verse 2:
Sometimes
Love can make you bleed.
You're gonna find that out eventually.
And I been thinking about
Everything that I could've done.
It doesn't help that
I have said goodbye to everyone
But you,
Hey, you, there,
Sitting next to me,
Yeah, we'll be friends eventually.
And hey, I'm sorry,
But it's not my fault
My stupid heart
Is sewn up on my sleeve.
Chorus 2x:
I'm not asking you to love me.
I just want you to forgive
My selfish idiocy.
I can't get you to believe me
When I say, "I'm sorry."
I can't believe I'm sorry.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
That was actually great! Awesome in fact! I enjoyed reading the words.....You form a verse really well. Good job!
I was a bit dissapointed reading this and was about to say "I'm sorry for reading this" as a little joke on your title. Anyway, the reason why I was disappointed in it because I really want to know what you did that warrants forgiveness. So when I read that it's not finished yet that gave me a little hope....but as it stands now it comes off very vague and doesn't make me feel anything but dissappointment.
I really enjoyed the chorus. Especially the fourth and fifth line in the chorus. Overall it's an excellent work. Nothing to add really other than hoping that it will become a popular song if it gets published. Good luck!
I like it! I can hear the music that would go with it. How many times would the chorus repeat? Is this the whole song? If not I hope that you'd keep me informed as to when you write more of it. Or when you write another song.