z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Outside the Window

by mmccarl3


The sun has gone to bed, and the stars have come out to play. They shine as they create thoughts of wonder. Wonder for what else is out there. Wonder for who we would be if we made that one simple change. Wonder for what would happen if the sun were not to return in the morning.

What would it be then?

What would it impact?

What would it mean for the future?

Is it the end?

Or is it the beginning?

It would only cause chaos and panic, but should it rather produce hope and joy? If the sun were to never come back, we would be graced with the night sky for eternity.

The darkness is where to best things and the worst things meet. We fall in love laying in bed with those we care for the most. We explore the city in the street lights with friends and drinks in our hands. We plan for the day to come, and dream about how it could be better than the one before. As we lay in bed holding each other tight, we begin to argue over mundane things. We fall out of love with every attack and harmful word spoken. As we wander through the neon lit town, we make one wrong turn and find ourselves face to face with strangers that could prevent us from having a tomorrow. As we plan for the day to follow, we think of everything that can go wrong, and send ourselves further into a depressive mood. This causes us to question if it is worth it to continue to the next day. Do we experience our greatest or most dreadful memories when the sun sets?

What would become of the world if everyone made the choice to live every day as if it were their last?

Would each day be filled with joy and laughter?

Would there be destruction and hate?

If the sun did not shine in the morning, we would be forced to embrace a new way of life. We would need to decide how to continue. We would have to decide between falling in or out of love. We must make the choice to either be the adventurous friends or the strangers. We would need to determine whether or not tomorrow is a day we want to be a part of.

The choices seem clear, however, these same queries still present themselves in the daylight. The sun, or the lack thereof, does not change who we are as people. It only changes what we see and how we perceive.

Outside the window there is a world full of decisions to be made. Every choice made impacts every event to occur. It is simple and plain.

Is tomorrow the end or the beginning?

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Wed Nov 25, 2020 9:55 pm
Plume wrote a review...



Hey! Plume here, with a review!!

I really love this short piece you've created. It has some *impeccable* imagery, and that last line is just... whoa.

One thing I really loved was the longer paragraph in the middle. Your structure and imagery was just.. phenomenal. I loved how it started on a high note, celebrating the fluidity and revel of the darkness, and then transitioned, turning the examples in the first half more sour and sad. It was very masterful. You showed us both sides, and kept with the theme you perpetuate throughout the work of showing two sides to something, with a sort of "best of times, worst of times" vibe to it. This was probably my favorite part of the piece.

I also really like the concept of this piece. It explores the world if the sun wouldn't come up, treating the sun like a "reset" button. I never realized how much I relied on the sun, and how much it represents the dawning of a new day, but after reading this, I realized that it is very much a way of starting over.

I agree with a lot of the critiques the other reviewer had as well, so I won't reiterate them.

The one thing I thought was a bit off was the "depressive mood." It felt a tad out of place, and kind of... clinical, if that makes sense. You have this lovely, flowing paragraph before it, and I feel like you could put a better word there, like "sadness" or "depression" or "desolation."

Also, I was curious as to why you titled your piece the way you did. As far as I could see, there were no mentions of windows. I'm too lazy to think of the symbolism that could possibly be involved, but I really do want to know why it's called "Outside the Window."

Overall: I really loved this piece, especially that middle bit. Your writing reminds me of mine a few years ago, and it was super great to read!! Keep on writing!!



Random avatar
mmccarl3 says...


Thank you so much for the review! I was particularly worried the structure of my piece would be a bit out of sorts, so it's very reassuring that you were able to follow. When reviewing the piece and I read the depressive mood line, I too thought it didn't quite fit the piece, but for some reason the right words were not coming to me even though it was as simple as your suggestions.

Regarding the title, that was the name of the writing prompt I based the piece on. The description was about what you see when you look out the window at the moment you are writing. When I looked out the window it was pitch black, but bright with stars. It made me think of many sleepless nights spent contemplating life. I could not think of a proper title that could capture the essence of the piece, but since I had the line, "Outside the Window," I just decided to keep it.

Again, thank you so much for your kind words, it was very encouraging! I will be sure to implement your suggestion.



Plume says...


Oh, that's cool (about the title)! It makes sense. I'm glad you were able to find some helpful things in my review.




Well, if I can't get this chapter to work....at least I will have exercised my fingers.
— Kaia