Published December 16, 2011
Episode 1 - "The Day I Became a Shinigami"
The Hollow roars, I raise my blade,
and debt to my family is repaid.
Rukia Kuchiki pierced my heart,
and my job as a Soul Reaper did start.
I wasn't so sure I wanted to be this,
but having Hollows in the world is amiss.
So Soul Reapers I'm going to have to trust,
and fulfill my destiny I must!
Episode 18 - "Reclaim! The power of the Shinigami!"
I have ten days to heal and train.
Urahara suddenly cut my chain.
The rocky landscape is my friend,
A friendship with Rukia I have to mend.
Salvation lies at the bottom of a pit.
Ten days to become powerful and fit.
Episode 19 - "Ichigo Becomes a Hollow!"
A Hollow!
How can I be?
Zangetsu please help me!
I need my sword to set me free.
My spirit's trapped in a falling city.
My body's transforming into something unpretty.
The last encroachment I almost missed.
Ururu and Jinta warned me of this.
The mask of stone surrounds my face.
I need to find Zangetsu to get out of this place!
This was just a bit of fun. I was planning on making a poem for every episode but I'm not going to do that now (especially seeing as how there are more than 200 episodes!). Though these were just some silly poems I wrote for fun, I would still appreciate thoughts on how to make them better! Thank-you!
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Wow, that is an awesome piece. Five start rating.
I watch Bleach and this is like Ichigo's beginning in a short poem.
Really good.
Bleach poetry. =D
The first thing that springs to attention is the opening of "19." The very short lines really don't do the weight of the situation justice, and they seem almost perfunctory, as if you needed a way to quickly exposit what was going on without worrying about it too much. My suggestion: totally rework that one piece (hehe..) out of its current quirky-fun form into a terribly serious bit. Mind, it shouldn't be angsty, not too much - that wouldn't suit Ichigo at that point. The other poems can stay relatively upbeat, as they are, what with Cocky Shounen Protagonist Syndrome.
I like the rhyming initially, but I think if you ever continue the series you should gradually remove it to mark the shift to more grave times and dire consequences. Perhaps work in parts of the various kido incantations, to both call back to the rhyme of times past, and imply a development (or even shift) in your protagonist.
Overall, nice work, keep writing! =]
I have to say I'd never thought I'd find a poem about Bleach on this site
First of all, congratulations, it is really really good especially the episode 19 part. Ichigo's emotion was well portrayed there. I have to say though I'm not sure I like 'Uhara cut my chain' maybe because it is a much shorter sentence then the rest of the verse and it doesn't flow as much. Maybe if you included an adjective it might flow better. But that's just me personally, otherwise it was awesome (sorry for the rambling on!)