ugly is ugly

Hi Mistie! Juniparre here,

All I can think of as I read this poem is why? Why is ugly beautiful, and why is despair here, and why is truth hitting me like it wants to take things away from me?

I have the inference in my head that you want to turn the tables and show us that people who believe they're ugly are often more beautiful than the ones who flaunt their outward beauty, but there isn;t much in the poem here to support this idea. Instead, you have a bunch of cryptic ideas that are pretty cool, but don't fit. How is moaning permeating the air contributing to your poem?

Another thing I noticed that held your poem from being the very best (like no one ever was!) was the fact that it ended just about every line with a full stop-- there was no connectivity between the lines, and there needs to be, dearie! You need to connect all of these ideas and let us understand how these ideas support one another.

Hope that helped. Happy review day!

June

The subject of the poem is terrific. It's a bold, honest and rather profound concept about the ideas of "ugly" versus those of "beautiful"-- and I really like it. The lack of capital letters in the poem initially looked a bit childish to me, but I sort of enjoy it now that I see the poem as a whole.
I do however have a few complaints about this work. I feel like it could do without the tautologies. They make a lovely border around each stanza, but they sort of take away from the speech as a whole.

My favorite part of the poem was the line that read "sweet swells of deep despair." It stuck out to me the most. The alliteration really jumped
out at me and imprinted me.

My least favorite part was the
"you were on a nice run.
but now hell has truly begun."
bit.
I feel like simply rhyming the last words in lines doesn't really leave a full, hardy effect. It seems a little bit scholastic and simple.

Overall, this was a good piece. The concept was great, the execution was fair and the poem as a whole was definitely worth the read.

It was very interesting! I like your simplistic approach to convey a very strong and important message. Indeed, 'ugly is beautiful', and 'beautiful is ugly'.
I’ve made some changes; the words in the brackets [] are what I’ve added, or modified.

[U]gly is beautiful.
[The] sweet swells of deep despair
moan[ed,] permeating the air.
[T]hese feelings we have to share.

[U]gly is ugly.

[The] truth hits you like a thief.
[Y]ou were on a nice run [,]
but now hell has truly begun.

[A] soft caress of an embrace [,]
warm blue eyes on a pretty face[,]
[is an] absorption [,]
distraction.

Then, you can have a single line verse.

[Beautiful is beautiful].

This single line adds a punchy effect, grabbing your reader's immediate attention.

[T]ry to inhale all you can take.
[B]ecause [,] horror is what plainness makes.

Please note, you aren't obligated to follow the suggestions I’ve given. If you think it flows well, you can go ahead and use it. But, if you'd like to keep it as it is, by all means do. It’s your work after all.
Well done, and keep it up!

I like it, it is very unique! i like how it compares beauty with ugliness. why did you write it is it because you think of ugliness like that or beauty?I also agree with you on how ugly is beautiful.

I like the contrast and comparison going on between beautiful and ugly. Your poem seems to be really simple ye the message is shown to be very meaningful and powerful. I also like some of the couplets you have wrote, it really goes well with the rhyming scheme as well. I also agree with you on how ugly is beautiful. I feel like everything is ugly and beautiful as in for us, we all have a ugly and beautiful side to us. Good job! I look forward on reading more from you!

-Chinkstuhhh

I liked this but seemed a bit harsh for the truth but this poetry of yours is really interesting and i have took an interest in it so i plan to look at your other ones but your poetry is true though ugly is ugly and beautiful is beautiful and ugly is beautiful and beautiful is ugly i guess that's what caught my attention the most and made it more interesting to me and it is plainness sometimes but not all the time i will go continue to read your poems! and sorry for the HUGE review