Insanity Suffers

by mistielovesyou

  • Short Story
  • Fantasy · Realistic

Published May 22, 2012

She stood in the doorway, staring down at his peaceful body. Leaning against the door jam, she smiled, recalling fond memories of love. He used to be her anchor and her peace.
But he knew he’d done it.
He smile in his sleep. After all her raging nightmares and insomnia his slumber seemed unfair to her! In all her grief after her son’s death, she never thought to why Billy always seemed so at peace. Why Billy barely shed a tear after the murder.
She was a naive women, and she knew it.
She ran toward the bed with the hammer raised. She smiled, holding back sobs of desperation.
She rammed the hammer, down, into his shoulder. Not his head!! Not an easy death, for the one who killed the one she loved.
He cried out, awaken. “Meredith!” He screamed. “Stop this! What are you-”
Another sick blow to his stomach, and he was silenced.
“Be quiet you dirty villain. You despicable human being.” She said. She wished she could laugh at this, be happy that he was being silenced forever. But in the back of her mind, she couldn’t escape the guilt. It angered her even more.
Smack! A heavy blow to his thighs. He whimpered as his bones shattered and broke. He struggled to get up...
She screamed, “Down, villain!” She smacked him in the neck. He fell back immediately, and lay limp.
She was disappointed. He wasn’t supposed to die so easily! She shook him, “Billy. Billy wake up.” She sighed when he didn’t respond.
“What am I supposed to do with you now?”, she said aloud.
Meredith dropped the hammer on the floor, and left the room for the hallway. Grief overcame her, and she was remembering her son. Her dear, perfect son.
She shook herself out of the memory. “Get it together, Meredith. What are you going to do with the body?” She walked out towards the kitchen. She needed something to wrap Billy’s body in-
Her thoughts were interrupted by a giggle  from the living room.
Meredith froze. “Oh no..” She walked slowly to the living room from the kitchen. Cautious, she moved her head around the corner.
“Oh God..” She whipped herself back behind the wall, her head out of the living room. “I’m seeing things.”
When she popped her head back in the living room, the baby raised his hands and clapped, beckoning to her. His chubby body moved up and down, and he giggled. He thought they were playing a game of peek-a-boo.
“No. This can’t be happening. This is a dream. Just a dream. Caleb?” She called to the child.
Meredith cried out when the child began to walk toward her. She backed away, while Caleb struggled to move forward.

___


Mrs. Gere next door, had heard enough. She got up out of her armchair and walked (waddled, basically) to the door. She went out into the cold hallway, and went to the door next to hers.
She knocked twice.
“Excuse me? Is something going on in there? I hear screaming.” Her frail voice went through the door, and she hoped the neighbors could hear her. She was a typically nosy neighbor (having no real life of her own), but she’d never heard screaming before. She had to investigate.
Meredith paused. Should she answer? What if the person wanted to go upstairs, and they’d see the body? But if she didn’t answer and they’d heard screaming, they might call the police. And the police would definitely try to go through her apartment, when they saw how nervous she was.
She looked toward Caleb, and his slow procession over to her. If this was just a dream, nothing that bad would happen, right? She went over to the door and opened it.
Mrs. Gere was just raising her hand to knock again when Meredith answered. Instead she smiled warily at Meredith and said, “Is everything all right?”
“Uh everything’s fine.” She cleared her throat, trying to put her voice at a normal level. “I was just playing around with my baby.” She heard Caleb fall on his bottom, and begin to cry. She ignored this at first, trying to concentrate on looking innocent.
“So that’s your baby that was screaming?” Mrs. Gere said. She was sure she’d heard an adult male, but she her hearing was old. Maybe she was making things up in her head.
“Um yes. Yes! Just my baby.” Meredith shifted so she blocked the old women’s view to her apartment. She knew Mrs. Gere couldn’t see upstairs, but she was paranoid.
“Well, you’d better get to that baby. It’s screaming again. Have a nice night.” Mrs Gere waved and waddled back to her own apartment.
Meredith shut the door, relieved. She rushed back to Caleb and picked him up, consoling him. She thought it was dream, so she could’ve just ignored him and went on her business. But she couldn’t help herself.
His screaming went on for hours. No matter how she held him, no matter what she did or said, he wouldn't stop. She’d finally had enough when she placed him on the couch and moved into the kitchen to clean up the mess she’d made.
Initially, she hadn’t wanted to shoot Billy. But when she’d found the gun hidden in a cupboard under the sink, she began to wonder whether or not Billy was really dead. Perhaps he was just unconscious?
“Hey, Meredith. Did you take out the trash yet?”, Billy asked. He’d come downstairs with a beer in his hand, speaking to Meredith nonchalantly. He walked perfectly, and easily took a sip of the beer.
She screamed, and fired two shots before she could think about what she was doing. She threw the gun to the floor, and covered her mouth, bursting into tears. Billy fell to his back, and the babies cries drew even louder. Several loud knocks sounded on the door, this time an adult male yelling,
“What’s going on in there?! We’re calling the police, is everything all right?! Put the gun down, everything’s fine.” Meredith could hear people whispering behind him, scolding him.
She panicked. She thought she was insane. She thought she was in some type of dream, she swears.
She picked up the gun, bracing herself. Tears streaming down her face, with one hand picking up the baby from the couch and pushing it to the floor. She fired one shot to the baby’s head, and everything went quiet.
“Oh no, oh no oh no oh no..” The man outside the door said. “Oh God, when are the police coming?!”, he shouted. He began banging on the door.
Meredith dropped the gun on the floor, next to the child. She walked cautiously, trying to block out all sounds. She had already forgotten about her dead family. She walked to the kitchen window, and opened it slowly. She saw the police cars and the red and blue sirens, and she heard a police officer telling her to put her hands up. Meredith struggled, trying to climb out of the window.
Right before she was about to jump, police came bursting through her door. She panicked, her mind stuck between jumping or giving in. The police came to her kitchen quickly, and grabbed her before she could make a decision.
One police officer began reciting her rights, and another pushed her to the ground and began handcuffing her. She didn’t struggle or fight back. She was silent throughout the whole arrest. Her eyes were blank and dazed, and in the back of her mind she was wondering when this dream would be over.
Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
xMidnightWriterx
Review
xMidnightWriterx wrote a review Review · Jun 27, 2012

Well, I have to say that I think your title for this fits very well! Meredith seems thoroughly insane.

Okay, the first part was going really smoothly. I definitly didn't see Meredith killing Billy coming along, but that made it even better to be honest! It was like a normal story, or even a prologue because it made me want answer to so many questions.

- '"What am I supposed to do with you now?”, she said aloud.' You don't need to say 'aloud', because it's obvious that she is saying aloud. If she was thinking it you would write it in italics.

Then things start to get a little odd. Where did the baby come from? But you kind of justify this by saying it could be a dream, so everything is alright.

- 'She got up out of her armchair and walked (waddled, basically) to the door.' You don't need the bit in brackets, you can just say 'waddled' instead of 'walked'.

The rest of it was down right bizarre! Suddenly Billy is alive and well (unitl she shoots him) and Meredith is getting crazier and crazier. If this is just a piece of creative writing or a random drabble then it really captures insanity very very well. However, if this is the start or even part of a story it's a little confusing and needs to be tidied up around the edges, that's all.

Hope this review was helpful, Midnight x

User avatar
ForsakenAngel
Review
ForsakenAngel wrote a review Review · Jun 24, 2012

Hi there, I'm here to review!
Alright, so I'll be honest, a lot of this confused me, but I think I got the basic idea for the story down. I agree with geineapiggirl, you did well with the insanity and there were quite a few grammatical errors. The switching tense part bugs me, but it's one of my pet peeves, though it is a common mistake in writers, especially young ones. I'll admit I do the same thing, but I catch myself when I reread over my work. I know a lot of people don't preread before they post, and that's perfectly fine, but it also leaves it open for mistakes that the writer had no idea about. Most of those mistakes are the simple ones like I've seen here.
Overall you did do a really good job, though. I do like this, but it was a little confusing. This idea would make a really great novel, if you had the time and patience to write it. You could start out with the murder of her son and move from there. You could use greater detail and things might not be so confusing. But that's your choice to make :) I thought it was good, and if you do decide to make this into a novel, please let me know! I'd be more than happy to review it. Also, I'll be reading more of your work, so if you have anything in particular you need me to look at, PM me a link and I'll take a look! Until then, keep up the good writing...

And stay insane, all of the best writers are c:

--ForsakenAngel

User avatar
guineapiggirl
Review
guineapiggirl wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2012

What?
Confused?
So, I thought you portrayed the insanity quite well. There were a few grammatical errors and places where I think you switched tense, so have a really good look through at that.
Well done though.



These were autumn mornings, the time of year when kings of old went forth to conquest; and I, never stirring from my little corner in Calcutta, would let my mind wander over the whole world.
— Rabindranath Tagore, The Cabuliwallah