Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Take care, dear"mom says as she is putting on her shoes. & dad adds, "I lock the door for more safety, sweetie, bye” & they go. I love the times that I’m alone at home. I’ve always loved it. When I’m alone I can do everything. There are no more orders to do. I can watch movies with loud sound, I can listen to the music with a terribly annoying sound, I can litter where ever I want. As I ‘m thinking of these sweet things which I’m planning to do, the phone rings…

"I left my purse behind, put it in the elevator” "OK, mom, bye" I find the purse on the couch, going toward the door. The door doesn’t open. What’s wrong with it? Oh I remember that dad’s locked it. Finding my own keys takes a while, mom calls again, I don’t pick up the phone I know what she wants. I go to stairs the lights are all off. It’s winter so when my feet touch the floor of outdoor a freezing cold comes to my bones. The red light of the elevator shows "G". I press the button, waiting for it to come up. It comes I put the purse in it and send it down. The phone rings again. I get in the home. Lock up the door and leave the keys on the door.my party is going to start. The phone rings. I pick it up this time saying" I put it in the elevator, mom" I hear a baby laughing. Who is it? Wait! I hear a man laughing. "Hello?" no answer. It might be a child playing with a cell. Dialing a wrong number or something. It has to be. Because if it doesn’t so who is it? I hang it up, trying not to think about it. These things happen a million times. It’s not so strange. I run toward my first target. Kitchen! Then…the electricity goes off. I stop in my way, feeling that freezing cold again. Should I be frightened now? No it’s nothing of course. I go to my room, find the flashlight of mine and press its button hoping that the battery’s ok. Fortunately it works; a childish happiness comes to me. What a relief! I want to call mom and dad but I don’t want to make them worry for nothing. Wait a minute! I hear something! What is it? A sound of moving something little… it’s the keys. The keys which I put them on the door. They are shaking as well as the door. Oh God what the hell it is? I see rays creeping from beyond the door. Someone is out there. I hear steps. Suddenly something hits the door hard. But I feel warmth, unusual warmth. It’s coming up from my feet, something liquid. I draw the beam of the flashlight toward the floor. It’s red. It’s hot. And here something inside me makes me shout “it’s blood" …

Hello, misschavoshi! I am here to review your horror story! So, let's begin... Now, I am not one for reviewing horror, so excuse me if this is not the best review. From what I we have been told within the first paragraph, I see that this MC has a pretty good life. The reader doesn't suspect anything, it feels like a normal day for that character.

Below, I am going to take it apart. Then I will explain my thoughts on it! Let's go!

"Take care, dear"mom says as she is putting on her shoes. & dad adds,"I lock the door for more safety, sweetie, bye”

Hello misschavshi!

This is so cool! It's kind of creepy, but the kind that makes you want to read more, maybe even laugh at your friends pale faces after telling it around a campfire. I was thinking though, wouldn't it be an extremely bad idea to send a purse down in the elevator with no one there to just watch it? It could get stolen; quite easily. The "To be continued" gives it an ominous feel. I keep wondering if the blood is really real, or if for some reason it's an illusion. I also keep wondering what the "memorizer" is. Even the name gives me the creeps. I like creepy books, I'm almost never allowed to read them, making them twice as thrilling when I do.

~Kelpies.