Please read and review :)
Let me know what you liked, didn't like, if you would read more, etc...
Thanks!
The forest was dark and cool. The trees formed a protective green canopy over Annie. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the mist on her flushed face. The damp, cold air cleansed her of the dirt and sweat that covered her body. Her long dark hair swirled around her shoulders in the light breeze. A low sigh blew from her throat as she reveled in being alone.
The sound of hoof beats abruptly pulled Annie from her reverie and caused her blue eyes to flash open. She swore under her breath and sprinted deeper into the dark depths of the forest.
Her leather boots made little more than a whisper as they hit the grass. She ghosted amongst the trees, moving quickly and quietly. Darting from shadow to shadow, she made her way to the most ancient part of the forest. The trees were thick and very tall. As her pursuers grew closer, Annie narrowed her eyes and leapt high – higher than any human – onto a tree. She began to climb furiously, eager to distance herself from her trackers.
She climbed nimbly from limb to limb, higher and higher amongst the branches. When she was at least a hundred feet in the air, she stopped and looked down.
There was a team of twenty horses with fully armed warriors on their backs riding into the clearing. The flags of Annie’s biggest enemy were flying high and snapping in the breeze. As the troop stopped, Annie closed her eyes and concentrated hard, listening closely.
~~~
“Halt!” James called as he pulled his horse to a stop. He leapt off of his horse and scanned the trees.
“Spread out,” he ordered. “I know she’s here somewhere.”
As his men began to search, James removed his helmet and knelt down to examine the dirt. A brown curl fell into his eyes as he tried to find Annie’s invisible trail.
How the hell does she run so fast without leaving a trail? James thought. There’s not so much as a footprint.
He scanned the clearing closely, noticing a rumpled clump of ferns growing at the base of one of the biggest trees. Straightening from his crouch, he headed towards the tree.
~~~
From above, Annie watched James walk towards her tree.
Damn, Annie thought to herself. I should have jumped higher. I didn’t realize he was so tall.
She held her breath and waited for him to find the scuff marks her leather boots left on the tree.
~~~
James sauntered over to the tree and examined the bark. He smirked as he saw the boot scuffs on the bark around chest level.
James stepped back and looked up into the tree branches.
“Annie, love,” he called. “Do you mind coming down here for a moment?”
Annie’s head peered over the edge of the branch, her dark hair falling into her face.
“You know, James, I’m actually pretty good up here. But thanks for asking.”
“Come on, darlin’. I just want to talk.”
“I’m sure,” Annie replied sarcastically. “I always bring twenty armed guards to my casual conversations.”
“These are dangerous times,” James said. “Just come down a bit so I don’t have to yell.”
“James, you know as well as I do that your archers will shoot me down as soon as I’m in range.”
“Annie, you have my word that you won’t be hurt.” James promised, with a sincere look on his face.
“Why don’t you come up here instead?” Annie suggested.
James sighed and took a few large steps back from the tree trunk. With a resigned look on his face, he got a running start and leapt high onto the tree where he began to climb, faster than Annie had before him.
Annie scooted out on her branch to make room for James. She grasped the limb tightly with her legs as James thumped down beside her.
“Gently, James,” Annie scolded. “You’re going to knock us off.”
“Do you ever relax, Annie?” James asked in an exasperated tone.
“It’s kind of hard to relax when you’ve been chased all across the land. You know we’re not going to give up. The Alliance will bring Addabon down. We could really use your help, James.”
“Are you hungry?” James asked. “I find that it’s hard to discuss business on an empty stomach.”
Annie stared at him.
“Seriously? Abbadon is slaughtering people and you are asking me if I want a snack?”
“Yes,” James said. “You’re obviously not going anywhere and I’m hungry so why not? Besides, I bet it’s been a long time since you’ve eaten.”
“I know how to hunt, James,” Annie said with a pointed glance at her bow and quiver hanging from a nearby branch.
“I am aware of that, Annie but how long has it been since you’ve had freshly baked bread, Clarisse’s stew, or wine?”
“Tempting, but we’re 200 feet up in a tree, in a forest that’s over a hundred miles from home.”
James clapped his hands twice and an all-white owl flew across the clearing and landed on the limb, with a burlap sack clasped firmly in his beak. James opened the sack and placed their meal out on the branch. They both began to eat vigorously. When all the food was gone, Annie leaned back against the trunk and stared at James.
“How did you do that?” Annie asked, incredulously.
“Get the food? Being a Nighthawk isn’t all bad, Annie. Abbadon gives his top Captains special abilities and gifts. Clarisse sends her love.”
“This is incredible. I haven’t been home in a while.”
“You know we can change that, Annie,” James said with a smoldering stare deep into her eyes. “Join us. You’re one of the most powerful people I know. Abbadon desperately wants you. You could be a captain with me!”
“How dare you? You expect me to forget what he did to my family and my home and just join up with him like nothing ever happened? He’s a killer, James. How can you even suggest that?! You were there! You watched him destroy our lives yet you ran out and joined his army with open arms!”
“You know I didn’t have a choice! It was join or die, Annie. Join or watch my whole family die! You would have done the same thing and you know it.”
“But I didn’t do the same thing, James. I fought! I’m still fighting! And one day, I will be able to return to my family with my head held high and Abbadon’s head on a pike. But you, you’re a traitor! You should have joined the Alliance.”
“Annie, I would have loved to join the Alliance and you know that. But I won’t do anything that will put my family in danger. Can you honestly tell me that you would be able to live with yourself if someone killed Johnny because you wouldn’t fight?”
Annie shook her head.
“It’s the same way with Lily. I will not watch my little sister die because of me.”
“James, we can protect your family. We’re protecting mine and everyone else’s. Please, trust me.”
“Annie, I’ve trusted you since we were born. But until I know for sure that they’re safe, I’m going to do everything in my power to protect them. If something happens and you find a way to protect them and get me out of the Nighthawks, leave me a message at the old place. But until then, it’s probably best if you don’t let me catch you again. If I don’t do my job, Abbadon will get suspicious. I can let you go this time but never again. I’m sorry.”
“I understand, James. I’ll do everything I can to make your family safe and get you back with us.”
“Thanks, Annie.”
James jumped down off the tree and walked over to his troops. After a few words, he mounted his horse and rode away with his men following behind him.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I really enjoyed this and I would definitely read more.
I enjoyed the descriptions and dialogue and loved that they were friends. The way you introduced the pair of them was great and you could get a great hold on their personalities right from the start.
I would have liked maybe a little more description about the colour of the place, what the soldiers wore, looked like, what Annie and James looked like but I guess you'll get to that..
Anyway, great start, so thanks for a great chapter!
hrmmmm......wow that was really good it is as good as the hunger games. i could not find fault....i wish i could say the same for mine....im constantly revising it....anyway you have a natural talent are you writing any books? if not you should....but then maybe this was an excerpt from your book...
Oops didn't realize I wasn't logged in lol
But anyway, thank you for reading! I almost cried when you said it was as good as the hunge games! I'll be continuing this story under the title "the nighthawks" if you want to read more
Apparently my first reply didn't show up...oh well! I'll definitely read some of your stuff as well!
oh my goodness i want to read more. that was great i would love for that to continue into a book. my only question is how did all of this happen.who is abbadon and why does he want annie. i would love to read more please keep writing.
Ah thank you!
I'll be posting more under the title "the nighthawks". You'll just have to keep reading to get your questions answered 
oh my goodness i want to read more. that was great i would love for that to continue into a book. my only question is how did all of this happen.who is abbadon and why does he want annie. i would love to read more please keep writing.
Wow missbookworm!
You really did a great job on this one. I would love to read on!
So basically, starting with the chase, you caught my attention. That's a really good thing. With every paragraph, or chapter, you want to start with something that's going to make the reader want to read even more. And at the end, you kind of want them to want to hear more, or wonder about what'll happen.
I feel like I needed a bit more information about James, and how he's related to Annie, or if he's related. If you continue this story, I think that would be a good thing to add more of. I didn't find any major errors because I was reading the story itself. That's good. It really grabbed my attention.
Wow! I really hope you continue this! If you do, please message me! I'm dying to hear what happens!!!!
Awesome job
KRose
I'm glad I got you hooked! That was my goal
Chapter two has a lot more info about James and his relationship with Annie. I'll be writing more under the title "the nighthawks". Thank you so much for reading and your nice, helpful review 
I really liked this! Your description, detail, and dialog was great! Don't stop writing this, you're off to a great start
Ideas for the title:
-Annie
-The Nighthawks
keep writing!
w&w
Thank you so much! I'll be posting more of this story under the title "the nighthawks". Thank you do much for the suggestion!