Published February 10, 2015
I know I’m not the only one.
There are many more like me,
Not just me.
I’m tired of trying to please.
Its not what I want,
But it is how it has to be.
People are mean,
But they are bullies.
I never knew that one of them would become my best friend.
What would the world be like with out them?
It’s not right, not right at all, but I guess that’s how I see it.
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140,496 Literary Works • 673,254 Reviews
Awesome poem!
I like how the first two-thirds of this poem seems to rhyme, but the rest just became flat. I spotted a few grammar errors, too, but you don't have to follow my evidence. Maybe I just wasn't seeing what you were trying to do with this poem.
"Its" is "It's" grammar wise.
"n0t" is not. I don't know if that's a symbol for something. If it is, please tell me.
"People are mean,/But they are bullies." I would put "and" to replace the "but." That makes more sense to me.
Otherwise, I think this poem would need more substance. Yes, it does talk about originality, but I was hoping for more emotion in this.
Haha! When I saw this, I thought immediately of Sam Smith!
same lol
me three
Hi, not trying to be mean, but you put a zero in " Its not what I want" *stiffles laugh.
Annywho, Its pretty good, ( except for the zero...) I whould like to know who, "one of them" is, and maybe elaberatate a little, ( I dont like hidden meaning poems, which is like every poem, haha) but I get the point tho, your tierd of the bullies, they are mean, I whould know... but I love it and that its your FIRST POST!!!!!!!!!!! \
its awesome!!! just no more zeros mister!!!!!!!!
Thanks and i am a girl
then no more zeros misssy!!!!
Ok, you have got the general Idea down on paper. I think you need to fix some typing and spelling errors. Also, I think this is a little short. You may want to consider lengthening it out and using better descriptive words and imagery words. Nice writing though! Some of your lines are a little too short. I believe the writing would be better if you varied the line length better.
Keep Writing!
~SPAULDS!
Thank You!!!! i will start editing it right now
no problem