My cat is crazy.
Or at least apathetic.
She watches bugs bang themselves
Against glass walls to try and escape.
She just sits there and waits for them to die.
Then she eats them.
But she still sleeps next to me.
She still licks me,
she still plays with me,
she doesn't ask for much,
and she lets me touch her.
I might just be her favorite person
even if she's not like me.
But I wouldn't know
She's crazy
and I'll never be special enough to get her.
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My crazy ass cat huh!😂 love how you start of everything and how you manage to encapsulate everything that cats are: just crazy as hell.
Well what I got from this is how subjective cruel indifference and empathy and gentleness is. It really goes to show that it really isn’t that deep and cats are just cats( woe unto bugs btw) but yeah. We should build a pyramid for your cat.
Loved It!
Hi minimeow! I was looking for something short to review and this caught my eye!
This is a really great introduction to our MC, the cat. They're lazy, and have absolutely no interest in anything. My only thing is the break between "...bang themselves/Against glass..." It interupts the flow and it's jerky.
The cat not caring about anything is reversed and now she cares about the narrator. We see this cat in a completely different light now. Her not asking for much is something so small and it's what creates this entire cat for us.
These lines are a little hard to understand, but I think I get the idea.
Overall, this is a really sweet poem about your cat and it perfectly describes how cats are and what they do. My only critiques are the final lines and the line break earlier.
Keep living and writing!
MrytleJinn
hi...
MINASAN MY NAME IS YUUKI!!!!! I do not know you, and you are new, and i might scare you away by accident. very short review sorry! i'm currently sick. but let's get into it regardless.
I LOVE POEM i love kitties and this is very silly. i picture my dogs snapping at bugs in the air, and it's funny to think about.
i love to think about the difference between cats and dogs, how a cat letting you touch them is a huge accomplishment. i've grown up with dogs, so i don't know how that is.
i like the line where the narrator considers whether they are the cat's favorite or not. that's something i often think about.
i have no critiques
anyway i don't have much else!
arigato!
yuuki
This is amazing, I like the story you tell with it. My cat is the same, except I am constantly saving birds from her and trying to keep my hands at a safe distance. She likes to be petted and likes to snuggle, but only of her own accord. Thank you for blessing this world with such fun poetry.
Hello, hope all is well. Here is my review.
I love this lol It's so relatable because I grew up with cats and remember how nasty it was for one of them to eat bugs. Sometimes they would bring them over as peace offering or lick my face and my hands directly after eating them. They were crazy as well lol
Your poem is very simple and straight to the point. But I think that's great because it showcases how simple cats are. They don't require much. And as apathetic as they can be, the bond you have with them is special. You captured the trust your cat has with you. She's gentle and nice with you, enjoys time with you and feels safe enough for you to be close. That's a special bond, compared to the relationship she has for small insect creatures lol
Very light hearted. I enjoyed reading this. I look forward to reading more
I really likes the concept of this poem. I'm a cat lover myself!
maybe put: buzz against glass walls to try to escape.The first stanza was a good start, and humorous when you think of it. The wording however sort of loses its flow at a moment:
the second stanza is a nice parallel to the first where you show the cat's empathetic side. Again I had a comment on the flow and wording of it.
. Maybe put: allows me to pet her
Now for the last stanza this is where I feel the flow/rythm sort of gets lost:
- this I didn't understand. Don't you already have her ?
I'd love some of your feedback on this. Maybe go over what you were trying to express for the lat verse? Overall nice poem and very interesting concept. Im also aware that my reviewing isn't too good im still new!
Happy writing!
Thanks for the feedback! Im also new. For the last verse I was trying to express the feeling that I wouldn't be able to understand her because of how she is not human like I am. I really like your other critiques and I plan to try using them next time I write! Im still new to poetry so im trying my best to improve. Thanks again!
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Hello, there! Junebug here with a review for ya!
Shall we get into it?
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This piece captures the wildly unpredictable nature of cats. On one hand, the cat displays a cold, detached nature with the bugs. On the other hand, she displays a tender affection towards you by sleeping near you, playing, and licking you. This piece explores the mystery of animals— showing how you truly appreciate the bond, but accept that a cat's mind exists on an entirely different plane.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
The transition between talking about the cat's detached predatory nature, and the warm affection could be highlighted more to create an even bigger contrast. Punctuation could also be added on a few lines of this poem to control the pacing and create a larger emotional impact.
For example:
adding a dash or even a comma here could create a dramatic pause right before the final line, creating a larger impact.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
The imagery in this poem is wonderfully creepy. The line:
perfectly shows the eerie patience of cats.
The sudden shift from:
creates a heartwarming feeling that any pet owner would understand.
And last, but not least, the final line:
creates a beautifully bittersweet ending and a perfect way to end the poem
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
This is an amazingly honest and relatable poem on the bond between humans and our pets. You did a great job of balancing the predatory nature with the general comfort that they bring.
Thank you, have a good day/night, and be safe!