Published February 20, 2009
Warning: Contains explicit use of the word Awesome
There once was a man who was awesome.
Everywhere he went people would bow down before his awesomeness.
"He's so awesome!" They'd cry.
"Hail the awesome one!" Came another shout.
"His awesomeness rivals the awesomeness of even the most awesome!" Was another thing they'd say.
One day, as a young lad, while staring at his awesome reflection in a pond, the Awesome One had a realization dawn upon him.
"My God," he whispered, "I'm totally awesome."
He then set out on a quest to perform feats of awesomeness for all the world to witness.
Every now and then a non believer would challenge him.
"I believe myself to be more awesome in standing!" he'd say.
The awesome warrior would simply laugh, and strike a pose.
The challenger would immediately be blown away by the force of the awesomeness.
"I wish I'd never doubted his awesomeness!" the non believer would shriek, before being obliterated by the ray of awesomeness.
The Awesome One grew so awesome that he soon ascended to the height of political power.
Using his awesomeness as a tool, his country became the most awesome country in the history of awesomeness.
But despite his awesomeness, the Awesome One grew sad.
For he had no one to share his awesomeness with.
Any woman who dared kiss the face of the Awesome One usually tended to spontaneously combust later due to overexposure of pure awesomeness.
The Awesome One was facing a seriously unawesome problem.
He declared a face off of all the most awesome women in the country.
Alas, none rivaled his own level of awesomeness.
Finally a lone woman approached him, wearing nonawesome clothes, and a nonawesome hairdo.
"Let me try, my Lord Awesome," she implored him.
The Awesome One was intrigued.
"What makes you so awesome that you believe you can stand alongside my awesomeness?" he asked.
The Unawesomely Dressed Woman replied: "Because I do not dress awesome, act awesome, or shop at awesomely expensive convenience stores. I am myself. And therefore am the most awesome of all."
The Awesome One was speechless. He fell upon his awesome hands, the impact of which created the grand canyon, and wept his awesome tears, which became the Mississippi river. The Unawesomely Dressed Woman comforted him.
They were soon wed.
And the wedding...was awesome.
They went on to continue a legacy of awesomeness, which still stands as the most awesome display of awesomeness ever known in the world of awesomeness.
And they lived awesomely ever after.
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Canary word: Present
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Well, the first and third exclamation use 'would', but the second uses 'came'. Sounds like tense-switching.
'...while staring at his awesome reflection in a pond, realization dawned upon the Awesome One.', sound more flowing.
Non-believer.
Pssh, are only males worthy enough to challenge for supremacy?
Blown away by the force of 'his' (sheer) awesomeness.
Non-believer.
He declared a face-off with all the exceptionally awesome women in the country.
Most would imply that there is only one, or mulitple women with the exact same level of awesomeness.
You don't exactly wear a hairdo. You can 'sport' a hairdo. Comma after finally. Non-awesome.
Sounds weird, the way she addresses him.
"Allow me to try, Your Awesomeness"?
I just think that 'my Lord Awesome' sounds a tad funny.
What qualities could you possibly have to even begin believing that you are worthy of standing alongside my awesomeness?
I can't find the right words at the moment, but there's a slight choppiness to this sentence.
Unawesomely-dressed.
Hey Michael!
*hugs* That was hilarious to gigantic proportions!
Especially: Realisation dawned upon him, "My God," he whispered, "I'm awesome."
*whacks you on the head with a pen* I am going to regret ever boosting your out-of-proportion ego.
Stop looking at me like that. I do not have multiple presonality disorder.
The psychiatrists just want you to believe that.
At the very least, I'm comforted by the fact that I could find mistakes in your story. Haha.
But yes, it started and ended with those simply, commonly used lines.
Hoever, they were used artfully, so that's good.
On the whole, it was written in a simple format, with simple words, with simple descriptions.
Nothing bombastic or flowery.
Here is where: Simplicity can be beautiful
Comes in. Entertaining from start to end.
~Have a nice day!
Meep(:
Oh my! I love this story! It's so awesomely awesome! Hehe. I can say awesome explicitly too! But, due to my awesome nit-picking abilities, I was able to awesomely find some awesome things to nit-pick!
What if she kissed his head? Or his feet?
She wears her hairdo?
Oh wow, that's all I can find to nit-pick in your awesomely awesome story despite my awesomely awesome nit-picking abilities.
This made me so happy! I just wanted to shout, "AWESOME!" But I restrained myself. It was a struggle. Anyways, I have an awesome review for you and hopefully my input helps make your story even more awesome. You know, I was doubtful when I read the first few lines, because I really dislike redundancies, but you pulled it off awesomely.
"Hail the Awesome One!" Another would shout.
He sometimes heard them say.
Strike the ...
Became instead of become.
LOL, I love this line. Awesome.
Haha, unawesome. Yeah, it made me smile.
I think that sounds better.
OMG, the most AWESOME part of the whole story. I LOVE it!! You are brilliant, by the way.
I loved this story. So yeah that's my review. Oh and I loved the Fonz.
The Fonz = epic win.
I read this on abctales the other day! This is indeed a most awesome story. I love the moral to it, even if it is incredibly cheesy.
I've got to run, but I'll come back and review this later, I promise!
*Gold Star for Awesomeness*
~anti-pop