It's just a simple free verse poem that I did awhile ago.
Dreams
Wishing to be taken away in my dreams
where nothing is what it seems
to leave the world for alittle while
where I can truely smile
getting lost in a world that's my own
where my imagination is truely shown
my eyes the only one to see
this beautiful world that is all to me
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
First off, this isn't free verse, owing to the rhyme. Rhyme counts as structure.
Secondly, at least to me, said rhyme seems forced. Personally, I'd suggest writing actual free verse poems and experimenting with vocabulary, imagery and concepts, before restricting yourself.
Watch your spelling.
I think you should make more use of punctualtion, sentences, instead of droning on the entire thing in one big go.
You need to develop your points. I've read the poem at least thrice, and I'm still not entirely sure what it's about. Ok, so you want to live in the world of dreams instead of reality. Great.
How about you tell me what your world is like? Imagery, literary effects - they are all there so that you can amphasise your points and convey your concepts across to the reader effectively. Use them.
Same goes for vocabulary - use a thesaurus if you need to, and at all costs avoid repetition.
Anyway, hope that was of some help. It's a start, you just need to be more specific and clear, in general. Good luck!