Published March 8, 2024
Passing by her bedroom mirror
The mirror who’s watched her grow
From a little girl with innocence,
To a little older girl who always checked to see if she looked thin or not.
A bad habit of not liking what she sees,
Punishing herself.
-
On her lowest days, she’d go to the beach.
Looking for an escape, met with quite a challenging one.
The sun tried to help her,
Showing her the brightest days, picking her up
But all she could do was fall.
-
Damaged little girl,
She ripped apart her body
Crying in front of her mirror,
Begging to ‘look’ better.
Her smudged makeup, knowing it’s not enough to hide herself
-
Falling deeper and deeper into a hole.
The hole of eating ‘breakfast’ at 5pm,
Fighting a war with scales,
Hiding away the love handles she didn’t love,
Knowing no one else would love them either.
Not allowing clothes to touch her and her wretched body.
-
A million suns could never pick her up,
The brightest days only made her want to hide away.
Obsessed with seeing stars and other shapes but not the ones in the sky.
-
My poor damaged little girl,
I wish that she could see herself the way that I see her.
A beautiful girl who only cares to hurt herself,
She’s her own enemy,
I never meant to hurt her.
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137,681 Literary Works • 672,057 Reviews
Hi. I came to leave a review.
Its painful how much people care more about the appearance of others. Its also sad that the girl in your poem is keeping her pain to herself. Only the mirror in her room knows her pain, her suffering. I hope she could meet someone who could tell her how lovely she is as a person and not as an object.
me too :,)
Hello fellow! I'm TheoCannot. I came across this poem, fell in love with it, so here I am with a review:))
First, I understand what you mean by it. I suppose that it came from some kind of.. experiences. Not the good ones I suppose. And I'm here to say that I get you. Totally. It must've been hard going through all of this, if it was you or someone close to you. Unless it's not from experience...
Except for the topic, I love your way of writing. The way you describe things, especially with the hard topic... It's just heart melting.
It's sad that some people go through things like this. It's sad, that most of it is caused by the internet, by the society. It's just so heart warming to find things like this.
It's wholesome, really
Hi there! This is Orabella, here with a review!
First of all, welcome to the site! We're so happy to have you here! Please let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything I can do for you.
This poem is absolutly amazing; I love it! The details are so descriptive, and the piece has such a sad and depressing vibe that almost makes me want to cry!
To me, it sounds kind of like an eating disorder and/or a corrupt self-image of some kind, right? Even when that's not the case. "Damaged" is, again, something I would not have guessed to be that important, and yet it holds a very big role in the poem! I wouldn't say exactly that she's damaged, but more like her self-esteem and self-care is damaged. Maybe mental health, physical health. I really like the title, though, and I think it fits absolutly perfectly!
In the second verse, I really liked the contrast between "up" and "fall", which makes them some of my favorite lines. I also thought using the mirror to reflect (pun intended) her and who she was and who she is was a really creative way to tell her story. Especially because her story has to do with her self-image.
Oh and the last verse; especially those last two lines. They are so beautiful and so sad, and I wish I could just jump into the poem and help them, although I'm not sure what I'd do once I got there. XD The whole poem being about the girl and what she did, and then suddenly switching to a narrator was unexpected but was actually a really cool and effective way to add more feeling to the poem, as well as making it more interesting. And the way the last line brings it back to the narrator again... I don't know there was something about that that was really cool.
Your style of writing is beautiful, and I love how you can fit so much into such a small space! All this information and meaning behind the few amount of words is incredible, and not something most people can do. I can definitely imagine reading this in a book and having full confidence it belongs there. It flows so well, too, and I really just love it.
Again, if there's ever anything you want to talk to me about, feel free to reach out! If you want to chat about poetry, about life, about staircases, I'm here!
Thank you so much for writing this poem, and being brave enough to share it here on YWS. Again, welcome! I hope I can read more of your poetry! Have an amazing day/night, and keep writing!
MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:
Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret
This poem is very beautiful and heartfelt! I loved these lines:
I love the aesthetics of this. Maybe you did this on purpose, but I love how the first line is shorter and the second is longer. As we describe growth from a little girl to an older girl, our lines get longer and more complex. I think that is something that a lot of us can relate to. Beautiful, this is so lovely, friend!
Your lines are incredibly full of emotion and I can tell that this is very personal to you.
Wow, that is powerful. Normally makeup is seen as something to enhance beauty, but I love how this poem breaks down that wall and says, “no! It is a mask, it’s not real, it’s not enough!” I really enjoyed this.
I love the metaphor you use of falling into this hole. So much of what we struggle with mentally feels like a trap for sure. I think that these three lines capture this so incredibly well:
The idea of a million suns- days, hours, hopes and dreams, what is logical and illogical, smart and bad and pretty and ugly, so much! Sometimes the brightness just makes us want to hide, from everything.
Congratulations on posting your first literary work on YWS
Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement
I notice you use commas and periods throughout this poem. Perhaps adding some to these first two sentences could help!
In this section:
I wonder why you chose to emphasize the word look. I wonder if italicizing the word better could be another way to show this idea of “pretty” that our world expects us to have. Just a thought though and I still love the way you wrote it!
Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises
The last stanza, where you speak to (who I assume is) yourself, was very well done!
I love how personal this was, to you. It really speaks from the heart and that was so clear though this. I love how the final stanza repeats a bit of the beginning, mentioning this idea of big girl and little girl again <33 you are so strong.
Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts
Another thing I wanted to suggest, moving forward, as you continue to post incredible poetry on YWS, is adding a trigger warning at the top of your poem for sensitive topics. Just wanted to mention that. If you have any questions about how or when to do that, please reach out to me!
Thank you for sharing this poem, it really touched my heart. I look forward to reading more and getting to know you better!
Your friend,
-Ellie
I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!