They'll bury their teeth within you,
Ripping through your thin skin,
Breaking down your sour barriers,
Letting your juice run down their fingers,
Make you think that you're done.
That they are going to take everything within you,
And leave you with nothing but the stubby steam you started with.
Until they stop at the toughest wall,
The one that surrounds your core,
Because they never really wanted you at all.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,029 Literary Works • 672,775 Reviews
Hey. So, nice to meet you meslo. Anyways.
You spelled stem wrong...you said "steam", which is very much incorrect. Pardon me, I'm a spell check geek.
This is quite good though. Nice work.
Tata for now, Meslo! Hope to see you around more, and always PM me if you need anything.
-Mizz
Cool. I love your writing style. I can tell the meaning behind your poem, and it is powerful. What I admire and enjoy the most about your work is your use of metaphors which I think is the best tool a poet can use. You'Ve definitely succeeded here. Well done!
This is such a great poem! There are some really great metaphors in here.
It's so symbolic and the words are just - indescribably fitting. It's like there's a poem behind the poem - a topic behind this topic.
And that part was my most favourite, just because it strikes a chord deep in my heart
Thanks for the greatness that is this poem.
-qt