CHRISTMAS TO ME
Melvin Banggollay
C-hristmas is the day Christ was born
in a manger not fitted for the Mighty king
yet God had chosen His son to be born
on this manger that salvation will ring.
H-umility is what Christ calls for the young and old
when He let himself be laid in this manger
Even He could have been born in a crib of gold
adorned with diamonds of glittering luster.
R-espect of creation and every human life
is what this season tells us to always proclaim
as we share our smile to heal one's strife
and lift those who are thirsty and rich in pain.
I-dolize Christ with every thought and heart.
as we put Him above all that matters in our life.
He is our daily bread we need to always be part
of the if we want salvation be the end of our life.
S-alvation is the gift of His blessed creation
as it opened the gate of heaven great mercy
for sinners to enter with Christ intercession
to the kingdom of God at the end of life's journey.
T-hanksgiving we must offer every Christmas day
as we adore God and honor him with all glory
with the spirit of giving gift to the poor and needy
and loving and caring those that need most mercy.
M-en had turned their back against God and his glory
Yet, for God so loved the world, He gave us freely
his only begotten son to ransom us so painfully
from the eternal death of sin even we're not worthy.
A-ct our faith in our heart and share a gift today.
Wrap a hope written with heartfelt sympathy
and share to anyone that needs a hand today
to make this season full of meaning and melody.
S-hare your love and understanding without hesitancy
for its the greatest gift we could give to Christ today;
Forgive those that might have hurt you in our way
and give them a gift of joy and smile of our humility.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello there,
I agree with Mcmourning on his corrections, but I have to say that I loved this piece. The style, the way your formatted it, the rhyme scheme (though you rhymed born with born-- tsk.) everything was fantabulous. I hope to see more of you, Melvin.
great job and keep rhyming,
empress
Hi.
I think the title is too generic. Anyone could write about what Christmas means to himself, but it isn't necessarily going to be religious.
As for the poem itself, I think it's okay. It started out with nice imagery with the manger and what being born in one meant. The end, though, wasn't so much about Him as about us. We need to act with faith in our hearts. We need to share. (You use "share" three times in a short period of time: "share a gift", "share to anyone", "Share your love". Instead, you could say, Act with faith in our hearts and use your gifts and, later, Spread your love.
Also, some of the phrasing seems very awkward, particularly these two lines.
He is the daily bread we need to always be a part of if we want salvation at the end of our life.
I'm not even sure what you're trying to say here, because I don't think that hope and sympathy go together.
I like that it's sort of an acrostic, except that it's not just one line for each letter. In those extra lines, you make some good points about Christmas's true meaning.
--McMourning