Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.
My understanding of love exists in a confused state of emotion. For hidden truths whispered
deep inside.
As consequence, my heart was permanently broken. Consciously, my ashamed convictions fabricated a lie.
The entryway cinched shut, and forever would remain closed.
Tied with prayer and an iron padlock, the roots of my secret would never be showed.
While time passed my loneliness grew and the silence became too strong.
Embracing a soaked tissue, I cried out “Why God, please take this from me, I am desperate to belong!”
In the same fashion as many nights before, I tossed and turned in conflict.
My dreams deeply saturated with passion to the core. My vulnerability quickly made me an addict.
Our hearts inflamed with fire, she braids her fingers with mine conforming like a glove.
Carelessly dances around me with desire, she elegantly cultivates my war for love.
Disillusioned I wake as her touch slowly relinquished, I begin to realize, this fire inside cannot be extinguished.
THIS IS WHERE I NEED HELP! ( from dream to reality) I finally found my girl. help...
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Legacy here for a review.
I am bisexual, so I know your struggle. It took me a long time to come out to my family (even so, some still don't know.) I've fallen for girls and boys alike. I love how you describe how even the smallest things made you fall even more in love and how you describe the conflict that you face between your religion and your sexuality. The only thing I really have to say about this poem is I would personally change the formatting. I would make stanza breaks when you start to talk about a slightly different point (such as after "while time passed my loneliness grew and the silence became too strong" is where a stanza break is recommended).
Hopefully I was able to be helpful. Legacy out.
Awwww, well hiya! Honestly, I can see this comes from a really deep place and I think this is beautiful. I am bisexual so I know how it is to feel like you don't exactly belong with that person or in general in society.
In this piece I really like the fact that you could make the words rhyme without forcing it and making it sound choppy. This is really good for your first piece posted. If you need to talk to someone about anything though, you can personal message me.