Prophesy of promise

by megefford
  • March 21, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

Of Singer and Song,
Of Lover and Long,
Of Memory Strong,
We Sing.
The Young and the Weak,
Taught Strength in the Heat,
The Fire of Dead,
We Sing.
Praise of the Old,
Remember the Cold,
Grow into the Mould,
Of Song.
We Sing of the Old,
You Remember the Cold,
And you from the Mould,
Is Song.
If Remember the Writ,
And Praise the Prophet,
Head and make fit,
You bring,
Young One of Five,
The Spirit and Life,
Of Thirteen on Ride,
I Sing,
Protector of Soul,
Killer of Cold,
Bringer of Old,
Grayling,
Colour of Dove,
Friendship and Love,
Promise the Dove,
I Sing.
I Swear to Send Through,
Protector of You,
Young in the Blue,
Sea Song.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
ehte92
Review
ehte92 wrote a review · Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:41 pm

Hello there. I am Ehte here for a review. It would rather be a short one because i am feeling a bit sleepy. xD
Okay so you have got a good piece up there. It has a good rhyming scheme but at some places the rhymes are forced and at some there is no rhyming at all. The flow was also pretty good but it gets totally ruined by those two word lines you have after every 3 lines. You better want to correct them. When i first read it i could not relate anything at all to the title you gave to this piece then i read it twice but even after that i could not relate anything. xD Or maybe it is just me. It would be better if the lines had more words to it so that the reader can understand it at the first go. And you should break it into stanzas. It would look better then. I hope my review would help.
Keep writing. (:

Random avatar
lele253isme
Review
lele253isme wrote a review · Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:25 pm

I really like this, and I think that you had good use for it. Good job this is my favorite line:

Friendship and Love,
Promise the Dove,
I Sing.


Good job, I say to you again. But how long did it take you to write this and find the right words? Because it would have took me a while.



But sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a person who is in the process of changing.
— Dalinar (Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson)