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Pan and Liv part 1

by maverymadams

We have all heard the story of Peter Pan, in many ways and different twists, but all with the same ending. Wendy leaves and never sees Peter again. Well this story, Peter finally finds a girl who will stay,eventually. So listen as I bring a few new characters into this story.

“Goodbye Wendy.” Peter exclaims. As he then returns to never land, with the lost boys and tinker bell. Hook will be awaiting them in never land, and Hook is very happy that Wendy left, because Peter will be so heartbroken that he won’t even have the strength to get out of bed. Well that is where he is wrong; Peter is not heartbroken over Wendy, because Wendy was not his true love. You are now wondering who his true love is well it all started when Peter and his men were out having a treasure hunt.

“Come on men let’s go!” Peter Pan says.

“But Peter where is our map? We can’t start without the map.” Lost boys ask.

The truth is Peter forgot to make up a map. This hunt he wanted to be very difficult for the boys to find. So he said, “There is no map. You will have to find it on your own.” That’s when they heard a strange noise. It sounded like someone flying through the forest. But Peter knew the only people that can fly around here is him, and tinker bell. He looks up and sees a girl flying over their head.

“Peter, who is that?!” asks.

“I don’t know, but I am going to find out.” Peter says.

Peter takes off after the mysterious figure. Tinker bell joins him as well, and they try to keep up to this girl. Peter yells for her to stop, but she didn’t listen. She kept going and going until she looked up and sees a net. What? Peter and Tink stopped and hid behind a tree. They look up and see Hook had captured the girl. She is struggling to get out and Hook takes her back to his ship.

“We need to save her Tink, go get the boys.” Peter says.

Peter goes after Hook and hide under the ship and listen to what they are saying.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here? I thought you were Pan, but you are just like him. Who are you?” Hook asks.

“Well I don’t know who Pan is, but I’m Liv, I am a very special person, who isn't going to tell you anything!" Liv exclaimed.

“Why are all you kids so annoying?" Hook asked.

Liv didn’t answer; she just took out her pink dagger and cut herself loose. Pan came up and was going to do the same. Pan and Liv faced each other. Pan was completely entranced. He couldn’t speak as he faced Liv. She was perfect. Shehad long blonde hair, with green eyes, and her dress looked like it was made of leaves like his outfit. He was about to say ‘hi’ but she took off.

“Whoa.”Pan said.

Hook was very confused; he looked at Pan, then looked up in the air for Liv, then looked back at Pan. “Who was that?” Hook asked.

Pan took off after Liv. He kept screaming her name all over. He finally saw a glowing light in this cave on top of the mountain. He saw Liv curled up talking to another fairy.

“Liv?” Pan asked.

“Who's there? What do you want?” Liv asked.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. My name is Peter Pan, I live here on Never Land. Can you at least tell me how you got here?" Peter asked.

“Oh well, my name is just Liv, and I guess it all started when I turned 12, I over heard my mom taking about what a fine lady I would be and that scared me. I don’t want to grow up. So I ran away when this fairy named Brooks came to me, he told me about a special place where I could go and escape this place. So he gave me the ability to fly and we have been traveling together for a few years.” Liv explained. "How did you get here?" She asked.

"Basically the same as me. I have a fairy as well, her name is Tinker bell." Peter said. “Well Liv, why don’t I show you around. I can show you my tree house, my men, and my fairy. Take my hand.” Peter said.

Liv took Peter’s hand and they flew off. Peter first showed Liv the cove, where the mermaids lived, and then his tree house where she met the lost boys.

“And this is my fairy Tinker Bell. Did you say your fairy was named Brooks? I bet they would love to meet each other.” Peter said.

“Okay, Brooks why don’t you say hi to Tinker Bell.” Liv said.

They both hit it off great. They flew into the woods to get to each other better. Liv looked around the house and tried to make herself at home. But she just couldn’t get used it. She didn’t want to tell Peter that, because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“So can I call you Pan for short?” Liv asks.

“Ya of course you can. Do you have any other questions for me?” Pan asked.

“I actually do. First, who was that guy who captured me?” Liv asked.

“Well that’s a story. That is Hook. He is the captain of the Jolly Roger. He is a mean old man who for some reason wants me dead. We fight a lot and he loses alot. He tries to capture me but has always failed. I love messing with him. He is no threat.” Pan explained.

“Oh well, why is his name Hook?” Liv asked.

“Well the first time I fought him; I cut off his hand and feed it to a crocodile. So he put a hook where his hand used to be.” Pan said.

“Oh wow, so what is there to do here for fun?” Liv asked.

“I am so glad you asked that!” Pan said.

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Points: 483
Reviews: 4

Wed Jan 13, 2016 7:49 am
My1Story wrote a review...

writing in present tense is very hard. i noticed that in a few sentences there were mistakes such as, "Peter goes after Hook and hide under the ship and listen to what they are saying." this should be, Peter goes after Hook and hides* under the ship and listens* to what they are saying. the story was very intriguing. i loved the idea and the way you simply put the story made it somewhat refreshing. it was sort of like reading a children's book. straight to the point. honestly, i loved it. i want to know more about Liv! I kind of wish there was more detail but if that is not the goal you were trying to achieve then i understand. everyone has their different style of writing.

User avatar
6 Reviews

Points: 420
Reviews: 6

Mon Jan 04, 2016 6:29 am
Allycat102199 wrote a review...

I like were this story is going. You kept it interesting which was very good. The main problems I saw were missing spaces a few times and not putting words in when they are needed. The biggest thing with writing is making sure you proofread A LOT before posting. I learned that the heard way with the first book I posted on my old account. I didn't proof read at all and I now understand why many people didn't read it. (Not that people wont read yours, you didn't make to many major mistakes and it's still a great read!)

maverymadams says...

Thank you so much. And I did notice the words mashing together i went through and tried to find all of them I guess u missed a few but thanks for the review it really means a lot to me

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.
— Emily Dickinson