Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
It was about 5 a.m. and I was in bed. Had just fallen asleep, right about when the time to wake up was coming around the corner to bit me in the ass. Now, don’t get me wrong, I went to bed at 11, I figured I’d try to get some rest into this sleep deprived body I lug around all day, but I didn’t actually get to sleep until around 4. I’ve always hated night. When you’re a little kid it’s a time to be afraid of monsters, when you hit high school it’s a time to realize how lonely and pathetic you are because you’re sitting alone, and then it’s the time when you really become afraid of monsters. These monsters aren’t hairy. Or slimy. Or covered in scales. These monsters are thoughts. Yeah, thoughts. And those monsters of thoughts hit the hardest at night. When you’re in bed. When there’s nothing but you trying to get on a boat called Sleep in a cotton sea called your bed sheets. Thoughts. I’ve always hated thoughts. I just wish I could turn off my mind so I could finally live without always being completely controlled by it.
Well this is an oddly relatable start to proceedings here. It definitely does get your attention pretty quickly since it seems to be quite so simple on the surface as far as just how this person is troubling sleeping is concerned, but you can genuinely see the pain that comes as a result of it and also the cause there for why this occurs in the first place.
So anyway it was about 5 a.m. First it was the sound of vibration against wood. Then the ringing. Stupid polyphonic ringing. I leaned over, ripped the room from the charger, and flung it across the room. I always kept my phone on. Always. Just in case someone decided to call and for at least a minute take me out of my loneliness. People rarely called though. Well I guess an open door has more of chance or someone coming in it than a closed one. Right? But someone just had to decide to come in at 5 a.m. I didn’t bother picking up the phone and seeing who had called. It was too far away anyway. I never really understood why I liked to throw things when I was mad. I guess I had to hurt something, so might as well make it something inanimate instead myself. Or someone else.
Okay...well that proceeded about as well as could be expected I suppose there. I think you did a decent enough job of constructing that particular situation and showcasing sort of how that went about and its a sort of good look into this person's general personality and how they react to things as well so on the whole we've got ourselves a pretty decent start so far.
So I got out of bed. The floor was cold. It stung against my bare feet but soon they became as cold as the floor they were standing on. I walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I’m not really sure why I did, I just kind of always did. I liked to look at myself in the mirror. I liked to look at my flaws and laugh at them, and I liked to look into my own eyes and ask, “Who the hell are you?” I looked over my face and my body. What do I look like? I’m not going to tell you. I’ll let you imagine that for yourself. Oh yeah, and my name? I’ll leave that one up to you too.
Aaaand that was a slightly weirder ending. The narrator going full on sort of talking to the reader mode is a bit rarer to see and this one appears to be in quite the bad mood too, not to mention it kind of ends up making the ending more abrupt rather than dramatic or a cliffhanger so I think you might want to think twice about how this has ended there, it doesn't quite work out as well as it should have considering it did start pretty well.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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Reviews: 4107
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