Failure
Failure my friend it hasn't been long
Even though many ignore you I welcome you with open arms
For you have been there for me through good and bad
, because only through you am I able to progress
you may think your a shame but
you still are an achievement because
only through you is there the path of succeeding ...
For only through failure can we value success and all those that are not your friend...
We'll let them guess
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hey Weather here with a review! Welcome to YWS by the way.
Well I really liked that this poem looked at failure in a positive light and not in a depressing or somber way. I liked the deep and new meaning you brought to this.
There is always for improvement so I have a few suggestions that may help improve your piece.
"FAILURE
Failure my friend it hasn't been long
Even though many ignore you I welcome you with open arms
For you have been there for me through good and bad
, because only through you am I able to progress"
I'd first and foremost remove the repeated title which is in capitals, It was unnecessary and quite distracting. I liked the rest of this part I would just maybe elaborate on the "good and bad" and also use more powerful words instead of those to show how much of an impact failure may have as not many people can take it as a positive when they've reached an all time low.
You may think your a shame but
you still are an achievement because
only through you is there the path of succeeding ...
For only through failure can we value success and all those that are not your friend...
We'll let them guess
Here, in the first line you've used the incorrect, "your", it should be "you're" short for you are, your implies it's something belonging to someone. I would take out the ellipses after the word succeeding it wasn't needed in that moment. They're more often used when the person has drifted off into thought to ponder. The ellipses were fine after the word, "friend" though.
The ending was slightly off to me, it didn't leave much of an impact or "wow" moment It could be developed though however.
Overall this was a very good start, keep writing!
--Weather
Failure my friend,
it hasn't been long!
Even though many ignore you,
I welcome you with open arms.
For you have been there,
through my good and bad.
only through you I am able to progress.
(you may think your a shame but
you still are an achievement because
only through you is there the path of succeeding...) I didn't get the essence of this sentence.
For only through failure can we value success and all those that are not your friend...( i really liked this sentence.)
We'll let them guess (this sentence seemed out of place)
overall this was good!
Keep writing!
La
only through you is there the path of succeeding. basically what i was trying to say of that when we fail we learn and through what we have learned we avoid the same mistake we make, when you fail is like a lesson learned
Ok, well put some more work into it and bring out that idea by the choices of words you use.
Timmy here for a quick review!
Wow, what a lot you state in one short poem... I always like poems with more than love and rejection in them; a poem with a deeper meaning. This is one of them! I love the idea and you really bring it far!
Nitpicks
Faving time and Style
I have to tell you, this is an amazing piece of work... The subject you chose isn't chosen in poetry, as a lot of people might not see it as "poetic" or something. But, wow. You have made it extremely poetic...
Its a very deep subject, and one that makes people think, which I love about this! If it doesn't make you think... then what is it for? I admit that I write a lot of plush, cuddly poetry, but I love this kind of poetry a lot more.
I never thought of failure as a friend, but now that I think about it, it truly is! Failure is a friend because without it, we would not succeed. None of us succeed the very first time we try. It takes time and lots of failures before we succeed at anything truly great.
Keep writing and Welcome To YWS!!! This is certainly an amazing poem to begin with. You have earned a like from me.
~Timmyjake
time check out my poems and leave a review.
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Hey there maryum!
I really liked this poem! I understand the meaning of it very well and you have some very interesting phrases in this poem. You also clearly know and believe what is said in this poem.
My favourite line was:
I like how usually people would say "It has been long" and you instead surprised the reader with the opposite. It kind of makes you pay attention to the piece and look at it more closely before the actual piece starts.
Just one little thing that could be improved in my opinion:
I disagree with the first half of this. People don't ignore failure they complain and shun it. I think if you added work such as that it would give more contrast between the two sides.
Overall, lovely, creative and deep poem! *drops like*
Actually the thing is that i am dyslexic and i have failed multiple times, i had failed so much in so many tests that failure became a friend rather then an enemy and that's why i wrote this poem and i wanted to portray failure as a friend and someone who was always there for me,teaching me,guiding me, showing me how to succeed and really today i have, i have gotten into one of the best colleges in my country and i live in Pakistan where failing is not an option so it is indeed ignored here, rather then complain and shunning it they don't like the concept of failing so they don't even consider it,as for me i don't have a choice sometimes i just don't understand no matter how hard i try, they memorize everything from books and get their grades and i am clearly not like that. this is a poem about my acceptance and i was hoping this could be a wake up call for all who fear failure.