Published July 18, 2010
Is this a poem?
You tell me.
I’ll punctuate
This Po-uh-tree.
I like this poem.
How ‘bout you?
A doodly, doodly, doodly, doo.
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Canary word: Present
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140,280 Literary Works • 673,071 Reviews
Hello there
I thought that your poem lacked a lot of punctuation and so it was very hard to make out what you were trying to say at times; though it could be great it lacked a lot of meaning. Without commas and full stops, for me, it's very hard to feel the emotion you are trying to portray as well.
Keep writing
Hi again maryletsflyaway,
Just to start this review by saying: the number of works you've posted in ratio to the number of reviews you've given other people is very low. Remember, by reviewing others, you'll get more reviews yourself! This site works on giving.
I had a similar problem with this work as I did with your other one. The enjambement is off. Your use of commas is also sporadic. Commas are primarily, in poetry, a guide for the reader. It tells them when to pause. When I read this aloud it is a mess. It might look okay on the page, but out loud, the rhythm is completely wayward. Reading your poetry aloud is often the best way to revise it, despite how weird it might feel to do!
Good luck.