Nothing good, just something to say.

maryletsflyaway wrote:I am your critic
I am your judge
Mmmm, it tastes good
Judgment does

I’ll spread it on your toast
If you spread it on mine
I’m fine really
Judgments rhyme

Let’s get to together
And celebrate
Our mutual hate
Our damned escape
its a good peom ,but to me it really doesnt make any sense
The glare of the other
Is growing close
The close
I’m closed
Just as you supposed

maryletsflyaway wrote:I’m fine really mmm I don't think this line contributes.
Judgments rhyme This line is really bla. It needs something. More words (maybe), because it is really short compared to the lines before it, and maybe something to link it to the lines above.

Let’s get to together Lose the to or it sounds like... well 'to [i]together'[/i]
And celebrate
Our mutual hate
Our damned escape What escape, who's escape?

~~~

Just as you supposed is this last line a question? Sorry, I just think it could use end punctuation to kind of end the whole poem, not that you need punctuation in the rest of it.

maryletsflyaway wrote:I am your critic
I am your judge
Mmmm, it tastes good
Judgment does Oh, good god! What does judgment taste like? And remove your first line, I don't think you're going back to it, so it's really just usless.

I’ll spread it on your toast That's right, I like my toast with extra- ... Extra what? I have no idea, judgment, right? But what is that like? How do I relate?
If you spread it on mine I'll judge you if you judge me?
I’m fine really Lose this linnneeee!
Judgments rhyme Lol. Keep this line. But you may want to add an That's right our, so it becomes: That's right, our judgements rhyme. It helps the flow a bit to keep the same amount of words / syabells(sp) in a line.

Let’s get to together
And celebrate
Our mutual hate
Our damned escape Just add a connecting word between our mutual hate and the line below it and you're good.

The glare of the other
Is growing close
The close
I’m closed
Just as you supposed