My England

Hello, Rain here, I really liked this, I do have a few comments and suggestions though.

Red- Needs to be changed to be grammerly correct.
Blue- Suggestions based on my opinion.

Be my England,
Watch me as I walk I think you should make that one line two, likw this...
along the River Thames
Away from the city, << Should be lower case, unless you meant to have a period after "Thames"
Foot in front of foot << Lower case
On that island. Lower case

Be my England,
And watch me from the clouds << Lower case
As the raindrops fall, << Lower case
Drip drop Lower case
On my face. << Lower case

Be my England,
And be the rolling hills, << Fix the cases
Cliff to sea,
Sky above, endless.

Be my England
And dance with me through the streets,
The dark of night,
The glittering lights, Ok, so here I think this would sound a lot better as "glistening" it just seems to sound better to me... Just a suggestion from my opinion...
Of the village. << Fix cases...

Let’s be England,
Holding hands << One line to two...
and crossing the sea,
Rowing, stroke by stroke
Across the channel
To land.