Young Writers Society

Chapter 3

Reversed

I tossed around in my bed all night trying to fall asleep but I just couldn’t. I had kicked off the blankets and pulled them over my shivering body repeatedly, and run my hands through my hands a million times. All I could think about was the strange feeling of changing time. It felt like the world was slipping away without my control. Whenever I closed my eyes I could feel the world slipping away slightly but it was just my imagination because when I opened my eyes I was still in my dark bedroom. Like a room was packed full of water and I opened the front door. The water kept rushing out and I couldn’t close push it back in. How did it happen? How did I do it? Tears traveled down my face as I remembered my failing attempt. I could’ve dated Jack. I could’ve changed the past.

I sniffled and grabbed my phone from my bedside table. The phone rung against my ear as I called Westcott. I didn’t really expect him to answer but I wanted to talk to someone being alone with my thoughts was torture.

“Hello?” he groaned sleepily from across the line, “Stella. It’s fucking two in the morning.”

“I”m sorry,” I whined, cringing at myself, “I can’t sleep.” It was my way of telling Westcott I needed him. I almost always needed him but rarely let him know.. He sort of always made it easy for me to depend on him.

“No, it’s fine,” he yawned, “What’s up?”

“I don’t know. I’m just having a rough night,” I sighed, rubbing my sleepy eyes and thinking about how rough my night was. Not many people stay up all night worrying about their magical powers.

“Was it that old box?” Westcott chuckled. He laughed warmly in my ear, “You’ve always been so nostalgic…”

“Yeah, I guess it was.” I smiled, genuinely. Westcott always had a way of making me feel better. I remember this time when we were younger and I lied to my parents. I was sobbing with guilt but he hugged me and reminded me that it was good that I admitted to my lie. I think I lied about eating candy before dinner or something. He’s always teased me as well but never harshly. No, that was Jack. Westcott’s always been gentle. I thought of going back in time again. The thought kept relapsing in my mind. It happened because of the picture I’m sure of it. Maybe I can do it again. “Hey...do you have any more pictures like the one I found today?”

“Um...probably I’ll have to ask my mom,” Westcott spoke, confused by my question, “Why?” I didn’t want to tell him. At least not yet, I reasoned with myself. I’d sound like a crazy person telling Westcott I can time travel. He also already thinks I’m obsessed with Jack. What is he going to think if I tell him I’m trying to change my past to end up with Jack. I’d sound psychotic!

“Bring them to school tomorrow!” I demanded enthusiastically. I can do it again I’m sure. I hung up the phone.

***

“Wow, you really did have a rough night,” Westcott laughed when he saw the baggage my face was carrying. Truthfully, I didn’t have time that morning to put makeup on or to even care about my appearance. It’s not like it matters. I’m going to travel back in time and my appearance will change anyway.

“Oh, ha-ha,” I snorted and rolled my eyes.

Westcott laughed and handed me the photo album he promised last night, “I think you’re turning into my mother. This new obsession with photos.” He teased lightly.

“It’s not an obsession,” I correct, “It’s an interest. Anyway, thanks.” Westcott's eyes moved from my face and were staring behind me. I followed his glance to see Jack and Celeste walking into school together, smiling. “I’m going to fix things,” I whispered. Westcott looked at me, shocked and curious. His eyes were staring into mine trying to understand something. My sudden change of heart confused him. It confused me.

The school bell rang and all the students turned into moths attracted to light. Quiet, morning mutters traveled with the wind as the cluster of high schoolers tried to make it through double doors. “Thanks again,” I smiled and hurried to class along with my fellow students.

*** I opened the photo album when I was sitting in class. There’s no reason for me to pay attention now because I will take this class again, I laughed to myself. It felt oddly magical. I felt oddly magical. I had a new purpose; a new drive. I was going to save myself in this comic book story.

The photo album was made of black leather that felt smooth against my fingertips. The photos were displayed in clear plastic. I studied them, lightly. One of the photographs caught my eye. It was a group photo taken during Halloween two years ago. We were all dressed up and in funny poses. Westcott was a vampire displaying his bloody teeth and Darla standing next to him was a white witch doing a Vogue face. I smiled from the other side of the picture dressed up as Red Riding Hood and Jack was next to me as Spider Man, pretending to shoot web from his fingers. From my memory, I knew that picture took place a few months before Jack confessed. Too early.

I moved on and looked at another picture. I assumed it was taken by Westcott as he wasn’t in the picture and it was his mother who owned the album. In the photograph, I was sitting in my desk in one of our middle school classrooms. Jack sat in front of me and was smiling. I could tell it was snack based on the food on everyone's desks, the people standing in social circles, and the people in mid-laugh.

I took a deep breath and focused on the memory the image created. The morning banter about who slept with who and at what party surrounding me turned into boys bursting with nerdy passion over Minecraft. My desk changed too from being the in center of the room to being next to the window. I looked up to see Jack’s black hair, silky smooth in front of me. This is it! I thought eagerly. I was amazed it worked.

I smiled and poked him on the shoulder. Jack turned around with a slight smirk, happy to talk to me. Oh, how I miss those days... “Yeah?”

“What day is it?” I asked, talking to him as if he hasn’t ignored me for years. As if he really was my best friend and as if we really were interested in each other.

“The twenty-fourth,” a laugh erupted from his chest, “Mr. Copper just told Stephanie that.” He shook his head at me. Yes, I am a natural dreamer but this isn’t a consequence of that. It’s because I don’t remember, I found comfort in speaking my mind in my mind.

“Of?” I pushed him to tell me more. Admittedly, my voice was a little higher than usual and I was definitely smiling as cutely as I possibly could. I kind of remember know, why everyone already assumed we were dating.

“It’s April twenty-fourth, two thousand and fifteen,” Jack shook his head at me with a grin.

“I rarely listen,” I smiled shyly and looked around the room. Like Jack said, Stephanie Tanli sat in front of Mr. Copper’s desk twirling her hair as eyed him with infatuated eyes. I never got people who got crushes on teachers. They’re teachers. I looked around for Westcott or whoever held the camera but found no one. “Where’s West?”

Jack raised an eyebrow, “He isn’t in this class.”

“Well, who took the picture then?” I blundered out without thinking and immediately regretted it.

“Picture?” Jack was really confused now.

I began to panic. My palms sweated and my mind was trying to keep up with what was coming out of my unfiltered mouth. I can’t fuck up again. “Oh, nevermind,” I laughed nervously and looked away. I felt like I was slowly sinking in a quicksand mixture of guilt and regret.

“Okay…” Jack turned back around. Once he stopped looking at me, I ran both of my hands through my hair and sighed. Idiot, idiot, idiot!

Think, I commanded myself. I can’t mess up this time. It’s mid April and Jack asked me during the summer. Right! I remembered, Westcott threw an end of middle school “party” at his house. That’s why we were all there that day. It was after school on the last day of eighth grade.

“Hey Jack?” I asked again. My voice barely coming out like a squeak.

Jack turned around again, ready to answer another one of my questions. “Yeah?”

“What day does school end again?” I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear. I’ve always done it whenever I’m anxious and more specifically keeping a secret. It’s a good thing Jack is not good at noticing little things. Shit, if it was Westcott instead I’d be having to make up an explanation to my odd questions.

“May twenty-fifth,” Jack turned his body around to face me directly, “Is something wrong?” Jack lacking in observatory skills didn’t stop him from realizing my questions and tone of voice was weird. Shit.

I laughed and hoped it didn’t seem nervous. “I just wanted to know. You know, I’m not good with dates.” Jack nodded and faced forward again. I bit my lip.

The end of school was a month away and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to relive that much of my middle school years. Perhaps, I can go back to the future and find a picture taken closer. But, why waste a time travel? I reasoned with myself, Maybe I can do something to affect Jack and I relationship.

Maybe...I can confess.

***

I waited until lunch. I had a hard time remembering my eighth grade schedule but Jack helped me. Even Jack could tell something was up but I was glad he didn’t push me to tell him. Jack was even standing outside of my history class when the lunch bell rang. I was grateful for his help.

“Hey!” Jack grinned and I smiled a friendly 'hello'.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked, the question caused my stomach to turn knowing what I was about to do. Even though I knew how Jack felt for me, confessing my feelings was still hard. There was still the possibility of him regretting me. It ate away at me from the inside.

Jack followed me as I walked outside in the courtyard until I stopped walking under a tree. It was a beautiful April day. The trees were lush and blooming with flowers. The air was warm and salty from the ocean. I leaned against the rough bark of the oak tree and looked Jack in his milk chocolate colored eyes.

“You wanted to talk?” Jack looked down at his feet. He was shifting them against the gravel, kicking slightly at the weeds that grew out of the cracks. Jack was nervous.

“Yeah,” I breathed out and tried to think of where to start but it was hard. It’s hard to admit something you’ve buried inside of yourself. I tried to think of what to say and how to say it. But even thinking about it made my palms sweat. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to crawl into bed and forget that situation ever happened. It took awhile for me to build up the courage but it was now or never, and the words tumbled out.“I... like you.” I pierced my lips and tried to read Jack.

It took him a moment. I could tell. His eyes still locked with mine narrowed in confusion and then looked back down at his red converse. His hands were in his pockets and his feet were still shifting slightly. It took him a moment, but then he answered, “Look,” Jack started but then he paused for a minute. He looked up at the tree branches above, avoiding eye contact, and struggled to find the words just as I had. “Stella. I like you too but I don’t know if I like you like that.” I narrowed my eyes this time and gaped. My heart shattered like glass, debris cutting me from the inside, slicing my throat impairing my speech. I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. It was like a black hole formed from Jack’s words and was sucking the entirely of my world into its dark abyss.

What?

He bit his lip waiting for me to answer. I didn’t.