Prologue
There is only searing pain and a lonely sort of darkness that surrounds me. I don’t know how I got here or why it hurts so much. All I know is that I can’t do anything but curl up in a fetal position and let out pathetic whimpers and mewls anymore.
How do I get out of here?
“She’s almost completed the process. They’ve nearly finished growing.” I could hear a muffled voice. It was resonant and gruff, but it still caused me to get excited, nervous and anxious all at once. I hadn’t heard anybody’s voice in a long time. Suddenly a calmer, lighter voice responded.
“Do they look okay? We’ve had multiple mutilations over the past few weeks.” There was an eerie silence for a while and I thought the voices had left, or had possibly just been a figment of my imagination. After being trapped in this place for so long, I’m pretty sure no one could be completely sure that they were sane.
I had begun questioning mine after not being able to differenciate between my dreams and when I was awake. Then again, it’s hard to tell the difference between nightmares and this place.
“They’re beautiful. She’s a good specimen. Alfred made a good choice with her. Nobody else wanted to pick her, however he insisted.” I was unable to understand what they were talking about. What was beautiful? Who is a good specimen, and what for? Who is Alfred?
There were multiple questions reeling in my mind, but I was unable to pinpoint which one held the highest importance. Even if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to speak it, my throat too dried out and sore to speak any longer.
“Good. I’ll be sure to reward him later.” The lighter voices responses sounded almost heavenly to me. After only hearing dreadful silence and my pained screams, it almost felt like a blessing to hear the smoothness of another human’s voice. “Since she’s nearly complete I want her dorm room prepared. Once it’s ready and she arrives there, report to me, understand? I would like to speak to her first.”
“Y-Yes sir.” The other voice stuttered out his reply. I could hear their footsteps walking away and I wanted to call out to the voices, tell them to stay. I didn’t want them to leave.
Once the footsteps completely faded away, I let out a choked sob.
I’m alone again.
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140,121 Literary Works • 673,026 Reviews
This was great. I loved the ending and I really can't wait to read more. So many questions unanswered but that is a good thing because that gets the reader hooked. I definitely am! I can't wait to read on. I really want to know what happens next and where the character is. This is such an interesting start to a plot and I cant wait to find out where it leads. Please write more.
HOLY SH%T THIS IS COOLIO!
Keep up the good work pretty! 
Looking forward to seeing more soon!
I love it, I wonder what they are? Like what they're making or something? OHMYGOD! I'm so excited to read more dude, so excited!
I want to know who they are, will someone fall in love with someone, I love romance stories! And this one (I don't actually know if its romance yet but still) would be the cooliest romance story everererer!
I don't have anything to critisise you about, so I guess thats a good thing
Xoxox
- Charley.
Holy mother of god, I'm in love.
This sounds amazing! I think you should keep going, 'I'm alone again.'
It all sounds so dramatic I love it!! :')
'How do I get out of here?' It makes you want to know more and more! Like get out of where? Whats happening? Who's speaking? What does she look like? Ugh! I'm gonna die if you don't upload more soon! Haha
If you ever have time check out my Liam Payne Fan Fiction that's coming out soon?
I'm also on a reading website named 'Wattpad' and my name is 'AnonymousUndaTheMask' if you want to check out my stuff there. Cheers. xoxo
-HiddenUnderAMask
This is a really good start to what sounds like a very interesting story.
Grammatically speaking, you are perfect. The same applies to your spelling. There were no mistakes as far as I could see, and so for that I commend you.
There were a few things that I noticed, and truth be told I have to admit that these are more personal suggestions than anything else.
1)"All I know is that I can’t do anything but curl up in a fetal position and let out pathetic whimpers and mewls anymore. "
This sentence is technically perfect, however when I read it something didn't seem right. When I looked at it again, I realized that that last word, "Anymore," seemed out of place and like it didn't belong there. I don't really know how to explain it, but reading it just feels wrong to me. My suggestion is to remove the 'anymore' and replace it with 'now' after 'that'.
2)"There was an eerie silence for a while and I thought the voices had left, or had possibly just been a figment of my imagination"
Once again, technically perfect, but I feel that the words, "perhaps had" should replace, "had possibly". The extra syllable that is in "possibly" makes the sentence feel a little to long to me.
This was a good start, but I kind wish that we had more background for the MC (main character). You'll probably get into that more as you continue this story, but to me this felt like a little more of a prologue ending than a prologue beginning.
All things aside, I enjoyed reading this and I can't wait for you to continue. And if you don't want to take my suggestions, that's okay. I only hope that this review helps in some small way.
Happy Writing!
HT