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16+ Violence

So Many Lost Ones - III

by manilla


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

Summary from before - Tino, Lukas's boyfriend, goes missing. Lukas doesn't know that Tino's being abused by his new boyfriend. Lukas had previously given information to the police, but when no results turn up, he realizes the address he submitted was wrong. Every minute he wastes lowers Tino's rate of survival. Now, Tino has left Lukas a series of clues via video camera, and it is up to Lukas to decide what to do with them.

--

There is no video after that. Lukas checks the date of the video...One day before Tino went missing. His throat is dry, and his blood goes cold as he flicks off the camera. After a series of mental calculations, he decides that the police have no use for most of the film - It doesn’t reveal a clue about his location other than that it is the man’s house, and that he was last seen a day ago.

Lukas leaves a quick message to the police forwarding the last and most important video and information about it.

He exhales, hating the prospect of being powerless to control his fate. Thousands of people go missing and are never heard from again. It takes an excruciating seven years for them to be pronounced dead, too. Tino can’t be dead, right? He’ll pull through. He won’t drink it out, he’ll stay sober. As tears burn Lukas’s eyes, he reaches for the paisley pillow and squeezes it tight, curling up into the fetal position on his lover’s bed.

As Lukas sighs, he feels something crinkly taped on the backside of the pillow, however, and he flips it over. It’s a blank piece of paper.

Lukas rips it off and reads aloud the rounded penmanship: “You won’t find me at my filming location. Not at his house. You know where to find me.”

A sick feeling churned in Lukas’s stomach, and he felt nausea take over him. Perhaps it’s the fear of being thrown into relentless suspense again...He’ll take a walk. A long one, back to 255 Karlazen Boulevard.

--

“You escaped.”

There’s no cover-up, there’s no lie.

“Where have you been this entire time?” the man asks, enunciating every syllable. Perspiration is running down Tino’s back as he struggles for the right words. “W-Where have you been?”

The man narrows his eyes. “What do you mean, where have I been?”

“ I went out for a-a str-stroll,” Tino replies, bowing his head low. This is it. Gather your courage, Tino. This is it.

“I was never gone, you liar!” The man snaps, shoving Tino back with a single hand. The Finn doesn’t stumble, though, and regains his composure even though his body cries out otherwise.

“Whether or not you left, take this,” Tino whispers, handing the man a small canister. “You haven’t been taking it.”

The man scoffs as he takes the canister and pops it open, spilling the contents into his palm.

“Lukas, swallow them,” Tino urges, placing two soft, badly cut hands around the Norwegian’s bare neck, which is like a thin thread he will have to tear. He wears the softest, most convincing expression a future murderer would would wield.

Lukas Bondevik stops staring at Tino like a predatory hunter, and his vision glazes over.

“How long did it take you?” Tino snapped, tears burning in his eyes. A lump had began to form in his throat, but he pushed it down. The only tears shed tonight would be Lukas’s, in his own regret. How long did it take for his anger to boil over? Why did he have to snap so fast, so recent?

He hurt you. Pressed a knife against your neck. Beat you until you couldn’t walk.

The Finn shrieks, taking the chance to barrel down on Lukas and viciously shove two pills down his throat. Lukas’s head hits the sharp edge of a table as he goes down, releasing pained groan.

“Swallow them,” Tino snarls, grabbing his ex’s hair and sharply ripping at it. Choking, Lukas gags on Tino’s fingers and weakly turns his head to the side. His eyes roll back and forth in their sockets; He can’t last this.

--

Everything burns.

I thought I loved you.

I thought I loved me for loving you.

I didn’t mean this; Why must you?

--

Lukas reluctantly complies, feeling the bitter, smooth texture of the pill upon his tongue, and Tino’s nails digging into his flesh. He tastes blood and attempts vainly to spit the iron tang out at Tino, but he’s is too slow.

--

Murderer.

Abuser.

King of lies.

Why did I let you?

--

The shorter blond reaches for a roll of clear masking tape beneath the bed, ripping a long stril off. Before Lukas can scramble away, Tino grabs his ankle and tapes it down while reaching for the other. Lukas yelps at this, giving in to the tears, watching his wrist get snapped to the side.

Tino kicks his opposer’s head in place. Lukas’s eyes flutter, and he sees stars.

--

What is your point in this?

This not a victory for you.

This is a loss for the both of us.

--

Why aren’t you fighting?

It’s not the pills.

Weren’t you the one that told me to fight until the end?

We’re a bunch of hypocrites, liars, and thieves.

Why are you this way?

--

Lukas lies on the floor, still, eyes up staring at the ceiling. He does not regard the mess of a human being beside him, with a raging, blackened heart and a lust for revenge. A pool of Lukas’s own blood has formed on the ground from the abuse, yet he cannot wipe it away.

A needle pricks his flesh, and everything goes quiet.

--

Have you had your revenge?


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Thu Nov 01, 2018 1:52 am
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Aley wrote a review...



So, with only having the summary up above to go by, this seems like a really cool murder story. I mean, we have an obvious murder from this point of view showing us what happened, but I wonder how we got to see it, what do we know? What actually happened.

I hope that the first parts are describing how things began such as describing when it was discovered he was gone, if they found any evidence going into this, that sort of thing. I'm currently into murder podcasts, so I can see this fitting in to one of those stories. It's common for people to be killed by loved ones, so I can see this working. I think that the police not getting all of the videos is kind of lame because no one can determine what is evidence and what isn't until they know the crime. It's not up to the friend to determine if the video has any clues or not, it is up to him to give it to the police because they might need it for other reasons, like proving the boyfriend has a pattern of behavior, fear for life, or so on. He's hindering the police from doing their job by withholding the videos.

As for your writing style, I feel like I don't understand the italics, the bold, and the regular text. I get it that they're different points of view almost, and that the bold straight and the bold italics fit together to sort of make a poem, but why not include it at the start or end? I've read song fanfiction which does this before and I don't like it there either, so I'd suggest either working those thoughts into the actual story, or pulling it and putting it at the end, in it's own chapter, or getting rid of it.

All in all, great job getting me involved in this story. It took me a while to read because I had other things to do, but I came back to it to see how it ended because of the writing.




manilla says...


The italics and bold are just the different character's thought alternating. Thank you for the review!



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Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:47 am
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LRDay says...



"Weren’t you the one that told me to fight until the end?" What powerful line, what a powerful story! This is deep, and riveting. I like the artistic use of bold font and italics, and I especially like your proper use of dialogue punctuation. Nothing irritates me more than poor punctuation! Bravo.




manilla says...


Thank you for the review C:



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Mon Oct 01, 2018 2:19 am
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fraey wrote a review...



Hey, there manilla!

Popping in to give a review on this work of yours. I went over the other parts of this, so I hope I didn't miss anything!

Let's see. Even if Lukas is running on an apparent time limit, I still think he would have reacted a little more emotionally, or at least not be able to turn off his feelings to do a few calculations real quick. I think that it would make more sense for a grieving significant other to freeze and maybe send everything they could think of to the police, instead of having the ability to actually think it through. I guess that could be up to the character, but that doesn't seem as realistic to me.

One tidbit: I'm confused as to why the address is so important? That's supposed to be the location of Berwald, or so I thought, and that's where I thought Lukas found the camera and the videos he just watched. I didn't think he had left that house at any point of the opening scene, but I could be wrong.

Continuing on, I'm thrown by the line of it taking seven years for someone to be pronounced dead? That doesn't make too much sense to me, as I guess this is set in modern times and all.

Next, is the italics scene, which seems to throw this whole story out the window in saying that Lukas was the bad guy originally? If I'm reading this correctly? One part of this section that confuses me is the line of "W-where have you been?" I thought this was spoken by the once-unnamed figure to Tino, but the man stuttering doesn't seem easily intimidated. I'm wondering if that was a typo or meant to be in a separate line for Tino to say instead.

I'm pretty thrown off by the whole Tino knocks out Lukas and drugs him and kills him, I'm guessing, or at least keeps him sedated for a time. If Lukas was this evil guy and suggested by what I assume is a flashback by Tino, then does he just not remember doing this to his boyfriend? Why the forced drugs? Does that keep Lukas under control, or is Tino the true abuser of this relationship, and then Berwal or something was the one messed up to him?

Also, is that Ber's dead body (almost dead body) next to Lukas at the end? Sheesh, this had a weird twist.

Well, I think that's all for now, but I'm curious as to how many more parts (or none) you have to this story.

Hope this helped!




manilla says...


Hi,
In the actual doc I changed Berwald to be some mysterious man who I could later reveal as Lukas himself.

Hope that helps a bit. Thanks for the review C:




If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over.
— Yiddish proverb