Hi!! it was good, but quite common. I've notice you like rhymes, but sometimes rhymes don't fit in your poem and sometimes when you look for a word that rhymes with another one, the poem becomes boring and the reader looses the sense of it. (not that yours is, because I really like it). I think it tranmits the feeling though, because from what I understand of it, the guy is a fantasy, a dream. I think the poem itself is really god,maybe some changes would do some good to it. I like the way you write, although the rhyme sometimes confuses me.
So, to conlcude, I think the poem is good,and i hope you keep writing.
pudin
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Reviews: 180
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