Published November 7, 2009
This is my first time writing poetry on here, so please tell me if I should continue...
The stinging wet crystals that roll down our cheeks
The water that makes your eyes blurry and weak
Tears
When you're laughing like crazy, or very sad
Or maybe it's just a simple yawn or sneeze
Or maybe it's for when you're mad
Or who knows what
Tears will appear and
Sometimes you'll want to hide but,
Maybe you'll want to show that
You're sad
Or mad
Or very glad
But every once in a while
A tear will appear
Maybe cold or hot
We may scream
We may pout
But, usually, a tear will come about
And the cries we send
And, eventually, end
We might feel as if our eyes are on fire
Or, maybe just be very tired
The stinging wet crystals that roll down our cheeks
The water that makes your eyes blurry and weak
Tears.
Thank you to anyone who critiques or comments. I appreciate it greatly!!!!! 
copyright Nov. 7 2009 maegardens
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,679 Literary Works • 673,590 Reviews
I really enjoyed this! I thought that it was written well, but have you thought of splitting it up into different stanzas? It might make it flow easier.
I think that the first three lines were the best! I can't wait to hear more of your poetry!
~Poem
I would say no elipses, in the poem or the title. It just looks odd, to me.
That was a cute piece of poetry; I did enjoy it.
THe rhyming scheme was a little whack but It didn't bother me at all. I'm also a newbie at poetry; and I posted my first piece here just like you. I have to say, I get a special kind of joy from writing poetry as opposed to prose. It feels freer.
But anyways,
keep at it. A gold star for you.
Thanks!!
OMFG YESS YOU SHOULD KEEP WRITING!!! very very very good. the only thing i would change is i would put an elipsis after the word Tears ( both times so i looks like "Tears...")
Thanks!
I think, yes you should keep writting, is a beautiful poem you wrote. Keep writting you do it well.