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12+ Mature Content

some of my poetry

by mads08


Getting off the bus to dump a soda

Running towards the strip of grass between the two pavements

Wondering if your friends behind you think you’re gonna jump into the road

Wondering if you should

The soda leaves the pavement sticky.


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9 Reviews

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Wed Feb 01, 2023 9:23 pm
Jasperbiscuitt wrote a review...



Hmmm. I am going to assume you to be a bus rider, and one with these experiences as well. I am also going to assume you to be much more in touch with reality than many other people. I think interesting that you paid such close attention to something so small. I think its interesting that you wonder what your friends think. I also think you want them to think that you might to prove in any way that they do care about you.

I think it would be a great idea if you wanted to further this and create a background (or even a sequel poem). You could make a collection and tell a story. Just a thought! Loved the poem!




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229 Reviews

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Tue Jan 31, 2023 7:19 pm
foxmaster wrote a review...



here to leave a review:
very interesting poem. I am not usually you know, into poetry, but this one certainly catches my eye.
"Wondering if your friends behind you think you’re gonna jump into the road

Wondering if you should"
veeeery interesting, and also humorous. I do not know whether you were trying to be funny, or not, but I still liked it.
That's all for now. Please read and review my story, "The accidental Magic." By the way, DID you get points for reviewing your own work?
-foxmaster




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Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:50 pm
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mads08 says...



i wonder if i get points for reviewing my own work. Anywho im just gonna put some stuff here that I would like to mention. I wrote this poem in my head, so when i got it down onto paper for the first time, it didn't sound right. There were many different lines that i wanted to add but didn't because I wanted this to be really short. I wrote it based on a real experience, when i went to burger king while on a band trip and when we were about to leave i got off the bus to dump my drink and wondered if the bus driver behind me thought i was gonna jump into the road. Then I spent the rest of the bus ride home thinking up this poem. so yeah that's basically all I have to say. Thanks for reading.
im adding characters so this can count as a review qwertyuioplkjhgfdsazxcvbnmmnbvcxzasdfghjklpoiuytrewq




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Points: 104
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:48 pm
mads08 says...







There is nothing to fear from someone who shouts.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart