Mother

Flower~Child:

I have been broken a lot,

I think in this part that you have contradicted yourself. You say that nobody See's your tears, and yet when you are broken then they see them a lot, and this confuses me.

What I was getting at was that no one sees her tears on a regular basis, it's when she's broken they see them.

I won't stop crying

I like your imagery in this, I think it makes you start to understand the poem.

Thank you very much.

Beautiful innocent people die,

In this line I don't think it goes with the poem at all. You are talking about being raped and then you change it to people dying.

I was giving examples of when she cries.

To teach them,

How are your tears going to teach them? Are they going to see you and say, oh I did this and it was wrong? Or are you going to see the person? Please explain.

You cannot see "Mother." She is not a physical person. She is the feeling and heart of the world. When she cries, she cries blood. The blood comes from the people who bleed it, her people.

I cry blood.

I cry blood confuses me, maybe it's just me.

Read comment above.

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I would like to say thank you for viewing my poem and giving honest feed back. We need more people like you! I love it!

[quote="mackenzie"]Mother

You have never seen my tears,
Not how I cry, anyway

I cry not of love or loss,
But for the world,
For the peril,
The evil,
Everything
My tears kept hidden
Only shown when broken
I have been broken a lot,
I think in this part that you have contradicted yourself. You say that nobody See's your tears, and yet when you are broken then they see them a lot, and this confuses me.
More and more of me cries,
I cry from deep inside
And it is painful,
I wish for it to stop,
It never will
I am a prisoner of my own child
Until this ends,
I won't stop crying
I like your imagery in this, I think it makes you start to understand the poem.

Although a secret,
You can see my tears
When a woman is raped,
My tears flow,
When innocent people,
Beautiful innocent people die,
In this line I don't think it goes with the poem at all. You are talking about being raped and then you change it to people dying.
My eyes well up
When evils of the world conspire,
Tears flow freely
Freely with no end
My tears are needed though,
Needed to show the people what they have done
To teach them,
How are your tears going to teach them? Are they going to see you and say, oh I did this and it was wrong? Or are you going to see the person? Please explain.
Make them understand
They will not listen,
So I will cry

You have not seen my tears,
Not how I cry, anyway
I am mother,
I cry blood.
I cry blood confuses me, maybe it's just me.

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Anyway I liked this besides my little rant above haha. I hope to see more of your writings.

-Flower-

Try writing about crying without the word 'cry'.