Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Art » Culture


Season of Waiting

by lyinginzen


Every year on Easter, I crucified myself.

From an outsider's perspective, it may have very well looked like Heaven, but it felt like Hell.

Sometimes when it felt like Hell, I started seeing glimpses of Heaven.

And so I observed Heaven all throughout morning, noon, and night.

Eventually, I always caught myself burning and about to crash because I had never felt so thirsty waiting on Jesus.

As the fire-ravaged my throat, I woke up in the barren wilderness and felt kind of alone that feels independent at first.

Then it just felt kind of lonely.

Grieving my entire past and future, I ate Herself.

Myself.

With a relieved, overwhelmed, completely overjoyed smile; I couldn't remember His name and I didn't want to be held anymore.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
17 Reviews


Points: 96
Reviews: 17

Donate
Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:05 pm
Draculus wrote a review...



My first thought when I saw the word "poem" in this writing description was, "Yeah, more poetry, Drak, more poetry for your soul!"
Then, when I saw the form of this poem, I thought, "Wait, this is not literally a poem, if I know something about poetry at all."
And at last, when I read it, my mind was like, "..."

I just need to say that this writing is very interesting and quite new for me. After reading it, I now can say that yes, it IS a poem. It's a poem of feeling, a poem of soul, of a soul that has an important feeling hidden deep inside it. In the very end, we find out what that feeling really is. The hero of the poem suffers quietly and humbly. It is shown by using great phrases that describe the mental state, and I really love the way the author has done it. Maybe you can't call it poetry as from the literal point of view, but any person familiar with the situation will call it poetry of feelings and emotions, but not just any emotions - deep and true emotions, indeed. In simply constracted sentences I felt the strength of those emotions, as it often happens in real life, when you talk to a person and don't hear pompous words or loud complains, but you still feel how much that person grieves. The easier the way of describing a hero's state, the more powerful that describing is. And the author of this writing has done a great job!
I hope you will write even more of this, because your potential and talant have to find a right place to live. I think something like this poem, which looks rather like a diary record than a writing (it makes me feel myself even closer to the hero), is your strong point, dear author.
So don't stop writing!

Sincerely yours,
Drak.




lyinginzen says...


Thank you for your kinds words! They really mean a lot to me. I find it interesting that you pointed out that the poem reads like a diary record rather than simply writing. I never looked at it like that before.



User avatar
37 Reviews


Points: 2848
Reviews: 37

Donate
Fri Mar 06, 2020 11:19 am
ChrisDixon wrote a review...



Hi lyinginzen! I am here for a review.

I really enjoyed reading your works. It has amazing, and deep describiction.

I love your poem, but I want to add few things.

First of all, in poetry you always need to go to the next stanza after the comma. For example,"Sometimes when it felt like Hell, I started seeing glimpses of Heaven." can be fixed.

In poems you don't need semi-columns. You put it in this part: Sometimes when it felt like Hell, I started seeing glimpses of Heaven.
I are way better than I am. I never had any idea to write a poem about heaven, hell, or Jesus our savior.

You know when you write, you write: First,blah blah blah. You put comma after the "first". So what I mean to say or rather want you to know is that if you are writing "Then" you need commas too.

In poetry you always need commas, and it sometime dosen't make sense. But it dosen't make sense when you only read the first stanza. Therefore, I mean to say that one of the most important thing about peom is that it's different from sentences. Sentences you need subject,predicate, and verb(s). In contrast, poetry has kind of beauty that each stanza is short and that makes the reader want to read on.

If you are making a poem with sentence like diamante or other kinds, you can use subject, verb, and predicate to withstand the poem.

I loved how you discribe your feelings, making the reader imagine the scenes. The title is one of the best title I've ever seen. "Season of waiting", it persuades people to read it.


Again I enjoyed your prodigious poetry. No offense in all the words above. And I hope I can read more of your works.

Keep on writing ^_^
>Chris Dixon




lyinginzen says...


Thank you for the criticism! I appreciate it. This was the first poem I have ever officially written. Can you believe that? So, I'm really new at this whole writing poetry thing and I'm still learning each and every day.




If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
— Lemony Snicket