Samson's Testimony

I was a bit worried that I was going to have to tell you that this isn't what the story of Sampson is about, but when I got to the end, I thought you did a good job of portraying what must have been going through Sampson's mind.

There's not a lot of descriptive language, but that's okay since the poem is more trying to point out one thing and be specific about it, which it did.

I can't help but feel bad for Sampson, all he was doing was running and loving and then she was gone, and more importantly, so was his hair. I wonder which he was more upset about?

In any case, good work.

Thank you luxaeterna!

Hello, luxaeterna!
RachelLeeAnn here to review.

I really liked this piece. It was a little short, but sometimes that's for the better.
It had been a while since reading the story of Samson and Delilah. I had to go re-read it to make sense of your poem.

This whole thing was well written; readers can feel the emotion behind Samson's words. The only nitpick I have is this:

The last line. While yes, it is very crucial and important to the whole passage of Sampson and Delilah, it's a little out of place. The whole poem is smooth and even, and then there's this random question of "Where's my hair?" It almost makes readers laugh at the bizarreness of it. If humor was your intention there, then by all means keep it! But if you wanted to keep with the rhythm of the rest of the poem, I suggest you find a different way to phrase your last line.

Great job on this! I really enjoyed it.
Keep writing!
-Rae

I'm sort of confused by this poem. Especially in the line, "Where's my hair?" I sort of got most of the poem, but when I got to the last line, I lost it all. Does it have some sort of deep meaning that I'm missing?

I'm pretty sure the two people running is a metaphor for their relationship, so I'll review based on that idea.

I think having that be the metaphor is a really interesting idea, and if you expand the piece a bit, it could be really good. I think you should mention more bumps in the run or smooth areas, linking the two ideas together more.

In addition, I think you should include more punctuation in general, but especially in the first stanza, to show breaks between the different thoughts, unless you want them to flow together as one large idea.

But I kept running
But this time alone
Here, I'd just remove the second "but" to help fluency and get rid of repetition.

In general, great idea and great poem, but to me, it was confusing. Can you explain to me the meaning of the last line? Because that really got me.