friends

by luvthestarz09
  • October 8, 2008
  • Other

Friends till the end we'll be

I know this for sure.

we've been through a lot but what ever it was

we got throught it.

we fought

we cried

but in the end we were still friends

i missed you when you left

when we didn't talk

i felt like something was missing

it hurt to think it might be the end but

something kept telling me hold on it's not over

you were there for me when i was down

made me smile

chased my fears away

you're my best friend and i couldn't ask for a better one

i love you and miss you

friends we'll be till the end

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Rawr?
Review
Rawr? wrote a review · Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:31 pm

Not necessarily orriginal, but still good.
Keep up the good work and make it more your own, dont use stuff that has been said before just in a different way!

And yes miyaviloves is right, you do need to critique two other pieces of work before you submit your own. 2:1 ratio. thats how it works on YWS.

User avatar
miyaviloves
Review
miyaviloves wrote a review · Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:25 pm

Ok first things first, you need to review two pieces of work before you post your own. Its a rule here at the YWS, and the mroe you review other peoples work the more reviews you will get on your own, its also a good way of making friends here, so don't for get to do that.

As for this piece I'm afriad that I didn't think it was original at all, it has all been said before in one way or another. There is also no punctuation, maybe you chose not to capitalize or add any punctuation for a reason but I just thought I should point that out.

As it stands I think it is a bit bland with no depth, if this person really means that much to you try and show it more.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me, I didn't mean to come across too harsh there :P

Meevs
x



Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way.
— Isabel Quintero