Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

The Perfect Cruise (This is A Dream)

by lunagirl357, me


This is a story that is about a dream I had then it exploded into an adventure. Some of the characters in this story are made up here. Here are all who will be in this story so you know who is talking and who they are!

Me of course

Sam (best friend)

Alyssa (Sister)

Sherry (best friend)

Kyle (Boyfriend)

Noah (friend)

Cody (friend)

Other characters

Rachel (friend)

Troy ( high school musical character)

Gabriella (high school musical character)

Chad (high school musical character)

Kadin (camera guy)

De'Anthony (camera guy)

Chapter 1 Before the Cruise

One day my friends and I were all hanging out at the beach having fun. When suddenly we heard thunder. We didn't think too much of it and ignored it and continued to have fun. Then it started to rain very hard and it got really windy! We all thought it would be fun to play in the rain. Then we went into the water which was a big mistake!

Then the wind sent a huge wave and it knocked us into the water. I hit my head on a rock and was swept away by a big wave! I tried to swim to get back to my friends but I was too far out at this time and grew tired! I passed out and when I woke up I saw my friends had all gotten swept out with me into the water! I was scared but then Kyle swam up to me and grabbed me and asked “are you ok. " I said yeah, but I have a headache." Kyle looked at my head and saw why! He said, " you have a big bruise on your head." I, of course, had to touch it!

I was soon surrounded by my friends. We all floated together for a while. Then finally, a huge cruise ship spotted us and we were rescued. The crew took us to the to be checked out by the onboard doctor. His name was Dr. Otis and he told me "you need stitches on your head"!

Kyle held my hand while Dr. Otis put the stitches in my head. He told us to go find the captain's quarters and talk to Captain Stuart. We did as instructed when we arrived at his quarters he was already standing outside the hatch. I introduced everyone to him. He said, "you guys were rescued after that terrible storm right?" Cody answered him.

Captain Stuart asked us " are you guys hungry"? We replied with “yeah” at the same time which made him laugh. He said, " well then let's go get you some food on the Dining Deck". He said, "after you eat, meet me on the Lounge Deck so I can show you around".

When we got up to the Dining Deck, there were so many choices. We got our food and ate. Afterward, we went to meet Captain Stuart. He told us "welcome to the greatest cruise in the world, the best part about you guys joining our adventure is that everything you see is free! Even the cabins you will be staying in while you are aboard. Also now that you are here you will stay. I also want you to all know you can call me Justin"!

He took us to the housing deck where our cabins were located. We chose our cabins, went in to discover that our closets and dressers were stocked with new clothes and shoes. I thought to myself “wow these people know how to take care of their passengers!” Then I thought it might be a good time to call my parents to let them know I was OK, give them my P.O. box address and tell them I wouldn't be coming home for a long time.

Afterward, I went to the Lounge Deck to find all my friends sitting around just relaxing. I went to sit down by Kyle and he could see I was a little upset because I wouldn't be going home anytime soon.

Sam has seen Kyle's arm around me then came over to see what was going on. Kyle told him and Sam sat beside me as well and put his arm around me also. Sam looked at Kyle then told me " Hey sis we have a great way to cheer you up".

I looked at them confused, they smiled. I knew what was about to happen, but before I could get up and run they tightened their grips, next thing I know I am on the deck fighting them both off from tickling!

Justin comes up to the lounge deck and sees me being tortured and just smiles. Then he told the boys to settle down and helped me up off the deck. I thanked him then he took us to a few different places! There was an arcade, bowling, a race car track, a water park, a movie theater, laser tag, a roller rink, a color run track, Then we passed a cabin that did not have a name and Levi asked what it was. Justin said " why don't I show you it will be easier to explain. Don't worry anything I tell you to do will never hurt or be inappropriate"!

We just looked at each other then at Justin he instructed us to go in the cabin so we went in. As we entered the cabin, we were instructed to lay on the deck anywhere we wanted, then more people came in the cabin and just smiled down at us. We looked at each other then back at them. We then realised that they were from the movie “High School Musical.” They just smiled at us while we were laying on the deck. They broke up into pairs and stood over us then next thing we know we are all being attacked with tickles. This went on for a few seconds then they all stopped. We were so shocked and Justin who was laughing now said: "this cabin is called the tickle chamber". We could not stop laughing after that. After we were done exploring the ship it was late so we went to our cabins for the night! Our beds were comfortable.

Chapter 2 One fun Day

We spent the day at the water park. After breakfast of course! We met at the park. When we got there. The Girls and I wanted to go to the slides but the guys wanted to go to the human water cannon.

So we went to watch them. Sam went first. When he got shot out of the canon he acted like superman then when he was almost ready to hit the water in the pool he curled up into a real cannonball! It made all us girls laugh so hard!

Then Kyle was next before he went up he blew me a kiss which made everyone say “awe” I blushed and thought it was awkward at first but i did like him so I caught the air kiss and put it on my cheek! He laughed as I blew him one back.

Kyle was not as brave as Sam. He screamed all the way to the pool! Which made me laugh. He Then did a flip and landed in the pool! When he got back by us he glared at me then grabbed my sides and made me scream! Then Noah did a laying back type thing then twisted like a torpedo and dove into the pool! Cody on the other hand did somersaults until he hit the water!

The girls and I laughed so hard that we had tears flowing down or faces. When all the guys returned by us they discovered that we were crying we were laughing so hard so they all thought it would be funny to make us regret laughing at them. So Kyle and Sam pinned me down then Noah pinned Sherry then Cody pinned Alyssa and tickled us for laughing at them! We all called truce and they helped us up then we all went to the slides.

The girls and I grabbed our raft and went to the top. We were instructed to get in the raft and keep all hands and feet in the raft at all times. The chaperone that was at the top pushed the raft. We screamed all the way down the slide. It was a fun ride! We heard the guys laughing at us so we planned to get revenge! When we approached them Rachel said, "did you guys think we couldn't hear you." They looked at each other and took off running!

Before they could get too far we tackled them into the water and splashed them! Kyle carried me to the big bucket that fills with water and dumps on you. I tried to fight but he had a good grip on me. He held me there until it dumped on us both! We were pretty hungry after that. So we went to the Dining Deck to eat. After that, it was really late so we headed back to our cabins to rest for the night.

Chapter 3 The Next Day

We woke up the next morning and after breakfast. We decided to go drive go-carts. When we got to the go-carts I was shy because I didn't know how to drive. Justin took me to the practice track. While the others went on the regular track for a few laps before I got on with them.

When I felt comfortable enough to get on the track. Justin had everyone line up for a race. He said, "The winner will receive a trophy afterward". We went speeding around the track I was in first until the very last lap. Sam sped up and drove in front and took first place and we cheered as he received his trophy!

We were getting hot again! Noah suggested that we go to the water park to cool off. We changed and met at the slides. We all wanted to go down them this time. We selected the largest raft they had this time.

Zoom down the slide we go when all the sudden the raft tips and I fall out! Here I am now hanging on to the raft while zooming down the slide! When we finally got to the bottom. Kyle helped me up and asked, "are you OK?" I could not answer, I was laughing too hard.

Alicia asked, " Can we go to the water war cabin since we are already in our swimsuits"! Sam said, "sure why not". Were off to the water war cabin. We made a challenge on the way there, girls versus boys. The losers have to try a new ride at the water park when the crew heard of the challenge they wanted in it as well. So, of course, we let them. We got armed and waited for the first shot to be fired.

Sam fired the first shot the water war was on! We stayed tied throughout the game. When Gabrielle and I were suddenly cornered byTroy and Kyle! They took the lead and won!

We exited the water war cabin and went back to the water park. All of the girls wanted to try the zip-line. I decided to go first because all the other girls were too nervous. I climbed the ladder to the top and got strapped in! Justin pushed me down the line I screamed. When I reached the end Kyle caught me in the pool then kissed me. The other girls took their turn and the other guys caught them too.

After the zip-line, Gabrielle asked, " do you guys want to come to a party tonight on the Skydeck"! We all responded at the same time! Which of course made Gabrielle laugh!

We wanted to rest for a while until the party! So we went to the shower and went to the lounge deck to relax! The mail person came and brought us our mail!

When I received my letter it said:

Dear Missy,

We hope you are having fun and staying out of trouble on the cruise please keep us posted. We love you very much and miss you!

Love, Mom, and Dad!

After I read my letter. I tried to hold back tears, It was harder than it looked Sam heard me. He didn't like seeing me sad. I just sat quietly when he came over by me and tried to calm down but I was far past that! When Sam asked me for the third time what was bothering me! I said, "I read my letter and it made me upset". Sam asked me "do you need my special hug". I just put my head on his shoulder. He pulled me into a big bear hug and held me until I felt better.

When Kyle looked at Sam hugging me it made him curious! He came over and asked "What's wrong sis". Sam answered for me because I was too upset. Then Kyle whispered something to Sam, then sat down by me and put his arms around me too. Kyle said " we have a way to cheer you up" with a smile on his face! I looked at Sam who was smiling also. I was so confused as to what was about to happen but then I remembered from earlier!

Before I could even think about running It was too late! I was once again on the deck being tickled by my brothers! Kyle said between the tickles "sorry sis you know we don't like seeing you upset!”

After 10 seconds they finally stopped! I said, "I just knew you guys were going to do that". Then the others gathered around me as Kyle helped me off the deck! Alicia asked " are you feeling better". I responded looking at my brothers "um I guess so". Kyle had other plans. He grabbed my side and made me laugh again! He just glared at me.

We showered then met at the stairs to go up to the Sky-deck! We got up there to greet Troy and Gabriella! I said, “thank you for the invite"!

Chad came over and said, " you guys are welcome anytime we throw a party up here you are invited". He went and started the music. We went to the dance deck and the cupid shuffle was the first song playing. When that song was over another song came on. I Will Always Love You!

Kyle pulled me in closer to him! I felt so safe and secure in his arms! I didn't want to let go of him. When that song ended Kyle surprised me with a kiss on my cheek! I asked, "why did you kiss me". He responded " because after being here on the cruise and spending so much time with you. It made me realize I really like you and I wish I could be more than just your friend! I responded, " wow really I had a feeling you did".

He replied " Yeah I was just waiting for the right time, I was also under the impression that you only wanted to be friends. I guess I just needed the right place to tell you I really like you, so what better place than right here and right now in each other's arms will you be my girlfriend!”

I responded by saying “of course I will!” We just stood there hugging each other and dancing. The next song came on it was the cha-cha slide! It was the last song of the night. So we danced to that then went to eat dinner! They had a big buffet put together for us. Fireworks started to go off as we sat to eat dinner with the crew and watched the fireworks.

Then it was really late, and we were so tired. Kyle gave me a piggy back ride back to my cabin! Then he gave me one more kiss. When I got inside I decided to write back to my parents before I went to sleep!

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am doing fine. I am having the time of my life right now. There is so much to do here! They also have awesome places to eat here too. I was asked by Kyle to be his girlfriend! I love you guys and miss you very much! Please tell the family I said hi and I love them thank you!

Love: Missy

Then I went to sleep.

Chapter 4 One relaxing day

I woke up to the smell of bacon this morning! Which made me hungry! So I showered and went up to the Dining Deck. I saw Alicia and Sam. The others were in line getting their food! I got mine then we sat together.

Rachel suggested that we start out the day at the movies. We got snacks and split up. After the movie, we wanted to relax for the day. So we went to the lounge deck to play some cards.

The mail person came by and gave us our mail. I opened my letter and it said:

Dear Missy,

We are glad you are having fun on the cruise. Are you staying out of trouble? We love you girly, stay safe and have fun. Dad said he wants to meet Kyle! We have to go for now we love you and miss you.

Love: Mom and Dad

I tried to hide the tears from everyone, but it was too late Kyle saw me. He came over and put his arm around me, and said: " why are you crying"? I didn't respond at first because I was too upset. Kyle could see right through me.

He said " you can trust me, baby. Tell me what is wrong". I tried saying, "It's nothing baby I don't want to talk about it". He responded and said, "you shouldn’t keep everything in”.

Then I got the attention of Sam who also came over to see why I was crying. He put his arm around me to comfort me. Kyle said," are you going to tell me or am I going to have Sam turn his tickle machine on you". I finally said, " I am just missing my mom and dad is all".

Sam said " why didn't you tell us that before? Now, don't you feel better now you told us"? I said, "Um yeah a little.” They said, " that's it we are not having any more sadness from you!” I was pinned and tickled!

Kyle suggested that we go see Justin and ask permission to have our parents come aboard"! So we went to the captain's quarters to talk with Justin to go back to Michigan to pick them up!

Justin responded, "I thought you would never ask". Which made me cheer up a little more! So Justin set up the time and sent a letter to our parents telling them to meet at the pier on Lake Michigan.

I hugged Kyle very tight and he pinched my sides and said " don't hide things like that from me anymore. Just talk to me baby it is not good to hold all your emotions in. That is why I am here". I responded, "I am sorry baby, but I feel silly crying in front of you when I do tell you I feel like you will laugh at me".

Kyle responded " baby I would never laugh at you for missing your family. I am here to make you laugh, keep you safe and even tickle you. He grabbed my side again. So anytime you feel upset or need a hug or anything come to me and I will hold you". I looked into his eyes with tears of joy in mine and said: " thank you baby I love you".

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for a few more minutes then kissed my forehead then said: " I love you too". Then we went to eat dinner and run through the fountain in the water park. Kyle wanted to run with me so he let me get on his back. After that, we were really tired so we went to our cabins and went to sleep!

Chapter 5 We picked up our parents

We arrived in Michigan the next afternoon and our parents were standing on the pier waiting for us. I ran to my parents and hugged them tightly. They had tears of joy in their eyes! Dad said " we have missed you so much! Kyle grabbed their bags and his parents too! I offered to help but he was so strong, he denied any help!

Justin met us on the lounge deck and told our parents where we were found and that the crew was taking good care of us. He told my parents I had to get stitches because I hit my head on a rock. Then he showed them around a bit and gave them their cabins to stay in!

They went to put their bags in the cabins and we met on the Dining Deck for lunch. We ate and then went back to the lounge deck to just sit and talk for awhile!

Dad asked if he could meet Kyle. He came over to us and took my hand and he said: " I am Kyle sir". Then shook my dad's hand. My dad looked at Kyle. He told him " you better treat her right man! She means the world to us and we do not want anyone taking advantage of her! If I ever find out you hurt her you will regret it"!

Kyle said " she is in good hands, Mr. McNally. She is like a princess to me sir. I love her". That made my parents smile!

After lunch, Sam asked, " is anyone up for water wars"? Then Sam's dad asked ``what is water wars”? We took them to the water war cabin. Then told them to wait by the hatch.

Sam and Levi plotted to surprise our parents. We went and hid while Sam and Levi called them in. They both sprayed our parents and drenched them! We collapsed on the deck laughing! Bill said, " we will get our revenge we promise you that"!

Kadin and De'Anthony came into the cabin with us and they were there filming to make a movie so they could take them home! I wanted to go spend time with my parents so the others wanted to as well!

So we spent a few hours with our parents. Then we went to our cabins to show them our cabins because we didn't when they got there. When I got to my cabin I found a note from Gabriella and Troy! It was an invitation to a party on the Skydeck!

I called everyone's cabins and told them that we were invited to a party on the Skydeck! Kadin and De' Anthony were taking pictures for them to take back and hang on their walls! so they told us to wear something nice.

When we got up to the Sky-deck We danced with our parents for a while. Then “I am already there” started to play! My mom said "remember this night and anytime you feel sad we want you to remember this song on this night. You will remember this and smile"! We hugged then it was time to eat dinner.

We headed back to our cabins to rest for the night! Around lunch time the next day we met up with Justin and he told us "there is one more surprise for you guys before we take your parents home"!

So we followed him to the color run track where Kadin and De' Anthony were waiting with cameras. We saw Justin and gathered around him to see what else he had planned! He said, " we set up a bunch of powdered colored paint"! You guys have to take the powdered paint and throw it on each other".

Down the track, we go picking up paint and pelting each other with it! We met in the middle of the track and Justin told us " take your last bag and throw it in the air and run under it"! We looked like rainbows after that!

We collapsed in the middle of the field while Kadin and De' Anthony ran around us filming as we cheered! We stayed on the field a little while longer to catch our breaths! We finally did. Cody said, “this has been a great adventure with you guys but we all know you have to get back to work.” Then Cody's dad asked, " why are you guys not coming home with us"?

I responded “because we are not ready to come home yet and Justin wants us to stay on for a while”! Justin then came over and said he has one last surprise left before we get to Michigan so he told us to meet up at the Skydeck tonight!

We cleaned up. Then went to dinner and wondered what Justin had planned the entire time we ate! Well, the time finally came to go to the Sky-deck! We got up there and were greeted by Troy. We had a feeling that this would be a night that we would never forget!

The music started to play. Chad came over to the mic and said " time for the fathers and daughters to come out for the first dance! My dad and I started talking and he said:" when did Kyle ask you out"? I answered saying " right here on this dance deck. As “I will always love you ''. When the song ended he kissed me and when I asked him "why did you kiss me, he told me he really liked me and that's when he asked me out!

My dad said " well I am happy for you Missy. We danced quietly to the rest of the song. Chad came over to the mic and said " it's time for Mom's and Son's to dance. They danced to “already there! That song ended and it was time for the families to dance together!

Chad put on the cupid shuffle and we danced the night away. The dance finally came to a close so we sat on the lounge chairs to rest. Then fireworks started going off. Then Kyle came over with his parents and sat by us and we held hands and watched the fireworks!

Justin came over and said the movie was done and our last day with our parents is being added now. So he told us " give us about one hour and meet in the movie theater"!

So we thought it would be a great time to go freshen up and put on PJs. Then Justin called me and said, " we are ready for you guys now"! So we went to the theater and got comfortable! When the movie started I grabbed my mom and dad's hands. We got a little emotional at times but the fun parts made the tears go away!

We were pretty tired after that. Kyle gave me a piggyback ride again to our cabins. I hugged and kissed my parent's goodnight and went into my cabin!

Chapter 6 Revenge Of the parents

Justin gave us the day to ourselves so after breakfast, our parents decided to go spend some time alone to just relax. Little did we know what our parents went to really plot revenge against us from the water war incident! Justin was in on it once he found out what they were up to! Justin came over the loudspeaker and told us to meet by the game cabins we did as instructed.

When we got there our parents surrounded us so we couldn't run! Next thing we know we are getting pelted with colored powder and sprayed water to make the color stick! Then the crew came over and told us they are not done yet!

We were confused as to what was about to happen but we quickly found out! The crew told us to enter the tickle chamber. So we started to fight to get away that didn't last long! With the help of the crew and Justin, we lost that battle!

So here we are pinned by the crew trying to fight them off but they were too overpowering! As we laid there defeated or parents stood over us in triumph. After they tickled us we couldn't help but laugh until it hurt! After that, we called a truce. then went to the movies. After the movie, we went to the dining deck to eat! After we ate mom and dad wanted to go to the lazy river and float around.

When we got there Kyle, his parents, and Sam and his parents were already there! So as we floated around our dads decided it would be fun to start flipping us. So my mom and I swam away from them. We didn't get far when Kyle grabbed me and threw me in the water. He just smiled so when I came to the surface of the water and I splashed him which made him dunk me underwater again. After the lazy river, we were pretty tired so we went to relax in the lounge deck.

Justin came over and said this is not the end of the parent's revenge. Before we could run our parents surrounded us and threw pies at us. We glared at them for that but then laughed when we looked at each other. We then got the idea to hug our parents and when we did we smeared the pie all over them. Then we collapsed. We were pretty tired after that. We showered it was really late so we went to bed!

Chapter 7 Goodbye Parents

I woke up the next morning to see a whale outside my window. I took a picture of it. I showered and went to the Dining Deck to see everyone was already there getting food.

We sat at a big table. "Well, what a sweet ending with our parents"! Said Cody. We were getting close to their destination and Justin came over and told us " the movie is complete! Would you like to see the new footage we added"!

We said "Yeah" at the same time which made Justin laugh! So off to the movie theater we go to watch it until we arrive at the Lake Michigan Pier! We neared their stop and we went to help gather their luggage to take to the cars! When we got to the cars we gave them very long hugs and said our goodbyes then boarded the ship again! Then waved goodbye at the Bow!

The girls and I were finally able to let our emotions out now that our parents are gone. I hugged Kyle very tight. Sam came over and gave me his special hug. We spent the whole afternoon on the lounge deck just relaxing. We were too upset to do anything else that day. Thenl Sam and Kyle thought it would be funny to pin me and tickle me. I tried fighting them off but to no avail.

We went to eat dinner then watch fireworks on the Skydeck. After we dropped our parents at the pier. Kyle and our brothers saw we were still a little emotional. Justin came to check on us to see how we were doing after we left our parents! We tried to pull it together but it was harder than it looked! Justin said, " I have a great way to Cheer you up"!

We looked at him confused than at our brothers who were all smiling now. They had gotten together and plotted! Before they could get the chance to execute their plan we took off running! I said" man that was close I am glad we ran". However Kyle came from around the corner then the others surrounded us and instead of tickling us this time they carried us to the pool and jumped in it with us in their arms! Alyssa said," that is not at all what we were expecting"!

Levi responded with a smirk on his face" what did you guys think we were going to do" as he looked at the guys! Then they started jumping at us! Before we could swim away they had already grabbed us and started tickling us! We splashed them to get away from their torture and ran off! They called truce after that.

We finally felt better! We were tired after all that and it was late so we called it a night. Kyle gave me another piggy back ride back to our cabins then kissed me goodnight.

Chapter 8 Big Surprise

That morning after breakfast Justin came and said "I hope you guys had a great time with your parents because I have one more surprise for you guys. When we planned our revenge we also made a photo album of their time here on the ship with you! We all ran back to our cabins and saw what they had done! We all shared our photos with each other. The pictures made us all laugh!

Then we went to the water park because it was so hot! We went back to our cabins and changed into our swimsuits. Then we met at Ice splash mountain! Up the stairs, we went for a ride! We climbed in and away we went up the mountain then into a dark tunnel. Then at the other end was the big hill down the hill to the bottom we went then the water made a huge wave that covered us we screamed!

We were so tired that afternoon we all went to get some much-needed rest! When I woke up I had a letter sitting on the deck of my cabin! I took it to the lounge deck where the others were and sat by Sam and Kyle!

I opened the letter and it said this:

Dear Missy,

We just wanted to check in on you to see how you are doing since we left. We had so much fun with you on the cruise and hope you are still having fun too! We miss you and love you so much! Just remember our dance together and the song! Well, we have to go now we love you!

Mom and Dad!

P.S. Let Kyle and Sam read this letter to, because if you try to be sad after this one we give them both permission to tickle you!

That part made me laugh! So I was safe for now! Levi came by and asked " are you guys getting hungry yet! We all said “yeah” at the same time which made him laugh!

So we went up to the Dining Deck to eat lunch Sam asked, " Is anyone else getting hot or is it just me"! Sherry said just to mess with him "I think it's just you". Before she knew it Cody grabbed her and pinned her Sam released the tickle machine on her!

When Sam stopped Sherry said, " you kinda walked right into that one you know". He just glared at her. I stepped in front of her and told Sam " you mess with my sister you have to mess with me too"!

Sam said " OK then remembered you asked for it" as he walked towards us! I tried to back us up and turn to run but Kyle and Cody were right there blocking our exit!

Kyle said, " same goes for Sam you guys mess with him you mess with us"! So, of course, we were pinned and tickled. We called a truce and they helped us up! After that we went and jumped in the pool together making the biggest splash ever. After all that we went to eat dinner with the crew and watch fireworks. It was late so we went to bed.

Chapter 9 One hot day

I woke up sweating because the ship's air conditioning was broken so I put my shirt in the freezer. Then rinsed it under cold water! I met the others on the Dining Deck who had their food already. Sam asked me "why is your shirt wet"? When I told him why he rolled his eyes at me and smiled. That afternoon we went to the water park because we were sweating. We went to change into our swimsuits and met at the lazy river this time!

We got into our floats and just floated around the pool for a while! Then, of course, the boys were getting bored. So they started being boys and flipping each other off the floats!

Cody asked, " does anyone want to have a chicken fight"? The guys were all for it of course! We just sat back and watched them goof off. It was fun to watch! They had us crying. We were laughing so hard! Once they realized we were laughing at them they splashed us! Then they wrapped their arms around us and carried us to the big bucket and held us under it until it drenched us all!

Kyle said, " maybe that will teach ya to not laugh at us". I, of course, made a smart comment saying " of course not why can't we laugh you guys are hilarious! Kyle then glared at me and started walking towards me! I turned to run but fell in the water instead! He picked me up and asked, "are you, OK baby"? I responded with a splash in his face which answered his question. He laughed and said, " Now for revenge"!

It was too late to fight so I just went with it. I had no other choice. He carried me to the top of the big slide and pushed me down it. Then he followed me! I said, " is that the best you got babe I have had worse". He glared at me now and said "

Oh, I am just getting started, baby that was phase one of my revenge". Kyle pinned me and blew raspberries on my stomach, I screamed and then the others started attacking the guys and tried to tickle them but they all lost that battle! We called a truce it was really late so we went to our cabins and called it a night.

Chapter 10 4th of July

When I woke up the next morning Justin had left an invitation to a celebration that night on the Skydeck on my nightstand. The invitation said, " we start at 7 and go until midnight"! I met up with the others who had already gotten theirs!

While we waited until the party that night we just relaxed on the lounge deck after breakfast and watched football! We wanted to save our energy and appetite for that night!

The time finally came for the party when we got up to the Sky-deck. Everything was decorated in red white and blue. It was so awesome! We got our Lei's and they had hot dogs, hamburgers, ribs, chips, cookies and more so we ate all night!

They started the music and we went dancing. Kyle took me in his arms and we danced for hours. It was so romantic! I surprised him with a kiss on the cheek! He returned the kiss but on my lips. He held me closer! I said" I am having the time of my life here with you! I feel so loved by you. I love your hugs and kisses. I also like it when you tickle me". He grabbed my sides which made me laugh. He said, " I knew you did".

Justin came over the loudspeaker and said: "The fireworks are about to start, you have just enough time to get some ice cream and take your seats"! Kyle and I went to sit on the lounge chairs together and the others did too!

We watched the most awesome firework display in the world. What made it so awesome is it was on the water! Kyle picked me up on his back after the fireworks. He carried me back to my cabin for the night. Before we reached the cabins he saw the fountain again and he ran through it with me on his back. We finally arrived at the cabins. He gave me one more kiss and said goodnight.

Chapter 11 More Adventures

I woke up to the Ship coming to a jerking stop! My phone rang. It was Justin. He wanted us to meet him on the lounge deck! When we got up there Sam asked: " why did the ship stop"? Justin said" the ship ran out of gas! So we are docked in Disney World to refuel and get more oil please follow me to the hotel and everything here is free to"!

We went to the hotel in the middle of the park! The manager came out and introduced himself to us. He said, " I am Luke, and who do we have here". I introduced everyone. Then Cody told him "Justin said you guys would take care of us until the ship is ready to go back into the water".

Luke said," We have the best room ready for you guys, It is set up with ten rooms in it for everyone to be comfortable". We followed him to the elevator. Luke said, " would you like to see your room"? We went in and just stood speechless! It was amazing! Our closets were full of more clothes and dressers full of clothes!

When I was done exploring my room and seeing what they had to do I decided to call home and tell mom and dad we are docked at Disney World! We went to see what they had for lunch. We got our food and ate. We decided to go to the animal kingdom.

There were so many animals they let us pet some of them! We got to go on a big raft to see more animals. We came to the lions and they were so calm and one came up to us and wanted to be petted. He was so gentle his purrs were so loud!

We went down the river to the next group of animals. Before we got there, we were heading right for a waterfall, of course, our side of the raft was heading right into it! We got drenched. The guys could not stop laughing.

I looked at the girls and they all had the same idea I did. We splashed them which made them laugh even more! Sam said, " we will get our revenge sis"! I just stuck my tongue out at him.

He glared at me then splashed me back. I just rolled my eyes at him. He glared at me with a smile. The ride was almost over so I was getting nervous because my brother was after me! He said, " why are you so nervous"?

I said, "because I pretty much know what you are gonna do". He said " oh really" with a smirk on his face! With that, I took off running for my room. That did not last long. Noah came behind me and gave my hiding spot away! Kyle then picks me up and carries me to the living room. He tossed me on the floor and sat on top of me so I couldn't move. I just started laughing before they did anything.

Kyle said, " we haven't even done anything yet why you are laughing". I said," because well every time I am like this you or Sam tickle me". Of course, it happened.

I finally gave in and apologized to Sam for splashing him. Kyle could see right through me. I pushed Noah because he was still holding me to make sure I wouldn't try anything! After I pushed him and grabbed Sherry's hand and we took off running! Sherry tried to help me but could not get to me thanks to Sam! Noah finally got a hold of me then picked me up and Sam picked up Sherry they both took us to the water and threw us in.

We were invited to a food fight in the park. We headed to the spot where they will be throwing the food. Leo was there so he introduced us to Ken and Eric. We went and gathered around them.

Leo told us "the balloons were full of chocolate syrup and whipped cream. The bowls are filled with pudding and jello! So when the whistle blew we started pelting each other with the food until we were covered from head to toe.

Sam looked at us then at Ken and Eric. We had the same idea he did. So with a smirk on his face! We nodded and silently counted to each other and started pelting Leo, Ken, and Eric with the food! We had a blast with that!

Sam then asked, " is anyone else getting hungry or is it just me"? I said, " do I really need to answer that"? He just smiled because little did I know Kyle was standing right behind me and heard my comment. He grabbed my side and said, "be nice or else I'll do that again". I said "OK fine you win for now" as I glare at them both. They just rolled their eyes at me.

We went to dinner then Sam wanted revenge from my comment. After we ate Sam started to walk towards me! I tried to run but Noah was blocking my exit! Sam then picked me up and took me to the fountain of color!

Before he could do anything I broke free from his grip and ran to the middle where the water wasn't shooting up at. I thought I would be safe! I was so wrong when the water stopped shooting up and they all charged in at one time!

The water didn't stay down long. Right before they got to where I was the water shoots up on all of them so when they got to me they were drenched! I tried not to laugh but who wouldn't? It was hilarious!

They finally got to the middle where I was, I lost it seeing them all wet! I fell to the ground right in the middle of the fountain and laughed until I cried! They couldn't help but laugh either. That didn't last long since I was already on the ground. They decided to doggie pile on me and we were drenched some more!

Once the fountain stopped they got up and Kyle helped me off the ground and we all ran around in the fountain for a bit longer. I said "that was so fun let's go dry off and change now. I am having so much fun on this adventure I don't want it to ever end".

However, the day was not over yet. We still had a gathering at the Epcot center. After we changed we met back by the Epcot center. When we went inside and they had snack food set up and blankets set up outside to sit on to watch fireworks at midnight.

Kyle and I sat on the same blanket of course. After we ate the D.J. started up some music while we waited for the fireworks. Kyle took me by the hand and we went dancing for a while! The others joined in later.

Well, here we are dancing when the next thing we know Mickey mouse comes over with Minnie Mouse and asks us to dance with us. Well, of course, we wanted to. So we are dancing with the greatest two Disney world characters there are, and Mickey picks me up and spins me around which makes me laugh.

He spun me back to Kyle. They went dancing with others. Kyle and I just laughed after that. After dancing it was almost time for the fireworks. Which left us enough time to get ice cream and head back to our spots. The fireworks started going off Kyle and I laid down on the blanket to watch them. I was so tired I didn't want to walk. So Kyle tells me " get on my back I'll carry you back!

Kyle saw the fountain and wanted to run through it one more time before we went back to our rooms. I held on tighter and off he went, the guys followed him. The girls wanted to go as well so off they went.

We finally got back to the hotel. I said goodnight then showered and went to bed. Sherry and I shared a room. We laid in our beds and talked for a little bit before we went to sleep. Sherry told me " this has been an amazing day. I really wish it didn't have to end"!

The next morning we woke up and met at the monorail to go to breakfast. We got our food and ate. We were so full afterward we needed to go relax for a minute!

Sam wanted to go see Honey. I shrunk the audience. We went with him. When it came time for the professor to shrink us we all cheered to let him know we were ready to be little. When he did shrink us we cheered some more and this time we sounded like chipmunks. Which made us all laugh, which then sounded even more fun than us cheering.

We headed out of the theater and I heard Kyle's stomach growl which made my stomach growl too. So we went to the rain forest cafe for lunch. We got our tables and looked over the menu.

After we ate we went to ride Summit Plummet! We laughed and cheered until the ride was over! We then left Summit Plummet and went to the magic kingdom. I saw Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger spin and Kyle wanted to go with me. So off we went while the others went to ride thunder mountain! Together Kyle and I defeated the Emperor Zurg!

Then went back to the hotel to just relax until the Epcot center had their party that night. The guys set up their video games while I just laid on the bed and watched them while the girls played cards. I got bored so I thought it would be funny to start picking on my brothers and Kyle!

I poked Sam in his side first then Noah then Kyle. They all looked at me with a glare! I just laid there like I didn't do anything! So they ignored me and went back to their game. At that point, Leo came to check in on us and to hang out. He sat on the bed next to us and Sam invited him to play the game with them.

So while they went back to playing their games I decided to pick on them all this time and after about the third time I poked them Sam pins me down grabs my stomach and says" if you do not stop poking us you will regret it, sis. This is what will happen only longer next time"!

Me just being smart and bored poked all of them again. Kyle said, " alright that is it you are getting it now". With that, I hid under the blanket. Which didn't help me at all? Kyle just pushes me down on the bed and they all start tickling me!

I tried to fight but it was no use. They were overpowering. My sisters tried to come to help me but that didn't work either they got pinned and tickled too. Kyle didn't stop tickling me until I said I wouldn't poke them anymore! By that time We were all out of breath.

Kyle said " give in or else". I said, " or else what"! He responded or else I'll do this"! While already grabbing my sides! Between the laughter, I finally gave in and he stopped tickling me thank goodness! Cody said, " are you gonna stop messing with us now"? I responded," hmm maybe, maybe not"! With that Kyle glared at me and said: " oh really now huh"?

I protested to no more tickling Kyle didn't care. I liked him tickling me and he knew it. I thought I was safe so I uncovered my face and they all acted like they were gonna tickle me again so I screamed and hid again. Kyle grabbed my side just to make me scream! We were getting hungry so We ordered Chinese for dinner.

We ate then went to the Epcot center for the fireworks. Then Kadin and De'Anthony came over to inform us that the ship will be ready after the fireworks!

When the fireworks were over we went back to say goodbye to everyone and Luke let us take the clothes we wore while we were there! He gave us stuffed Mickey Mouses!

As we approached the ship the whole crew came at us with water balloons and water guns. They started pelting us with the balloons and spraying us! So we ran on the ship to the water war room to get armed! We waited until they got to the doors!

We warned them to not come in or else. We gave them thirty seconds to drop their weapons! They did at first but it did not last long. Justin looked at them and said, " OK now"! Then we got into a huge water war! The crew finally called a truce and we cheered!

Little did we know they were not done yet! They shot us one more time then dropped their weapons. Then we fell to the deck laughing! We went back to our cabins after that and called our parents to let them know we are back on the cruise.

We wanted to go bowling! We also did another challenge guys V.S. girls of course. The girls were ahead at first. It came down to the last frame and Noah got three strikes in a row!

Before the guys could get us we took off running towards the cabins. Sam and Kyle came into my cabin and saw I was hiding under the covers! I didn't know where they were until they pounced on the bed. I tried to get away but it was too late.

I got tickled worse than the others did because I was fighting the most. Once they finally stopped I whispered to Noah" let's get Sam now". Sam knew he was in trouble but before he could run Cody and Kyle stopped him!

I said, "this is for all the times you released your tickle machine on me"! I tortured him for about 5 minutes and he finally called a truce!

We were hungry for lunch so we went and ate. We were tired. After that we went to take a nap for a while. When I woke up I saw Kyle sitting on my bed with the stuffed mickey mouse I got in Disney world. He made Mickey kiss my face which made me laugh!

When he stopped he asked, " Do you want to go to the lazy river"! Of course, I did so he went to put his swim trunks on while I got ready to. We went to the water park and everyone else was already floating around in the lazy river. "Splash" then one of the girls screamed. I look over and see sherry in the water.

I didn't see her get tipped over then the guys started to flip everyone else. I hurried off my float so they couldn't flip me but little did I know Kyle saw me. He says "oh no you don't" then picks me up then throws me in the water. Standing there showing off his muscles and smiling at me. I splashed him and he chased me to the bucket and held me under it!

We went down the big slides one time then went to relax for a while. We pulled out some card and board games and played for a while. Until Kyle and I got bored and started poking the others again.

Noah spotted me going to poke him and said " do you really want to start that again"? I said, " maybe I do and maybe I don't". Then poked him. He just laughed. Sam, on the other hand, had other ideas, Sam pins me down then Kyle blows raspberries on my stomach that made me scream! I said “I thought you were on my side here Kyle.” He just laughed at me.

We went to get dinner then it was pretty late but the crew had one more firework display to show us. Then Kyle offered to carry me back to my cabin after that! When we got to the cabins he let me down. We kissed goodnight then went to sleep!

Chapter 12 Time to go Home

I woke up that morning hungry so of course I went to eat because everyone was already there. We went to laser tag first. Then to the color run track and looked like rainbows when we were done. After that, we went to the movies. Then after the movies, We wanted to relax for a while on the Lounge Deck again.

We were sitting around when Sam said " you know guys this may be a bad thing for the girls". We looked at each other confused and I said: " how can this possibly be bad". Before we could move. We got pinned once again and tickled.

I said to Kyle who had me pinned under him " oh are you guys thinking you can get away with this"! He responded," unless you can fight back baby then yes we are"! So I fight back and tickle him then pin him. He just smiles at me when I say " look who wins now baby"! He gets the upper hand and flips me back over then says " I do" and keeps tickling until Justin comes over!

When Justin comes over he sees me pinned and says" being tickled again I see". I couldn't respond because Kyle was still tickling me. When he finally stopped. Justin helped me up and said, "can you have a seat I have some important news to share with you all"!

We did as he instructed. He goes on and says" we have had a blast with you guys and enjoyed having you on the ship, however, your adventure is almost over!

You guys get to keep the clothes in your cabins and our beds were in there"! We looked at each other then back at him. He then goes on to say " we are also giving you guys something for memories of your time with us"!

He takes us to the bowling alley to get a ball. Then to the laser tag, he gave us the gear. Then he took us to the color run track to get some powdered paint! Then he took us back to his quarters because he put a photo album together for each of us to take home.

We went and called our families to tell them our adventure is almost over to meet us at Lake Michigan Pier with a U-Haul truck.

Justin had one more party for us that night. So we laid down and watched the fireworks on the lounge chairs one last time and went to sleep on the Skydeck!

We finally reached the Pier. We got our things and loaded them on the U-hauls then when we turned around. The crew came running towards us all and got us one last time with powdered paint and water before we went home! We all said goodbye and thanked them for all of their hospitality while we were on the Perfect Cruise. Then we went home with our families!

The End! 

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560 Reviews

Points: 30438
Reviews: 560

Tue May 19, 2020 2:13 pm
Tenyo wrote a review...

Hey Luna!

This piece is huge! About 10,000 words in length? Credit to you, that's brilliant to be able to finish a work of that length. It's a lot to read in one sitting though. It's sometimes easier to get feedback uploading in parts of 1000-1500 words or so.

What I love about this piece is that it's so exciting. There isn't a single paragraph that doesn't have something interesting going on. The pace is fast and the language you use is energetic. I can really feel the emotional highs and lows, and the affection between the characters is so nice.

I didn't feel much of a sense of conflict within the piece, but that's okay. It gripped me not because I was afraid for what might happen next but because I was excited for it. It was a good, wholesome read that brightened my day and there is a lot of value in that.

I agree with Mckaylaam in that it could do with a few less exclamation marks, but otherwise I think the style is consistent and nice to read.

Thank you for posting!

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29 Reviews

Points: 3561
Reviews: 29

Wed Apr 29, 2020 12:05 am
mckaylaam wrote a review...

Hi there Luna! I see you're new here to YWS, so welcome! I'm here for a quick review of your work so let's jump in :)

The first thing that I noticed was that your story was a bit long for a single post - I'd recommend splitting up your chapters into multiple postings so that readers don't get overwhelmed by the amount of text that they see. I'd also recommend having the chapter titles in bold or some other font so that it's easier to tell where these divisions are in your text. Additonally, some of the chapters seemed fairly short so I think you'd be able to combine some of them together if you were interested in doing that.

There are a lot of short sentences in your writing that I feel could be combined so that it doesn't seem as choppy. You definitely don't have to worry about run-on sentences, so I'd take a look at your writing and see where you think two or even three sentences could be made into one.

Another thing that I noticed was you tend to start a lot of your sentences with "then", which can start to feel a bit repetitive after a while, especially if you have two consecutive sentences that start with the same word. Try experimenting a little and replace "then" with other words, you might find that it helps with the repetitiveness.

There also seems to be a lot of exclamation marks in your writing. Using exclamation marks is perfectly okay and can definitely help to convey emotion when necessary, but in your case it unfortunately seems to be a bit excessive, as they seem to be used almost every other sentence, making the exclamation mark lose it's effectiveness in my opinion.

I liked that you had a wide variety of characters in your chapters! I think it would be good if you were to give each character more of a backstory when they're introduced into the story, just so the readers can better understand them and their personalities.

I think there's a lot that can be improved over time with practice, so don't give up - keep writing!

In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening