CHAPTER 1
"But mum" I pleaded, she didn't listen.
"You've already got a Louis Vuitton, you don't need a Gucci as well!" she answered.
There was no getting around her, but dad... you asked he got. However he was on a very important business trip, and i wasn't allowed to call him.
So i stormed off to my room and sat on my bed, loudly to annoy my brother downstairs. Kayli was eating from her bowl and as i walked in she followed me and then placed her head on my knee. She was the one person, well dog, that i could talk to and she wouldn't ridicule me. Well of course she wouldn't, she's a dog but you know what i mean. She's a beautiful husky with Caribbean blue eyes and sleek black fur. She's one of my many dogs, but she is by far my favourite. We got her when she was a puppy and we had to travel all the way to Newquay to get her. The breeder was rambling on about all the prizes Kaylis' mum had one. I decided i would go off and find the puppies. Kayli was the first to run up to me. She was the biggest and bravest and still is.
I knew then and there i wanted her, so we took her home and showed her the room she would live in. It was deep purple with pink furniture (like my room)with a pink fluffy bed and a purple matching pillow.I picked everything out my self, fingering the fur, messing with the bowls and toys, even trying out a bed. The best thing of all though was the little blue elephant with a jingly ball attached to the trunk. Nowadays though she shares her room with the others and the little blue elephant has one eye and a raggedy ear. I sometimes let her sleep in my room, but not very often.
I was in my room and still upset about the bag when Indie -one of my puppies- slipped in with a red velvet ribbon attached to his neck. He was yapping and jumping, trying hard not to run in to anything. I picked him up to save him from any harm and realized he had a small white tag on his neck. It read:
Dear Lily,
Happy valentines day, meet me in the park
Love ? xxx
I knew exactly who it was from. But after my little 'tantrum' i would not be allowed out. I texted ? that i would be late and set to work. Kayli kept smudging it, but i eventually got it done. Here it is:
PIC OF PLAN
I really thought it would work. Big mistake! Mum was downstairs. She saw me and asked me where i was going and i stupidly said i was taking one of the dogs for a walk. Now, when you take a dog for a walk, you need a dog. I was on my own. She sent me up to my room and told me if i wanted to take a dog for a walk, she was coming with me.
So i rang ? and told him i couldn't come. I like calling him question mark, it makes it mysterious. I went to bed early that night, out of sadness. I could hear Mallie meowing outside on the windowsill so i let her in. She was wet and shaking, so Mrs Tilford had obviously locked the flap thinking she was in. Mrs Tilford is an old lady who lives in the little village about a mile from our house. It isn't a very big village. It just has a couple of houses, a small shop, a post office and a tiny school. Thats it. Just those buildings.
On our way to school, we'd see Mrs Tilford in her garden, picking her weeds and talking to Mallie - not in a weird way. She would hand out boiled sweets and always help out at our school. Now she sits inside all day, often forgetting things. But Mallie's still the same and she often visits, as she knows we have cat food. She is brave though as the dogs chase her a lot.
Suddenly, I heard a bang on the window. I'll be honest; i was a bit scared. I was brave though and slowly peered out the window. I was so happy to see Jasper, stood below my window.? has been revealed! It was 8.30 at night, chucking it down and he chose to walk a mile to see me.
"I love you Lil" he shouted, and then realized i didn't live alone.
" Happy Valentines day" He said quieter this time, but loud enough so i could hear. Sadly, someone turned a light on downstairs(whoever did that i hate you) and he had to go. But he blew me a kiss! I love him!!!
CHAPTER 2
Jasper has been my boyfriend for 1 year, since yr.7. He goes to my school and he and Alyssa are the only other two people in my year. We go to the tiny school in the village and it only has 1 class and all the years are in one class. But we have to do different work.
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Thanks the reson I put i a lot was because I was on my computer and seen as though I'm used to my iPod I forgot it doesn't capitalize but I will listen to the comments and hopefully write more chapters. Anything else?
Hi lucy97,
Welcome to YWS.I hope you'll enjoy a lot.
I think your story was okay-okay.You don't use capital 'I'while referring to the narrator.I can give you a name after reading more chapters.
Hey there Lucy! I'm Irish and welcome to YWS!
So, I don't know if you know or not but we have a few rules here.
One of them is no chatspeak. And although you had like none, I found one and it just reminded me to point it out
So, sorry to do this but I found a couple nit-picks that I thought I should point out.
One of them was you forgot to capatalize "I" alot. Just make sure you remember to do that, wicked easy to fix
This part is a little confusing. You're not entirely sure whats shes doing or what the plan is. I'd add a little more to that.
One tip to use (And I've done this before too so you're not alone) is it looks better if you type the numbers out like one or seven. And also write out "year".
There were a few other things, but I've done enough nit-picking for now.
Overall the story was pretty good! The dogs sound cute! And lol, this part made me laugh:
Haha! Keep up the good work and welcome to the site!
-Irish