Published October 24, 2012
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140,596 Literary Works • 673,546 Reviews
Congratulations on being my first review!
Catch me while you can,
please.
Dull world and people
tease. The 3rd and 4th lines didn't quite make sense. Maybe 'where' instead of 'and'?
My mazochist view has grown -- masochist
God please enterfere! -- interfere
of comfty goods -- comfy
to see trough my lies. -- through
Tomorow can already be to late. -- Tomorrow
Overall, you did a good job on expressing feelings in the poem.
- Spotted
It made me feel like you wanted to come out from a dark path. Something that makes you weak and helpless. But I think you should open your heart and mind and let God take control of you. It's a nice poem, as well.
God Bless..
Keep going..
ll
U
So couple errors liste down below.
1. Interfere not enterfere.
2. Comfy not comfty (so I think)
3. Too instead of to.
Other than that, it has good rhyme, good feel, experience, and it makes sense.
Keep writing! Hawinay