Looking Back
I was never one of those bad children. One that you knew would end up on the back of a milk carton. Although I’m not, I’d rather be. I was never one of those girls. As I walked down the halls I would give those girls dirty looks to those girls and I roll my eyes and wonder how they became a wreck. I always came to the conclusion they were born in to imperfection. They were always that way. Since the day their mothers held their new born bodies they were sworn to a horrible reputation. As I walked away I would think “Oh I’ll never be that.” I was the good girl. Although I wasn’t the nicest girl, I went to church, I believed in god whole heartily. My religion was the insides of me; maybe that’s why I thought I was promise to an ideal future. I didn’t believe in drugs or alcohol, and for the longest time; I was against alcohol. I believed you were pathetic if you turn to those things to feel approved by your peers. I now I realized I was a hypocrite of myself today, Polar-opposites. I was judgmental, arrogant, and felt my morals were the paramount of all morals. But at the time I hadn’t lived the life I lived. I was green, new, innocent, and most of all; inexperienced.
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140,280 Literary Works • 673,071 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayyy....well let's see. Before we dive right into the actual content behind this particular piece I think I have to start out by talking about the lack of paragraphing here. It is short enough that it kind of sort of works as only one paragraph but then also not quite. I think you need to do just a little bit more here and split it into about two parts for it to really flow properly.
Moving on from that, we have an interesting sort of introspection and also observation sort of combo here with this person going on about sort of their outlook in life and then ending a bit on sort of their own opinion on themselves. Its certainly interesting. There are quite a few ideas thrown about here and it looks like we've got the makings of a story, buut there is also a slight lack of a sense of plot here. This doesn't feel like as much of a scene as it should and it feels more like a character breakdown than a prologue which is a bit of concern.
Overall, we have ourselves the beginning of a character here but I don't know if we have the beginnings of a story so I think a bit of thinking on that is a good way to move forward here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Don't worry, you can ask a Mod (people with green names). In which do you want this to go?
Action fiction, romantic fiction, etc.
*Kat*
UH SORRY.
i dont know how to change it
your excussed
Hi there Lsh!
Anyway, just thought I tell you.
So, did you know you put this in Art & Photography? I see that you've been around for a while, so I would assume it was an accident. As you know, the Art & Photography thread is for, well, Art and Photography.
See ya round!
-Y