Just let me be

thanks Doxie00

Heyy i loved this poem ! Especially the rhymes ! Looks like the kind of thing i do too And um i think it should be 'Just LET me be' but if not i loved it. Remember, whoever is making your life miserable is not a fully a human...some jerk of some kind ! -__- But i hope that you're able to cope with that person

Thanks guys for all the positive feedback and constructive criticism
I have done my best to fix up my mistakes!!

love2read wrote:

Just leave me be


Im short for my age but I try to stand tall
When you call me name and make me fell small

It’s not fair to me to be treaded this way#40FFFF ">(treaded on? or treated?)
Look at your self #00FFFF ">;your#00FFFF ">(You're) not as skinny as you say

You’re the queen bee all the girls follow around
If you ask me you’re not worthy enough to be crowned

You have a tongue so vile and you use it like a whip
How I wish I could sew together your top and bottom lip

You’re so evil inside I can almost see the tendrils of evil dancing at your feet
They feed of your anger and Deceit #00FFFF ">(the first line is too long, almost like you're forcing a rhyme to be produced.)

I ask of you one thing #00FFFF ">,and that’s to leave me alone
Do you really have to follow me all the way home? #00FFFF ">(why'd she follow you home, if she has all that attitude: queen bee, and stuff?)

Honestly I think it kinda funny that you waste your breath talking about me
Got me feeling kinda special, don’t you agree?

Stop messing with me, im about to snap
Is there something stuck up you arse? Why don’t you go take a crap.

One day you’re going to get punched in the face
Someone’s going to put in your place #00FFFF ">Put in your place? !)

And that’s the day I’ll truly be free
From all of this misery

#8000BF ">-love2read-

Hello there.
I'm Ehte here for the review. Without any delay I shall get down to the review/

#4000FF ">I'm short for my age but I try to stand tall
When you call me name and make me fell small #4000FF ">How does calling of your name make you feel small?

It’s not fair to me to be treaded this way #4000FF ">I guess you wanted to write treated there in place of treaded.
Look at your self your not as skinny as you say #4000FF ">Look at yourself you’re not as skinny as you say

You’re the queen bee all the girls follow around #4000FF ">You’re the queen bee that all the girls follow around
If you ask me you’re not worthy enough to be crowned

You have a tongue so vile and you use it like a whip
How I wish I could sew together your top and bottom lip

You’re so evil inside I can almost see the tendrils of evil dancing at your feet #4000FF ">The line is too long. It breaks the flow of the poem.
They feed of your anger and Deceit #4000FF ">They feed on your anger and Deceit / They feed on anger and Deceit

I ask of you one thing and that’s to leave me alone
Do you really have to follow me all the way home?

Honestly I think it kinda funny that you waste your breath talking about me #4000FF ">Honestly I think it’s kind of funny that you waste your breath talking about me
Got me feeling kinda special, don’t you agree? #4000FF ">Does not sound good. Reword this line.

Stop messing with me, #4000FF ">I'm about to snap
Is there something stuck up you arse? Why don’t you go take a crap. #4000FF ">There will be a "?" at the end of the line.

One day you’re going to get punched in the face
Someone’s going to put in your place #4000FF ">Someone’s going to put you in your place

And that’s the day I’ll truly be free
From all of this misery

Hey love2read,

First off all, well done for making it rhyme. And not only did you make it rhyme, it made sense. Although I think some of the lines seemed a tiny bit forced. Like, the line is only there so that it could rhyme. But other than that, the flow of the poem is quite nice. There's a few grammatical errors I noticed, like Carly pointed out.

Like this for example:

love2read wrote:

I#FF0000 ">'m short for my age but I try to stand tall
When you call me name#FF0000 ">s and make me fell small

Wow this is really good A few grammar errors but it is amazing I especially like the crap coming out of the arse bit hahahaha You have talent