Horror stories

by lostthought

Published October 25, 2013

12+

In Horror Stories

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The Dead Beating Heart

I cried as I buried the body I killed. My first murder. I wonder how many will follow, dead by my own hands. It was raining and fog settled in the air. It was a perfect night for a murderer. As I walked home, eyes still puffy with tears, I heard footsteps behind. I turned around and looked, but saw nothing. My phone went off, breaking the silence the night was providing.

I put the phone to my ear and asked, "Hello? Who is this?" The answer made my heart go cold and the phone dropped to the ground. It was the girl I killed.

She said, "You killed me. Now it's your turn."

I ran and ran, but still couldn't get away from the guilt. I remembered the happiness I felt as I stabbed the girl and tore out her heart, feeling its one last THUMP, then horror at what I had done. I couldn't bear it. I stopped running home and ran to the graveyard.

When I got there, I heard a loud THUMP behind me. Slowly I turned, scared at what I would see. It was her. In one hand she held the knife I used to kill her. In the other, it was her heart, still beating. I screamed and it all faded away as she stabbed me in the heart.

I was found the next day, holding my heart in my hand, my mouth open in a permanent scream. Next to me was the girl I killed. Holding her heart in one of her hands, the knife in the other. She was kneeling next to me, revenge still stuck in her soulless eyes.

She is here with me now. Smiling and still holding the knife in her hand. I'm stuck in Hell, and she's my punishment.

The True Story of Raggedy Ann

Raggedy Ann was a real girl once. Her real name was Ann, but village children called her Raggedy Ann due to the fact that she wore poorly fashioned clothes. One day, Ann got severely sick, causing her to turn as pale as snow. The day afterwards she died.

Her mom was devastated. She took Ann to a witch and asked to help her daughter. No one knows what happened for sure, but Raggedy Ann came out of the witch's hut. Her mom was never seen again. She went back to village to play, but not the way you expect. She went to the children who were mean to her and while they were in bed, she killed them.

One boy was found holding his severed head in his hands. Another child had her throat slit ear to ear. Nobody knew who was doing it or why. Less and less children populated the village. People who still had children were going to move away. Sadness and fear overwhelmed the village. Everyone was taking caution, which lured Raggedy Ann to her final death.

She went to kill the boy who was meanest to her. She wanted him to suffer before he died. What she didn't know is that he sleeps with his parents, and that his dad kept a pistol next to his bed. Holding wicked looking carving knife, she dropped through the window with a light thud. As she was about to carve her name into his stomach, his father woke up.

When his dad saw Raggedy Ann, he quickly grabbed his pistol and shot her twice in the head. She died instantly. This time the boy was devastated. The day afterward, the boy wrote a short note and shot himself in the head. He actually had loved Raggedy Ann. In his note, he said he wished that he and Ann be turned into dolls and to be together forever. The boy's name was Andy. Now known as Raggedy Andy.

The Thing in the Woods

Seth had went to the woods in the middle of the night. It was hunting season and he wanted to kill some animals to bring home as a surprise to his family. He had also brought a flashlight because the moon was hidden behind the darkness of space. He looked and looked but no deers, rabbits, or even bears presented themselves to Seth. The night was silent and unmoving. The night air turned into a harsh wind, freezing Seth to the bone.

Just as he started to go back home, something made the nearby bush tremble. He didn't think, just acted. He dived at the bush, ready to kill whatever had made it rustle. Nothing was there. Sighing, he turned and walked back home. All of a sudden he felt the cold touch of medal against his back and he fell unconscious, never to wake again.

A horrible scream penetrated the forest. A search party followed the source of the screams. There was Seth, a vine tied around his neck. His body swayed in the cold wind. He had buttons sewn in where his eyes should have been. A message was carved into his stomach, seeping blood like a fresh wound. The message said "I'm watching, always watching." The most horrifying is that even though his chest didn't move and his heart didn't beat, his mouth was wide open. Still screaming.

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
Casanova
Review
Casanova wrote a review Review · Dec 28, 2016

Heyo, Lost! Casanova here to do another review for you!


Anyway, let's do an overall review here. It looked like you've gotten three stories and thrown them into one short story, and that doesn't really work for me. I mean, you're wanting a short story, and here we have three extremely short short stories that don't really have anything to do with each other. Anyway, onward with the review!

The first short story. I think it's decent enough, but really, really lacking something. It seems like everything is a bit rushed, and although that's normal for a short story it seems even more apparent in the first one. I would suggest drawing the climatic points out a bit, and stretching it a bit. I could see it going a bit farther than it already has. Anyway, onward.

The second short story has the same problem as the first, so I won't go into depth about it, but it is interesting. I like the twist of the raggedy Ann story, so that's a plus. Anyway, onward.

The third short story has a little more depth to it, and I enjoyed that. So props for that. The little dialogue you have in it was rather boring, though. One piece of dialogue that I would like to see excluded from it.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped. Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron

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donizback
Comment
donizback commented Comment · Jun 16, 2015

Just amazing!!!

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Storybraniac
Review
Storybraniac wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2013

Super cool horror stories. Love ya if you're a boy, great job if you're a girl. Please write more horror stories or I will murder you! (Just joking, I am being super dumb) I have never read such spooky stories. To be honest, these are better than R.L Stine goosebumps and R.L Stine fear street. Please write more stories or the world will stop reading your stories because your horror stories are the best in the whole world. The world will lose all it's entertainment without you. You might publish a book named "Collection of spooky horror stories" when you grow up and you would be famous an known all over the world. Please donate some points. I need some. I wrote this review to show you how cool you are and for points. Be cool and stay cool.

:) ;)

Funny because I started writing horror stories because of R.L.Stine.

I know he's very cool.

User avatar
emjayc
Review
emjayc wrote a review Review · Oct 27, 2013

These were pretty decent horror stories, but I challenge you to do better ^^ You have the potential to really grow as a writer. Try to add more detail in your stories and develop you characters more. It's always better when a reader has a certain emotional attachment to a character, so whatever happens later will have a greater impact on the audience.
The first story you wrote did not seem very original. Try to add a unique twist that someone else wouldn't think to use. Take more time to really build the terror before jumping into the climax.
The second story was more of a legend-type. There was no dialogue and it was fast-paced. I wish you would've put more of an explanation of events between the first and second paragraphs.
I hope you write more horror stories :) I can't wait to see what you come up with next time.

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deletedaug23
Review
deletedaug23 wrote a review Review · Oct 25, 2013

First of all, welcome to YWS!!
My name is Strange and I thought I would review this as it seemed interesting.
I was honestly disappointed (a lot) with the first story.
I thought it was somewhat generic and un-original. Your writing style, on the other hand, is impressive. There is one writing mistake I noticed in the first one. You put two character's dialogue in the same paragraph. That is troubling.
That Raggedy Ann story gave me goosebumps and ruined my childhood.
I really like the second one. It was well done and imaginative. The true origin story of what we love. It ruined my childhood, so that's good coming from a story like that
The second one can be a true creepypasta
Strange gives you
The Dead Beating Heart:4/10
The True Story of Raggedy Ann:7/10
Good job
Keep writing
And please keep me updated on these stories

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NightWolf
Review
NightWolf wrote a review Review · Oct 25, 2013

Hello, Squire Wolf here to review for you.

These stories both have a chilly quality to them, and I have goosebumps right now. My favourite was probably the second, it was eerier than the first and was, in my opinion, better in the way it was wrote.

Grammar

In the Dead Beating Heart, there are no punctuation mistakes, but there a couple of missing words in a few sentences.

The first one, I bolded the word that needs to be added for the sentence to make sense.

Slowly I turned, scared at what I would see.


The second:
Holding her heart in one of her hands, the knife in the other


They are the only two mistakes I could see throughout that first story, so well done! This one isn't the eeriest of the two, but it is still chilling. There is one thing though, why did he run to the graveyard? You never said, and so it seems you were just trying to make it creepy. Apart from that, I liked it.

There is another case of a missing word in the second story.
Here:
Nobody knew who was doing it or why


Apart from that, only one more little issue in this one. Where you say:
Sadness and fear overwhelmed the city

Hang on, I thought it was a village? This is where it's good to read through and check you are consistent.

I liked both these stories, not that I'm a huge fan of horror. There were a few minor issues, but your writing style is brilliant. Well done!

Oops, I need to fix that. I wrote this in the middle of the night.

Also keep in touch. Monday I should have some more stories added to it



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