Published June 14, 2009
In a corner all alone
In my one time- zone
I have a wondrous world
Just waiting to be explored.
But you don’t know that
You don’t take the time to ask
“What are you thinking?”
Or “What are you writing?”
You don’t see me
In my mask of invisibility
You don’t know the things
That go on in my mind
If you could see
I’d let you come with me
On my inside journeys
In my own world
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Canary word: Present
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140,808 Literary Works • 673,689 Reviews
This is very creative.
It gives the way you see things, and yet it keeps discription!
I love this!
Keep Writing
-flower-
Heya Livybmee! I'm Kamas and (if I may) I will be your reviewer.
This is an interesting poem with an original idea but there are some thing you have to work on.
F ~ Flow ~
Though it has a rhyming pattern that oyu keep all the way through,
the flow is off. Read it out loud to your self to make sure the flow isn't choppy
The syllable count is off so it messes up the flow
- In a corner all alone (7 count)
-In my one time-zone (5 count)
Fix up those things
I would go into more depth but I must disappear and eat dinner
Good job and keep writing
K A M A S
Oh wow, this is really very good! I love how it captures your feelings as well as, what I feel, every artist (whether they be a painter or writer) feels...wonderful job! I think the only thing I would recommend is maybe using a little more word choice, just a little change can make a huge difference, but other than that It looks great! keep up the great work!
Keep Writing!